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Tell us a little about yourself.
All right. My real name is Katie Olsen, although for the most part I go by Kitty. I'm 22, my favorite colors are purple and green and when I'm not writing I'm likely on a sims binge. I cry at the drop of a hat, I struggle with social anxiety and depression, but I'm doing my best to push myself each day to combat it.
And yes, I am a cat lady, my cat is named Hermione and my boyfriend's cat is Demi, but if I'm in public and I see a dog I will punch my boyfriend's shoulder until he too sees the dog.
With a nickname like Kitty, your cat lady fate seems destined! Were your own cats the inspiration for your monthly contest winning story, The Cat Lady?
Haha, yes. I love my babies so much and although they can be little demons at times, I know they love me too. I think Hermione's already sat on the keyboard once while I'm filling this out because she wants to cuddle.
When did you first become interested in horror?
There's two events I can really pin on me learning my love for horror.
One: My twin sister called me over to the computer and showed me a story about a cursed video game cartridge of Zelda game Majora's Mask, along with video 'proof' of what the writer of said creepypasta was experiencing. I can truthfully say it spooked me to the bone, my sister would follow up with pranks of having the dang song of unhealing playing on the computer and when I shook the mouse, BEN's fucking face was the desktop. I found creepypasta after that, like, all the creepypasta. Jeff the Killer (I KNOW it's horrible now but back then I loved it, I was like twelve, eat me), Slenderman, Candle Cove, The Russian Sleep Experiment, I could go on. If you name a 'classic' creepypasta I probably read it, a tiny twelve year old internet goblin peering into the depths of the internet to see how weird it could get.
Two: These both happened around the same time, so both contributed to my horror interest. My uncle has a cabin up in the northern part of Michigan. We used to go up there all the time to celebrate New Year's or just hang out with the family. But there was no internet connection, and like I said, I was an internet goblin, so I got very bored. There were a few books up there, so I shuffled through them and I found this small blue book, I cannot tell you what the title was, it's been far too long. But I do know that the story The Lottery was in it. There were a few others in there as well, one involving contacts that had the main character start seeing everyone with various animal heads- if anyone knows where I can find this story so I can read it again, you will have my thanks. I also found Stephen King's 'Nightmares and Dreamscapes', I remember laughing my ass off when I read the line 'reality can take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut' in the beginning. The first two or three stories didn't quite grab me, I liked them, but I think I was too young to appreciate them. But then I read Popsy. Popsy tells the story of a gambling addict neck deep in debt who kidnaps children to help pay off those debts. He grabs the wrong child one night and he absolutely pays for it. That one hit a key note in me, and I think it influences my writing to this day.
Was there a specific moment you knew you wanted to write in that genre?
I'm not sure if I can describe an exact moment, I just woke up one day with this story in my head and I wanted to see if I could make it turn out. The story is still on my tumblr, it's called 'I See Pictures', and although I probably could write it better nowadays it was a pretty good first shot. I entered it into a Sixpenceee Story contest and I was one of the finalists but I did not win. I ended up trying again a few months later, and I wrote and entered 'The Walls Sweat'. This one won the contest and I think that's when I began to realize I might have a knack for this sort of thing.
How did you discover NoSleep? What prompted you to begin writing for it?
I probably found it because someone reposted a story from here onto tumblr, I can't remember exactly when I discovered it but I came back frequently enough to find some really great stories. I'd stuck with posting my stories to Tumblr for the longest time until I decided to ask my followers if I should start posting some of them on NoSleep. UnsettlingStories or reddit user u/iia commented within ten minutes saying 'do it'. He pushed me to make that final move and here I am now.
What NoSleep stories and/or authors have had the strongest impact on you?
Ohman. Well definitely u/iia, unsettlingstories, he's the one who told me to start posting on nosleep and I've always loved his style of writing. Always brilliant, although I feel like I need a shower after reading some of his more extreme ones. Other authors include u/ezmisery and u/lunakinesis, lunakinesis actually being a very good friend of mine even though she's not active on nosleep at the moment.
What is the most terrifying thing you have personally experienced?
I was in a car accident last December. Roads were pure ice, we were about halfway home and my boyfriend just made a joke about a cartoon he watched and I laughed, then we started sliding. We hit one other person and fucked up the front bumper of our car before we managed to get off the road. We weren't hurt, neither was the man in the other car, but I remember screaming as we slid around. We had no control. I still get nervous in the car if we take a sudden turn or stop. Rationally I know it's stupid to be so shaken about an accident that no one got hurt in, but it still gets to me.
We're glad no one was hurt! We much prefer your fictional horror experiences to reality. Do you ever explore writing other genres besides horror? If so, what other styles of writing? Which do you prefer?
This might come as a shock to some, but my first love is and always will be fantasy. I've always loved fantasy, ever since I was young I'd write stories about dragons and other such things. Even now I actually have a small fantasy series I update irregularly on Wattpad and my wordpress, The Way Through the Forest. It's a gift to my nieces when they get old enough to read it, the main character is even named after them.
Your fantasy stories are some of our favorites of your work. A few of your stories involve fairies (e.g., Fairytale Wedding, and I took a walk for Seven years), and you've also covered mermaids and other mythological creatures. What is it about fantasy that you find so compelling? Is it ever difficult to balance those elements with horror when writing for NoSleep?
Fantasy's just always been my escape. As a child my cousin would tell me stories about dragons who saved kids and had magical adventures and that's followed me all my life. And to be honest, mixing fantasy with horror is like mixing peanut butter and chocolate- it's a match made in heaven and it can work really well. Fantasy can be exceptionally creepy after all, read some original fairytales and you'll understand what I mean. People created stories about the Fair Folk and other similar things to explain the crap that happened in their lives. Food gone off? Fae mischief. Your child is 'different'? It's a changeling. People keep drowning in the nearby lake? There's a kelpie in there. Someone's disappeared and no one knows what happened to them? Clearly they've been spirited away by fairies.
