Hi all! October 2021 bride here! After looking at our budget and finances with my fiancé, we’ve decided that we are broke! Haha. I wanted some input on best things to DIY for the wedding.
Theme: modern/minimalist. So no wooden or burlap anything.
I was looking at DIY invitations, bouquet, and even those cool acrylic signs but I’m not sure if there’s anything Else worth DIY-ing. Are any of these just worth buying instead?
Thanks!!

(cross posted to DIY weddings) So I am NOT a crafty person at all (and have very limited space in my apartment for either crafting or storage, no outdoor space or garage at all, no car). My original plan was to rent fake flowers for centerpieces...everyone hated the idea lol.
My FMIL is craftier and thinks she can make the centerpieces herself as a gift (I would purchase, she would do the labor). She thinks we can do these centerpieces for under 30 per table, but I'm just lost on how we could possibly do it. Would love ANY tips or experience if anyone's done them!
The centerpieces I like look this:
Example 1
Example 2
Example 3
I've found a relatively affordable hoop on amazon here...I'm not sure if it's possible to find cheaper but would love resources if anyone has them? I am also really unsure HOW we would actually attack these to a base securely without having to nail them in or something complicated....And then for flowers I've been looking at ling's moment, a box costs between 24 - 30 dollars but it looks like we'd need a box per centerpiece...so already the budget is kind of blown....
A lot of tutorials seem to use hula hoops but I'm a little wary...first, I can't find cheap hula hoops (like 5 or under per hoop?) anywhere online. Secondly I'm concerned it's too labor intensive for FMIL (stripping them, repainting, etc). And thirdly I'm concerned they are too light and will topple over...
So basically I'm just lost. Would love to hear from some expert DIYers on this whole idea.

I'm getting married next year and I'm worried about guests stealing my decorations, particularly centerpieces.
I'm a total DIY bride. I'm making all my own decorations, my own invitations, my own wedding favors, etc. and it's by no means a cheap venture.
Last month I attended a family member's wedding and was part of the clean-up crew afterward. To my total shock and surprise, I noticed one of the guests stay behind to take decorations off of the table she was sitting at and put them in a box to take home. It's my understanding that she did not have permission to do so. I started to wonder what I would do if it were my wedding.
I know most people would ask what I'm going to do with 15 centerpieces after I get married, but I was planning on selling what I don't want to keep to help another bride out and make some money back.
I guess my question is: how should I go about making sure guests don't take my decorations? Has anyone else ever encountered this issue?

Oops, I’m a covid bride...
A picnic wedding reception wasn’t my original ~vision~ but I’m rolling with the punches. Postponing our wedding has made us realize how expensive our original plan was, so we’re rethinking everything as we try to find a celebration that will fit our budget.
Side note: We‘re not planning to do this until the pandemic has calmed down. My inner bridezilla hates all the waiting but I’m not willing to risk anyone’s health.
THE VIBE
I’m going for “garden party” as opposed to “rustic farmhouse chic,” but I also want things to feel laid-back and easy
THE LOCATION
A public park in the middle of my city
THE TIME
11:00 am following the 10:00 am ceremony at our church
THE DETAILS
• The menu consists of brunch-y finger foods like fruit skewers and bagels, mimosas, and cupcakes for dessert
• To save on a DJ, we’ll replace music/dancing with lawn games and other activities (croquet, hula hoops, a wedding cake piñata, a photo scavenger hunt with prizes)
• Seating will consist of picnic blankets, with chairs/tables provided for those who are physically unable to sit comfortably on the ground
• Flip-flop sandals as party favors will give people the option to change out of their heels
• A Selfie Spot instead of a photo booth will save so much money it’s actually OBSCENE
WHERE I NEED HELP
• A timeline. Will guests eat and immediately leave if there’s no dancing? I‘m hoping that if we schedule the scavenger hunt prizes and the piñata for an hour or so after brunch is served, there will be something keeping everyone here.
• Seating logistics. For the original wedding, I created a seating chart (which is suuuuper necessary for this group) that had 8 people per table—which, in this case, means 8 people per picnic blanket. How big should each blanket be to comfortably accommodate 8 guests? I’m also providing a pillow for each guest to sit on...anybody know where to get like 60 pillows for real cheap? My mom is sewing pillowcases to help everything match.
• Decorations. I’m keeping these to a minimum: a couple of signs with directions, props and a backdrop for the Selfie Spot, and centerpieces. I’m planning to buy small wooden boxes I can put in the middle of each picnic blanket to hold table numbers and centerpieces; any ideas on where to get boxes like that? Suggestions for decorations I haven’t thought of?
• Set-up logistics. Someone needs to go set everything up the morning of the event and babysit everything while the ceremony is going on—it’s a public park, and while we’re allowed to reserve it for the wedding, the park doesn’t provide security to keep people away from our stuff. Has anyone done this before? I can’t ask my MOH because whoever is in charge of this will have to miss the wedding itself.
Sorry this post got so long. I love love love this stage of the planning process and now that I’m over the initial disappointment of postponing, I’m excited to start it all over again. Let me know if you have ideas/critiques/suggestions—I’m super open to brainstorming, I love to DIY, and my Pinterest app is OPEN!