Fairytale Wedding and I Took a Walk both also positively feature LGBT+ relationships. What are your feelings on LGBT+ representation in horror as a genre, and on NoSleep specifically?
There's really not much LGBT representation in horror, I think people are scared to throw in a queer character because 'what if I kill them off' or 'what if I write them insensitively?' Really that problem is fixed by research and thinking practically. You might goof the first time but take some constructive criticism, do more research, and next time things will go over better. Thankfully I've never really gotten backlash from it and I think people were having a friendly conversation about what it means to be asexual in the comments of Fairytale Wedding- something that made an ace very close to me happy. I'm bisexual myself so if I have a chance to throw in a gay character or a trans character, I'm doing it.
Of course there are people who think it's 'forced' in or that it feels unnatural to have a queer character and they voice their opinions loudly, but really, if you're the one thinking that a man coming home after seven years gone in fairyland and one of his children transitioned is 'unnatural', you really need to rethink your priorities. For the most part though? Some of my most popular stories on NoSleep featured LGBT+ representation. People are growing more accepting and I've had many people come into my tumblr asks or my reddit messages thanking me for writing a trans character or a gay character. And that's the people I'm writing it for.
Has the current political and social climate entered into your work? What role, if any, do you think politics has in horror?
If you don't think politics plays a role in any form of fiction, you're in denial. The world around us shapes what people are inspired to write, at least in my case, and yeah that means politics plays a part. On my tumblr I have a story called Ferrymen to the Afterlife, where the mass amount of pollution in world actually plays a role in kicking off the zombie apocalypse. That's probably the closest I've gotten to getting actually political in my stories, off the top of my head anyways.
Have any of your stories ever involved research? If so, what was involved?
Most recently I researched ways to commit suicide for my story 'The Pact'. Google provided me with suicide hotlines and I was just like 'I'm not suicidal I'm okay but thank you anyway internet search engine'. Google is a friend and I use it for finding out anything from pregnancy to demonic possession. I'm actually more embarrassed about researching the former, just in case anyone catches me and starts asking awkward questions. No, not pregnant, not trying to get pregnant, I don't want a baby kthanksbye.
How much time do you spend writing in an average day or week? Do you have any rituals that help you focus?
To be honest I don't spend as much time as I should. On average, I'd say two to three hours a week. I sometimes meditate to get my head straight and my mind focused, but sometimes I'm just like 'k Kitty it's time to write open up the flippin' word document' and I get to work.
What are your feelings toward NoSleep's immersion/believability rule? What impact, if any, do you think the suspension of disbelief format may have when transitioning your work toward a mass audience unfamiliar with NoSleep?
I love the immersion, it makes it really fun and I love answering in character to comments. Although I've had a few confused people wondering if my stories are true and a friend of mine accidentally stumbled onto the subreddit and got the pants scared off of her when she thought the stories were true- she figured out quickly enough that wasn't the case though and we all had a good laugh about it.
Honestly I feel like I keep the two writing styles separated. I don't write specifically for nosleep, I write for myself and if any edits need to be done to fit nosleep standards, I see what I can do. I actually had to change the first chapter of Rules of Camp Golden Oak so it fit the standards, that whole beginning paragraph was not in the initial story. On my tumblr it was just the list of rules. If I can't change a story for nosleep, then it simply isn't posted there.
Do you feel there are particular challenges you face as a woman writing in the horror genre? Are there advantages?
Oh jeez. That's a question. Honestly, the main challenge is one I faced was that I've recently received several anonymous asks that were sexual and just really freaking gross. For the most part I blocked them, but then they went after one of my friends as well and I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life. They were just trying to get a rise out of me, clearly, but it worked. You shouldn't do that to people, ya know? As far as advantages go, I've put in several stories horror involving pregnancies, The Devil's Wives, Growth, False Pregnancy, My Parents Didn't Believe My Sister was Pregnant, Mother of Monsters, and it's because I personally have a fear of getting pregnant. Using my personal fears like that I think helps make the stories better. (Not all these stories are on Nosleep yet by the way.)
One of those stories, My Parents Didn't Believe My Sister Was Pregnant, is deliberately left ambiguous. As the author, what do you think the creature from the closet was?
It's a closet monster yo. Sister was shacking up with the boogeyman.
Sibling relationships factor into several of your other stories as well. Has your own family or upbringing influenced your work?
I have a twin sister that I'm close to now but we've gone through some rough patches where we didn't speak. We're quite different but I'm so glad that we've reconnected, she's a cosplay nerd and goes through patches of obsession with the most random of things, I love her and I think she definitely influences my writing- the good times and the bad times. She's always been cheering me on <3.
Yes, my last name is Olsen and I have a twin sister, people have been pointing that out since I was born.
Are there any topics you feel are too controversial for you to address or that you prefer not to explore in your writing?
I think there are a few, I have been asked to do a sequel to a story on my tumblr called Brother For Sale, but that'll involve going into the details of human trafficking and ahahaha nOPE. However I've written things that are just as horrible, necrophilia, rape, gore, etc. but it's just that particular topic that makes me squeamish beyond all belief.
Do you have any favorite reader reactions to your writing?
I live for the tears. They keep me hydrated.
What story or project are you most proud of?
Probably the one that's come out about a month ago- The Wedding Bells book. I've worked on the book for almost a year. I'm really excited with how the rewritten versions of the Snow Family stories have turned out, particularly Lover Boy- although I did actually become nauseated writing the story's climax, and no that's not a double entendre.
Tell us more about Wedding Bells. Without spoilers, can you give us an idea of what new readers, and those familiar with the characters involved, can look forward to?
Wedding Bells was initially a story that I posted on my tumblr about a wealthy but cruel girl named Eliza Jane, one I intended to be just a one off. But I saw there was so much opportunity for growth, so much to see about the world around this twisted girl that I had to continue it. The book is four short stories, the first three being rewritten versions of stories available on my tumblr- Wedding Bells, Lover Boy, and Puppy Love. Each one has been extended and improved, I think there's a few inconsistencies with the originals that I've managed to hammer out.
The fourth story is completely original. It's not been posted anywhere, not even an early draft, and that one is 'As I Hold My Love Dying'. This is the story of Eliza's parents, Abraham and Emeline. Abraham's always been a quiet influence in the background of these stories and Emeline only played a major part in A Beautiful Name. It has been so much fun diving into the character that is Abraham and how the twisted dramatic nature of the Snows really does run in the family. If Wedding Bells does well, I intend on writing another Snow Family book that'll focus more on the family relations rather than what they consider 'romance'.
What's the most valuable lesson you've learned since you began posting to NoSleep?
Not everyone's going to like my stories, and frankly some people just WANT to be dicks. That's fine. Just go on and ignore the people who just want to complain while sifting through for the rare but beautiful constructive criticism.
As a successful author on NoSleep, do you have any advice for new contributors?
New contributors, your first story likely isn't going to get many upvotes. Your second story probably won't either, and in fact your third might not as well. I think part of it has to do with luck and what people are into at the moment. Right now the more popular stories seem to be a bit wholesomenosleep but that might change by the time people see this interview. Don't give up, ignore the people who just spew hate without giving any sort of way to improve, don't feel pressured to write sequels to stories that you feel are done even if people want more, and always strive to improve. Every time I put my words to paper I hope that the story I'm working on turns out a little better than the last one, and that's what your main goal should be when posting to nosleep or really anywhere- that this time will be better than the last.
What are your short-term and long-term writing goals?
Short term, I want to improve my writing skills and get more readers. I hope to keep up a regular schedule of posting weekly as well.
Long term, I want to publish a book and not just self publishing either. I want to grow my patreon to the point where I don't have to cry whenever I have to buy something or when I treat myself to something small like a used book. I want to be able to support myself through my writing because it's all I've ever wanted to do.
Community Questions:
From CheesySandwiches: Why do you write horror?
I love exploring dark 'what ifs' in stories that I can't explore in other genres, I guess. It's a lot of fun.
What does horror mean to you?
Something that makes you feel unsettled, that there's something not right and you need to figure out what or get the hell away.
Why the username?
During my edgy early teen years I started calling myself odd because I just didn't fit in with what people considered appropriate. I was mocked quite brutally by a particular group in my art class because I didn't laugh at their jokes and didn't understand the sexual comments they made about me and my body. So I started using 'theoddone' as a gamer tag and a way to refer to myself in various artworks. I can't say the exact thought process that went through my head when I used the username theoddcatlady the first time, but well, I can't say it's inaccurate.
Submitted anonymously: Your house is on fire, and your family is safe outside. What book do you grab before joining them?
As long as my family includes my cats... I'm probably gonna grab my copy of Redwall by Brian Jacques, actually. It's my favorite comfort book, I read it when I'm feeling low.
Submitted anonymously: What book made you cry hardest?
Friiiiiiiick... probably the final book in the Hunger Games series, Mockingjay. Everyone died and I wasn't okay.
From OnyxOctopus: What’s your favorite kind of cat? What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? How do you take your tea? What kind would you like? One lump or two? How many snickerdoodles can I get you? Are you warm enough? If not, I can get you a hand-crocheted afghan! Would you like one? ❤️ Munchkin cats, their legs are SO TINY. Cookies and Cream ice cream. I just drink it as is I guess? Not picky, I like minty blends though. Or Chai tea! I love me some Chai. My boyfriend makes amazing snickerdoodle cookies, I love them. And I'm always cold so I'd take that afghan.
Submitted anonymously: Are you a Brennan or a Dale?
Iiiiii don't know what that meeaannns...
Submitted anonymously: What is the greatest album of all time, and why is it Metropolis Part II: Scenes from a Memory?
Clearly it's the best because I've never heard of it.
From ByfelsDisciple: Would you rather have a hamster-sized rhino or a rhino-sized hamster?
Hamster sized rhino, I feel a rhino sized hamster would be really hard to take care of. Besides- hamster sized rhino could just take a ride in my pocket! It'd be so cute!
Submitted anonymously: If you were able to spend the day with any figure in the horror community (author, director, actor, etc.), who would you choose and why?
Probably the least creative answer, I don't care, Stephen King. And I'd want to get his opinions on how to improve as a writer while I get to pet Molly, aka The Thing of Evil.
Submitted anonymously: If you had to live in the established universe of any of your stories, which would you choose and why?
Oh god I'd not pick any of my horror ones if I had a choice. I'mma go live in The Way Through the Forest universe where I can be a powerful witch and live in a cabin surrounded by my cats while having afternoon tea with nymphs and birdfolk. If I reeaally didn't have a choice though... I'd probably pick Autopsy Report, where there's more witchy mayhem.
From poppy_moonray: You're granted the ability to choose one mildly inconvenient superpower (e.g., you can fly, but only when it rains heavily, you have telekinesis, but can only move objects that weigh less than 5 pounds, and can't move them more than 5 feet at a time). What mildly inconvenient superpower would you pick, and what's the first thing you would do with it?
I'm invisible but only when my eyes are closed. And I'd probably use it to scare six kinds of heck out of my boyfriend or my sister.
Favorite cat character in media?
Aaaand I'm revealing my soft spot for the Redwall series once again- Tsarmina, the wildcat in Mossflower. She was a total power hungry tyrant and I am Here for that.
What fruit do you empathize with most strongly? What fruit fills you with an unbridled fury?
Probably grapes. People like grapes. And are avocados fruit or veggies because I have no idea but they still piss me off because everyone says they're so good and I'm very meh on them.
Which would you rather have as a pet (assuming they were cool with it): a unicorn, a griffin, or a dragon?