Hey guys, I know I've posted on a number of posts, but I wanted to hopefully help give you some ideas.
1) When will it be safe to have a wedding? Both Moderna and Oxford trials conclude this month, with their release of their findings to be announced in September. That means next month, we could very well have a date as to when the vaccines will be released to the general public around the world. If I were you, use this as a time to assess the situation and decide what to do from there. If earlier statements of a December vaccine release date are correct, and the vaccines take 1-2 months to build antibodies and T-cells in the body, you're looking at around a February or March for this to start lifting. But Disclaimer: I ain't a doctor, please read credible news sources and be informed of your own volition.
2) How can I prepare if I need to move the date again? Build your Plan B, C, D or X if need be. Communicate to your vendors. Be flexible, and be safe. But you don't need to "start all over": first ask the venue for the next date that works, as well as the rest of your vendors. Same wedding, different date - just don't print your date all over the place and you'll be fine. If anyone gives you crap, start putting everything in writing with delivery confirmation (or email). No more verbal communication - just in case you need to lawyer up.
3) I really want to try on wedding dresses, but, pandemic? There's SEVERAL try-on dress shops that ship to your home. Even better? There's a lot of out-of-work seamstresses, tailors, and costume designers right now. Ever wanted a dress that's ACTUALLY custom made? No, I mean for real, and ACTUAL custom dress? Well, here's your chance. Contact your local tailors and seamstresses. Contact your local film commission branch to see if they have any recommendations. If you're in NYC or LA pretty sure calling the Garment/Fashion district stores will lead you to some wonderful recommendations. As always, make sure you see a portfolio of your designer's work, you communicate your budget clearly, and ask them what a whip stitch is. If they don't know, hire someone else. Even a costume design graduate can do a "thrift flip" aka, take a dress base and tweak it to your style at a much lower cost with some great results.
4) This is horrible! I have more time to wait I don't know what to do with myself! Yah, I feel you. I live in Florida, and I wanted it to be cold (aka, not feeling the makeup melt off my face). The date we had in mind was important to us but, oh well that's how the cookie crumbles and it turns out our new date will be even cuter, so it all worked out. My December wedding is now a March wedding* (pending COVID), so now I have extra time to... oh god..
PLAN MORE SHINY THINGS! :D
-I decided to learn how to use epoxy resin to make badass escort cards for really cheap.
-I decided to put more energy and effort into the table settings, which I wouldn't have done before.
-I decided I'll DIY my signs using a new technique for fun, which I wouldn't have been able to do.
-The fiance and I are taking more time to plan our honeymoon for whenever we can do it.
-We're making all of our centerpieces with silk flowers. Then it doesn't really matter what time of the year it is, silk flowers don't die and don't have "seasons". You don't even have to water them! :D
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So I encourage you to embrace the weird. Embrace the crazy that is these times. Think outside of the box. Throw away the "normal" and just go with the times. Don't settle for your dream wedding: push beyond it to surpass your expectations by stepping beyond the comfort zone of normlacy coz this ain't normal. At the end of the day it's going to be ok. Take advantage of this extra time to exchange ideas to make our weddings even more badassical and fabulous, everyone. Use the extra time to make your wedding even more incredible while you protect the lives of those you love.
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As a final note, to those who absolutely have to get married now for reasons (immigration, army, etc hopefully you get what I mean): My heart goes out to you and I'm sending you ALL the virtual hugs. I really hope some of my suggestions might help some of y'all. Be safe, and hang in there. <3 Let me know what you think, or if you ave any tips as well for those navigating these times!