That's a tough one. Probably the dragon though, the first fantasy series I got really into when I was young was Eragon and dragons are the best. Although I tried rereading it recently and couldn't get past the first chapter. I just couldn't get into it.
Submitted anonymously: You're at your weekly Monday night trivia session when the host asks your team to name all the actors who've played James Bond. You naturally start with your favorite, which is...
.... I'm a horrible person. I've not seen ONE James Bond movie. Not a single one. Listen, I've missed out on a lot of popular culture- didn't see Jurassic Park until I was seventeen, only recently was forced to see The Room (Thanks, projectclockwurk and lunakinesis, you monsters), I've never seen The Shining, seriously, you ask me about a movie and there's a decent enough chance I've never seen it.
Submitted anonymously: Which of your stories has been the most difficult to write, and why?
Lover Boy. I got. So squicked. No spoilers, especially since I revisited it for my book, but I'm shivering just thinking about it.
From ByfelsDisciple: What do you think is your most underrated story? Your most overrated?
Underrated, I think Video Game Addict. I posted it just after I got off a hiatus so it got overlooked. And oh, you're all going to hate me, but I think The Cat Lady really could've used some polish. I initially posted it on my tumblr in 2016, it only got crossposted to nosleep this year but to my surprise it really took off. I think we can all appreciate the sentiment, we've all known people like the cat lady's neighbors, the concept of Monstrous Humans and Monsters Who Act Human (or in this case, Act Cat) is always been a successful one, but I would change SO much if I wrote it today. I know Goliath being a calico isn't likely because he's a tomcat, that was a dumb move on my part.
Submitted anonymously: Are you really an odd cat lady?
Fuck yeah I am.
Submitted anonymously: What question did you want to be asked that didn’t get asked?
I think I've said all I want to say, thank you!
Want more uncomfortable visits with your local CatLady? Grab your lint roller, hold your breath, and walk on into her social media pages!

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Cautious belly rubs to everyone who submitted questions, and Fancy Feast and head scratches to u/TheOddCatLady for taking the time to answer them!
Want more interviews? Not quite willing to scour the deep web to find them? Don't worry, we're scared of that place too. That's why you can just head on back here on Monday, September 17th when we interview u/Mr_Outlaw_!
While you wait, feel free to take some weird internet surveys, catch up with an old friend, and try to ignore that creepy tunnel and whatever stuff is stored in it.

I saw this posted at another site and figured I would copy and paste it, Brandon Lang had a movie made about him starring Al Pacino and Matthew McConaughey
Yes, for those of you who have been around a couple decades, the New York City company that Brandon Lang worked for was the disgraced company that was run by Stu Feiner.
No, this was not a movie that was paid/produced for by BIG Hollywood. The movie was made by an off-shore sports book.
Let's get to the "name thing". In the movie, they said his real name was Brandon Lang and when he went on to work for the boiler room Stu Feiner outfit, he was given a "power name" (John Anthony), just like all the scam outfits have always done.
His real Name is Brandon Link. During the first draft of the movie, they were using Brandon Long before settling on Brandon Lang. The irony is, after the movie came out, Brandon Link parlayed the hype and went into the handicapping business and now calls himself Brandon Lang.
There is a hint in the credits, for Brandon has a very short cameo appearance near the beginning of the movie. At the end of the film, he is credited as: Man Greeting Brandon #1 --- BRANDON LINK!
The story is related by Brandon Lang/Long/Link (Matthew McConaughey) who begins life as a sports hero and just at the moment when he is ready to break in to the Pro Football domain, he fractures his leg in a winning touchdown.
Noooooooooooooo, Brandon Lang/Lane/Link/Long was NOT a star college football quarterback that brought his team to a major Bowl game only to get injured in the final minutes. Think about it, did you ever hear his name? We all recognize the QB's that are in major bowl games. Hell, if you are a skeptic, just do a Google search!
He did hurt his knee though. You ask how? It was in a basketball pickup game that was being played at a local fitness center! The league was called THE SPORTING HOUSE LEAGUE. The name of the fitness center is The Sporting House. It's a few steps below a park district league.
There's a hilarious side story to Brandon's "injury story". Late last year, a college football writer telephoned Brandon Lang/Lane/Link/Long and told him that he's never heard of him and asked what college team he took to the bowl game. Brandon was caught off guard, but being the pathological liar he is, he came up with an amazing lie AGAIN! He copped to the fact that he never quarterbacked a bowl team and that indeed, he injured his knee in a fitness center league. He went on to claim that one day, UNLV basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian stopped by to watch a game (yeah, right) and that Coach Tarkanian told Brandon that he was good enough to be a walk-on for UNLV! By the way, that was during the hey days of the UNLV program and their National Championship run.
Want another lie? Sure you do! Was Brandon Lang/Lane/Link/Long a Las Vegas handicapper? Hell no! BLLLL was not a sports handicapper, or even a telemarketing salesman. He was a score phone announcer working for a major Las Vegas sports handicapping service. He was working for $6.00 an hour for a company that you know all about. (Hint: Initials of the owner are JF__ ) This major Las Vegas handicapping service is still going strong and you can see their sports handicapping INFOMMERCIAL Saturday mornings on cable TV. I know that you can fill in the blanks!
So, since he was NOT a handicapper, and had no reputation at all in the industry, how did he hook up with scamdicapper Stu Feiner?
Brandon's manager (at J__ F____ Sports) had many conversations with this infamous New York sports handicapper (Stu Feiner) that Al Pacino plays. The supervisor's job was to try to sell Stu Feiner 900 # score phone advertising and Brandon “The Wonder Boy” score phone announcer would read “Mr. New York's” advertising copy, or sometimes Feiner would call into Las Vegas to do a live feed. So, that's how the two of them first got together. After liberal tipping and spiffing, Feiner eventually convinced “Wonder Boy” to come New York and work for him. He just needed a guy for voice talent work.
The real truth about what happened at Stu Feiner's service is that Brandon Lang/Lane/Link/Long was such a failure at selling games (yep, he was one of those sports service salesmen that would tell you anything they could to get a buck from you), that he lost his job and became a caddie at a Los Angeles Country Club. Jim Feist would not rehire him. Due to his obvious narcissism, he liked talking so much about himself and stretching the truth to the men that he washed balls for that one hollywood-type believed him and searched for a way to get enough money to make the film.
Nobody bought it. Then, BoDog, an offshore sportsbook put up the money to pay for the film! Brandon Lang/Lane/Link/Long and BoDog made a business deal and they were marketing the relationship big time until they realized that the potential consumer to Brandon's picks (he was advising his members to use BoDog), would figure it out. The deal with BoDog gave Brandon Lang/Lane/Link/Long a kickback of the money that his clients lost when betting at BoDog! Why would BoDog want Brandon's action if he was winning?
Are we having fun yet?
Let's explore documented facts and the odds of betting on the outcome of events.
In the film, Brandon Lang goes 12 for 12 in his first try at handicapping the weekend. Let's examine this. According to the Las Vegas Gaming Commission (whose job it is to keep an eye on such things), in the history of football parlay card betting, NOBODY has ever won 12 for 12 on a football parlay card! Imagine how many thousands has tried? The odds of going 12 for 12 is a staggering 4894-1 against the bettor. An interesting note that is also on the Gaming Commission's historical report is that nobody has ever hit 12 for 12 on a Keno card in the history of betting despite hundreds of millions trying. According to the LVGC, the real odds of hitting 15 for 15 on a Keno card is 0.0000000000023 and it pays off $100,000 although the real odds are more than 51 billion to one against the bettor!So, are you ever going to grab a Keno card again?
So, what exactly was going on at Stu Feiner's company, the firm that employed BLLLL?
According to a comprehensive Sports Illustrated Story titled, "1-900-RIPOFFS", Abusing customers is SOP among sports advisers. "Gamblers are desperate people," says Arnie Wexler, executive director of the Council on Compulsive Gambling of New Jersey.
SI took a two-month test drive through the world of sports advisory services and found misleading ads, bait-and-switches, repeated claims of fixes coming down, misrepresentation of records, unforgivably high-pressured sales techniques, phone harassment, phone threats, phony guarantees, mail fraud, wire fraud and some perfectly dreadful manners. Even the pictures lied.
In investigating Feiner's tactics, an inspector for the Consumer Affairs Department called one of Feiner's 800 numbers to take him up on an offer of a free line on a game during the 1989 football season. The investigator spoke with a man known as Sonny Greco, also known as Phil Bonvino, a salesman for Stu Mitchell's Locker Room Report, still another service owned by Feiner. After a breathless, oath-laden pause-free speech, Greco went for the close. His pace was furious. The detective, posing as a customer named Stan, balked. Greco screamed louder.
Here is the audio taped conversation: Stan: I'm being bombarded here. Lemme think on it. I got a lot of guarantees here. Sonny: I'm not interested in anybody else you're call., Stan! The difference here is this, OK? We own this game tonight on oveunder! We own this information. Now go get your credit card, and let's start making money! You don't need to deal with anybody but me! Stan: Wait� Sonny: I own this game in oveunder! I have the winner! Tonight! No what's your credit card number? Stan: OK, lemme get back to you. Sonny: Stan, you're not going to call me back! You know it as well as I do, and if you think I'm going to let you off the phone with that ___, you're crazy! OK? I've got the winner tonight! I own this game in over-under, and I'm going to own your bookmaker's ass! So get your credit card out and let's get going! Stan: Lemme tell you what we're gonna do. I'm gonna think about it. Sonny (louder still): Stan, there's nothing to think about! Click. Greco is ruthless, loud and scary. No wonder Feiner has given him his own sports service-Phil Bonvino's Locker Room Report. Says a former phone tout for a large Long Island service, "There were plenty of times when we'd tell a guy, 'Look, if you don't come across, I'm gonna tell your wife you're gambling again.' Or we'd tell high school kids that we were going to tell their parents." Says the ex-salesman for Kevin Duffy, "We'd call up anybody, even guys we knew were going to Gamblers Anonymous. We'd stay on them." Question: How do sports advisers get away with it? Better question: Who are customers supposed to complain to? Gamblers don't want to turn anybody in because most of them are breaking the law themselves. As a result, the touts go unpoliced. Soon clients got a clue and stopped paying. That's when the people from the Seasons Edge group "got heavy-handed," says Robert Schroeder of the office of the US Attorney in Atlanta. "They'd threaten to kill members of the family, burn down their homes." One victim was told if he didn't send more money, he'd be "chopped up into little tiny pieces with a chain saw." Gamblers were bilked out of $413,000 before a victim's parents finally called the FBI when their son, a college student, lost his tuition money and resorted to using his father's credit card to try to obtain his "refund." Schroeder nailed conspiracy, wire fraud and extortion convictions on 12 people. They got the full package sentences ranging up to 87 months in jail.
It is also a business in which profits can be enormous, some services are believed by at least one close observer of the industry to make as much as $1 million annually. Last year the people at the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs looked into the advertising practices of the sports adviser business and came away with their hair on end. "These have been among the most egregious, outrageous claims we've ever encountered," says a department attorney, Fred Cantor.
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"I remember once a guy needed a bailout game real bad," says a former salesman for a major tout operating out of New York City. "He was buried, so he wanted to put two or three dimes [$2000 or $3000] down on something good. I said I had a lock for him. I put him on hold, and I went into my boss's office and I said, 'Who do you want to pick, the Jets or Minnesota?' And he said, 'Take Minnesota. My mom likes purple.' So I gave this poor sucker Minnesota based on some lady's favorite color. He lost." Ripoffs Rule the Roost.: "The Source", a sports adviser service in Farmingdale, NY, owned by Stu Feiner, who also owns a few 900 call-in lines. Another exhibit is Feiner's brother-in-law, the aforementioned Kevin Duffy, perhaps the nation's most successful scamdicapper, who became famous for running ads that said, "I will go 7-0 for you today, absolutely free." Too bad "absolutely free" meant you first had to sign up for a month's service at $350. Then, if Duffy didn't go 7-0 in the first week, you got the next month free. Duffy, who operates out of Massapequa, Long Island, also claimed to be no worse than 75% right, ever. Yet when his picks were audited by the Sports Monitor of Oklahoma City, one of the rare legitimate monitors (among the dozens of such outfits that purport to keep tabs on the performance of tout services), he never fared better than 58.8% in any regular football season between 1985 and 1988, and he sank as low as 39.7% for his college picks in 1987. Eventually the Sports Monitor refused to monitor Duffy because of his "deceptive ad practices." Stu Feiner agreed to be monitored by SI for four weeks in September. To his credit, he unfailingly gave us his choices. To his discredit, Feiner went 19-32, a 37% win rate, and lost us an imaginary $6,210 based on $100 per unit. During that same period, we were anonymously calling Feiner's 800 number, where, curiously, he claimed to be cleaning up. On Sept. 23, for instance, after Feiner had gone 3-11 for the week on his picks for SI, bringing his record for us to 11-25, one of his shills, Kenny Leeds, said in response to our anonymous call, "This week I [meaning the company] went 3-0, the week before, I was 3-1." On Oct. 3, after Feiner had gone 7-7 for the weekend, we again called anonymously and got another Feiner salesman, Larry Marco. "This past weekend, we swept the board," Marco said. Then Leeds called back. "This kid Feiner is making betting history," he said.
Yeah, so did Art Schlichter!
For you youngsters, Art Schlichter was a first round draft choice (DUDE HAD MAJOR SKILLS) as a quarterback coming out of Ohio State in 1982; what's more, he enjoyed an image so wholesome his biography was titled Straight Arrow. But Schlichter gambled away his $350,000 signing bonus during his rookie season with the Baltimore Colts. He was suspended and reinstated the next year, after declaring he had the disease of compulsive gambling for which he had gotten help. In 1985, he was cut by the Colts and never played football again. If success started Schlichter's addiction, failure really fueled it. In 1988 he declared bankruptcy, referring frequently to his disease. Schlichter's ex-wife, Mitzi Schlichter, helped found the Custer Gambling Treatment Center in Indianapolis after she left her husband in 1994. Schlichter, meanwhile, has spent four of the six years since then in prison. In 1997, he was pulled out of a court-ordered gambling treatment program and hauled back to jail when he was caught betting. Schlichter is currently awaiting trial on money laundering charges and stealing ************, all revolving around taking money, often from family members, in order to gamble. Schlichter takes no responsibility for his misbehavior — and, despite harping on his disease and although his wife created her own gambling treatment center, Schlichter has never shown any inclination to fly straight.
Feiner was fined $13,000 in February 1990 by the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs for false and misleading advertising, yet he sent out a promotional brochure last month that reported a "1991 documented record college and pro: 9-3." Knowing Feiner's record as we did, we asked him how he could say this. "That's what I had the first week." he said, before you started documenting me." Fine. That would've been the weekend of Aug. 31-Sept. 2. The booklet, however, was dated Sept. 19-Oct. 7, 1991. During one of our anonymous calls, Leeds told us he had "strong information" on a game he wanted us to buy, so strong it was a dead mortal lock, so strong that he was putting $2000 of his own money on the game. We were dubious.
Here's the audio taped conversation: Leeds: You don't believe me? I'll fly you out here [from Colorado]. SI: Fly me out there? Leeds: I'll fly you to __ Long Island, and I'll have you take a ride with me! SI: Why? Leeds" To see how I pick it [his winnings] up and where I pick it up from. SI: Can you fly me out this week? Leeds: What I'm saying is�I'm using that's a little bit of a mild exaggeration. Don't get me wrong, but I've met a lot of my clients. I've met Dan Marino. SI: You know Dan Marino? Leeds: Well, I stood next to him at the Super Bowl, and my friend took my picture with him. Feiner says that if somebody calls his 800 number and doesn't sign up, "We'll call him every day for a couple months, because eventually they'll change their minds.
"Mike Warren (real name Mike Laskey - a degenerate horse bettor who was run out of business by the United States Attorney and fined heavily) is a former pathetic handicapper and a tremendous con artist," says Feiner. Says Warren, "Stu Feiner? He's got a big mouth, always talking big. He knows this hoodlum and that hoodlum-gonna break my legs. You know what? He can't break an egg. I gave him my address. He's so short, the only thing he can reach is my legs." Mike Warren was ordered by The United States District Attorney to run major advertisements in which he had to admit his frudulent claims of success.
If you think guys like Feiner and Warren will make you wish you have never installed your phone, Atlanta's John L. Edens, alias Johnny DeMarco, the Babe Ruth of 900 sales pitchers, will make you wish Alexander Graham Bell had never been born. According to published ads and SPORTS ILLUSTRATED taped phone calls, Edens:
Got on his 800 line and told listeners to call his 900 line for $25, "and if the game loses, there'll be no charge." That, of course, is a lie. Once a call is made on a 900 line, the charge is automatic.

• Told customers of one of his phone services that his special guest selector that day was "a former six-time NBA basketball All-Star who wishes to remain anonymous due to security matters." The anonymous "All-Star" then got on the line and offered his inside information on "three big plays, tonight."
  
• Told his customers on another occasion, "Sporting Illustrated magazine calls the Handicapping Hotline the Number One value in sports." Remarkably, there is no Sporting Illustrated.
  
• Wrote in a print ad, which appeared in the schedule of games he sent out to customers in early 1991, that his service was rated "the very best available by the Interstate Sports Commission, the nation's only legitimate monitoring service." The ad failed to mention that the ISC is owned by a company with which, DeMarco acknowledges, he is "affiliated."
  
• Got on his 800 line in March 1989 and said he had spoken with then N.C. State coach Jim Valvano and had "key" information on the Final Four. Valvano says he has never spoken to DeMarco.
  

Scripts at the a New York based sports service? Yep, The New York Consumer Affairs Commission got their hands on one! It will frighten you.
Here it is:
It read: "I'm glad I got ahold of you in time! We are releasing our biggest information game of the ____ (month/season) going off ___ (day of week). Now, ___ (name), listen carefully. Our inside sources have tipped us off to this game. We know exactly what's going to happen. We know the winner. (Lower voice) It's the kind of game I can't even talk about over the phone-you follow me, right? (Response) OK Good�All you gotta do is cover me with $___ How do you do it, **** or **********?"
The fix scam is essential to a tout's repertoire. "You'd lower your voice way down," says one employee who worked for this company for four years, "and you'd say, 'Is this line clean? No taps on it, right? OK Listen, we've got information on this game. you know what I'm saying? The winner of this game was already decided in a hotel room."
"You'd be talking with grown men who were crying on the phone," says one former tout Stu Feiner salesman "Guys who were losing everything but still betting. And I'd lie awake in the middle of the night hoping the guy would win. So I'd call the sports phone and get a late West Coast game at 4 a.m. and go, 'Damn, he lost again."
"It was like feeding drugs to an addict," says the ex-salesman. "We'd try to take whoever we got and make them bet more. We'd take college kids who were betting $25 and say, 'Hey, you got to bet $500 on this game. If you don't bet a nickel I'm not gonna give it to you.' If they won, they got a taste for big money. If they lost, they were desperate to get out [of the hole], and so they start chasing. How can anyone who works for Kevin and Stu have a conscience? Basically, I was just hurting people." And that, unfortunately, is the only absolute lock SPORTS ILLUSTRATED found.
Here's a recent publication about BLLLL: We figured we'd check in with handicapping schizo Brandon Lang/Lane/Link/Long to see how he’s been doing since Two For The Money tanked at the box office, completely shattering any hopes for him elevating his career past that of an internet free pick hustler. Well, from the looks of it, the movie bombing may have rattled the golden boy's cage a bit as he stated in his open letter to his “clients” this month about his recent 1-12 (That’s ONE WIN AND TWELVE losses! He wrote on his own site: “You see the records above. I can't be any more honest, any more truthful. I've never been a guy who hid his losers, because like I say, if I can brag about the winners, I've got to own up to the losers. I've owned college football in October. I absolutely sucked in the NFL. Can't be more direct than that. As you know, and as you've heard me say on hundreds of radio interviews and on national TV, I don’t win everyday. Cant and won’t. Simple as that. Some days you have to give back to your man some of the money you won off of him. It happens. Always has, always will. The past two weeks I've been dreadful in the NFL. Not the first time, not the last. It’s a long season. There will be ups and downs. And that's why you've got always stay within your limits and follow my money management advice. Now, of course, for those of you that came aboard the past two Sundays or Mondays for the first time, what can I say other than I lost? I mean, I'm not going into your homes, ordering you to buy. And I have no control over when you buy for the first time. But, I certainly understand you're disappointed. And that's the nature of the business, and you know it as well as me. We win together, we lose together. And whether winning or losing, you expect the truth, and that's what I'm giving you. The past two weeks in the NFL were awful, but as I always say, if you're with me for the long haul, you should make money.
"This is a marathon, not a sprint, to make money.” Yes, those of you unfortunate enough to spend money on Brandon's services — $679 for 100 days — must be thrilled with that apology. Brandon Lang is the paid handicapping equivalent of Enron at this point. But those of us who are Brandon Lang fans can at least take solace in the fact that Two For The Money will most likely be seen on East Coast flights to Vegas in the next couple weeks. ANOTHER DOCUMENTED STORY: "More of Brandon Lang’s Genius" Finally, we've happened upon some information about our friend Brandon Lang/Lane/Link/Long and his curious background that we think should finally allow us to rest our weary heads about this. A classmate of Brandon's from high school e-mailed us to give us the whole rundown on what's real, what's not, and what's ridiculous about the mysterious Mr. Lane/Lang/Link: Brandon Link: I went to high school with him; that's his real name. The Lane and Lang came later. He was a reserve player on his HS team, came off the bench, usually tried to do too much, fancy passes, etc. Could hit the outside shot, and was effective when he played under control, but he was no star. The claim in the article in his hometown paper that he was planning to walk on at UNLV after his stint in the Navy (before an injury sidelined him) led to a lot of chuckling. He couldn't start for a mediocre white boy HS team yet he was going to walk on at UNLV during the glory years? His pre-Internet gambling show was on PASS, a Detroit sports cable station. That's when he came up with the nickname “The King”. At his 10-year reunion he showed up in a car with the license “1-900-KING”. By the way, how's that for arrogance? At the reunion he drove up in that car, and one guy we know went up to him, pointed at the license, and said “1-900-KING? What is that, some +++ phone line?” Brandon was too shocked to respond. When I saw the movie trailer last week and saw a shot of that license, I cracked up. He wasn't a bad guy, just a blowhard who overestimated his abilities. It’s clear from his current PR blitz that that tendency is still there.
ANOTHER PUBLISHED STORY: "Brandon Lang/Lane/Link Fluffs McConaughey" Crazy-ass toutster Brandon Lang/Lane/Link, the sports handicapper whose life is retold in the box office clunker Two For The Money, took some time out from his busy schedule of promoting himself and making crappy picks to talk about Matthew McConaughey’s portrayal of him in the movie for, well, we guess his own website: “Matthew is a big sports fan and has been known to try his luck in the Vegas sportsbooks. In speaking to Matthew prior to shooting the movie, the dialogue in the script told him all he needed to know. The emotions that he had to draw to in order to play me were right there because he’s a sports bettor himself. I was thrilled to death with how Matthew played me in the movie and the roller coaster ride he takes viewers on properly portrays what I went through. One of the greatest compliments I've ever received in my life came from Matthew, he said “Thank you for bringing me a character where I had to dig down and draw on the emotions that every actor dreams about. This was by far my most enjoyable role.” Aw…who has warm fuzzies? We hope “Matthew” enjoyed the crap out of this role because we're pretty sure his leading man stock dropped around 30 points in the eyes of Hollywood after another stinker.
WANT ANOTHER PUBLISHED STORY?
Tout service guru and four-named evil genius Brandon Lane/Link/Lang/Long, whose story is being “retold” in Two For The Money has hooked up with omnipresent sportsbook Bodog for a special partnership and changed his name again in the span of 48 hours. In a press release Friday morning Bodog proudly gushes about their new partnership with Brandon LANG:
“Brandon Lang, the man who rocketed to fame as a sports handicapper, and Bodog.com, the company that revolutionized online entertainment, have teamed up. In an agreement signed earlier this week, Lang and Bodog will work in conjunction to build a dynamic Bodog presence on his website Brandon Lang . Lang is the subject of the Hollywood film Two for the Money, whose premiere was sponsored by Bodog.
“Teaming with Brandon Lang seemed like a natural for us,” says Bodog Founder and CEO Calvin Ayre. “We're very excited to be working with one of the most successful handicappers in the world.” Obviously, Lang's not-so-impressive record suggests he probably should not be the subject of a sports handicapping film. Apparently, superstud football picking phenom BLLLL has yet to recapture the magic touch of his youth which prompted the release of his life story on the big screen in the upcoming Two For the Money. So far this year, Lane's free picks have been rather ordinary to say the least. Brandon's free pick tally so far this year? 5-8-1. His pre-season picks? 0-3.
Could his poor record have anything to do with the time he's spending on a second career? A la Hollywood movie star? Having Matthew McConaughey play you in a film will most certainly go to anybody's head we are sure. ........................................ ..................
But then I found this little thing on IMDB. Here's the link, (pun intended!).
Two for the Money (2005)
Here is the LINK with his cameo/five second acting career!
Two for the Money (2005) - Full cast and crew
Apparently our buddy Brandon is also an aspiring actor. Or he may have thought the small, uncredited cameo role he played in Two For the Money deserved an IMDB mention. And be sure to check out the photo page, which appears to show a picture of Lang/Lane/Link/Long dressed in some sort of pajama outfit standing in a family room with a deranged look on his face. We hope that's his family room and not some random family whose home he invaded.
And whose head hasn’t exploded yet? They ask. Jesus Christ. If this does not make blood squirt out of your eyes, what will?
First there was the unreserved excitement of Brandon “Lane” and his web page at Big Green Machine, which openly complains about the fact that the name was changed to “Lang” in the movie: “Funny thing - they changed by name to Brandon “Lang” for “artistic” purposes. Damn if I know what that means, but it’s still me no matter how they spell my last name!”
Then in the Lansing State Journal there is nice fluff piece about Midland, Michigan native Brandon “Link” and his experience about having a movie made about his life.
Then there was the IMDB (Internet Movie Database) page he made for himself under Brandon “Link” because of his stirring uncredited role in Two For The Money.
And now we have Bodog partnering with Brandon Lang, replete with a spanking new website for Brandon Lang with no acknowledgment anywhere of the fact that this man is out of his ****ing skull.
ANOTHER DOCUMENTED PUBLICATION WROTE - "Brandon Lane: Enjoying 15 Minutes More Intensely Than Most"
Friday marks the nationwide opening of the Matthew McConaughey, Al Pacino gambling drama Two For the Money, loosely based on the life of former superstud handicapper Brandon Lane. Lane was a former college football player who turned his freakish ability to pick football games into a lucrative career for a tout service. Well, Brandon has himself a website and from the looks of it, he’s really proud of himself and this movie coming out. He also appears to have a little problem with containing his own excitement, even in two paragraphs: People, just had the Vegas premiere last night and it was fantastic. The Palms gave me a great suite and the photo ops were fantastic. This is what I worked hard for and now its my time to turn it on. The Chargers on Sunday, Green Bay on Monday and now “75 Dime” winner #2 in a row goes tonight. I like this MAC game and will deliver a nice winner. October thru January have always been my months. I have won more in those months than any other month. Not by accident but by design. I watch, I see, I adjust and I win. Your job is to jump on board, ride me and win money. It is in this run that you will see why they decided to make a movie about me. Nobody else, but me. Over the long haul, I will make you money. Sometimes in the midst of your losing streak, you don’t think so but this business is not about a day, a week or a month. It is about the year. You roll with me and you are not only a customer today, I want you for life. I want you part of my family. You give me that chance to earn you money and together, we will own your man. Lets own him tonight. Well, that's a little ****ing insane. Anybody else want to bump chests or break a chair over somebody's head? But if you were wondering Two For the Money opens Friday. It’s based on Brandon's life. Jump on him and ride him to the money or something. It'll be fantastic.
And so it goes...There's a sucker born every minute.
One last point..A quote from BLLLL's website that will tell you all that you need to know. "Listen, they only make movies about winners - and that's me!"
How many movies have you seen about losers? Gosh, just last night, I was watching Nick Cage's "Leaving Las Vegas". Was he a winner? The list could go on all day!
ANY QUESTIONS? No thanks. Please cease calling our office to have one hour conversations about this DOCUMENTED FRAUD. Soon, the hype will be forgotton and BLLLL will be washing men's balls again.