Hello! I hope other brides find this helpful!
But first... PICTURES!
Location: San Gabriel, Pasadena & Westminister, CA
Guests: 250
Budgeted: $35,000
Spent: $32,959
Our wedding was a Chinese/Vietnamese-American Catholic wedding. My husband and I paid for the wedding out of our own pockets. It took us about 2 years to plan and save for the wedding. There were a lot of DIYs to cut costs and help from family and friends setting everything up.
Now onto the details!
Florals: $294

• Bouquets: $129
  • We bought fresh wholesale flowers from the Flower District in DTLA. My husband and I woke up early in the morning to get the best picks and spent a couple of hours putting it together the day before the wedding. This made for great bonding time. In total we made four bridesmaid/groomswomen bouquets, a small one for the flower girl, the groom's boutineer, the bridal bouquet and flowers for the wedding cake. Our flowers were actually more expensive because it was so close to Valentine's Day. The ribbons and pins were from Michael's and Ann linens. Always use coupons!
• Florals for the church alter: $130
  • We ordered two huge flower baskets for the church alter from the Flower District. We picked it up the day before the wedding since they didn't deliver.
• Boutineers (family): $36
  • Bought ~50 ribbon flower pins from AliExpress for family, aunts and uncles. It's an Asian thing.

Ceremony (Catholic Church): $700

• Church Donation: $500
  • This is pretty much the rental fee.
• Coordinator for rehearsal: $50
• Pianist: $150
  • He was actually the church's pianist so he knew exactly what to do.

Tea Ceremony: $479

• Vu Quy signage + Floral Arch (rental): $75
  • This is a sign for wedding day. "Vu Quy" is the term used to signify leaving the house for the husband, and this sign is usually used at the bride's side of the wedding.
• Incense Set (rental): $15
• Double Happiness Paper Cups: $11
  • We didn't want to share the same tea cup among 20+ relatives
• Roasted Pig: $280
• Wine: $58
  • We bought wholesale from a winery
• Wedding Trays (rental): $40
  • To put the gifts for the bride's family. The gifts included wine, fruit, teas and herbs (provided by groom's parents).

Reception: $18,253

• Food/Venue: $13,984
  • Asian banquets charge by the table and each table seats 10 guests--we had 25 round tables + Sweetheart table. The venue included the wedding cake, hors d'oeuvre during cocktail hour, a 9-course family style meal per table and soda. We also paid for special meals for guests that had dietary restrictions and our vendors (MC + Photo/Video team). We had the place from 3PM for set up till 11PM. The venue cleaned everything themselves.
  • Going with an asian banquet made everything so much easier. It's affordable and it includes everything like tables, chair, table clothes, glassware, plates, lighting and etc.
• Open Bar: $1,856
  • Early on in the wedding planning, my husband and I knew we wanted an open bar cuz a majority of our guests love to drink. One of the deciding factors of our reception banquet was that they had an open bar option in the package. This meant one less vendor for me to worry about. Other banquet halls that we checked out were BYOB/hire your own bartenders. We paid for four hours of the premium menu. They were also very VERY generous with the alcohol so everyone had a blast. They also included virgin drink menu for kids. After doing the math, if each guest had at least one drink, it'll be $7 per head. So it was worth it in my opinion. And at the end of the night, everyone had enough liquid courage to get onto the dance floor.
• Emcee + Tip: $550
  • We hired an MC that spoke Cantonese/Mandarin. She was the MC of a previous wedding we attended. She had a great presence and knew how to keep the crowd going with games.
• DJ: $619
  • The DJ was actually the manageson of the owner so we got a discount when we hired him.
• Photobooth: $500
  • We rented a photobooth for four hours. The package included unlimited use, custom artwork/templates, onsite attendant, CD/cloud download of all photos, props and delivery/setup/tear down.
• Sweetheart Table Decor: $173
  • This included flower row from Aliexpress, candles from Ikea, various sizes of vases from Dollar Tree, Ikea and Burlington Coat Factory.
• Table Center Piece: $291
  • These were completely DIY and we made 25 of these. I bought candle holders and glass bowl from Dollar Tree, fake flowers from AliExpress and glued them all together. As much as I love fresh flowers, I couldn't bring myself to spend thousands on them for them to wilt in a couple of days. It's been a couple of months and I still see my centerpieces at my guests homes!
• Wedding favors: $205
  • I ordered 250 wedding favor boxes from AliExpress and put two ferror rochers into each. The ferror rochers were on sale at Costco. The downside was we had to fold all 250 boxes ourselves. This gave us something to do during those Netflix nights.
• Card box: $21
  • Since this was an Asian wedding, all our guests brought card gifts (e.g. checks, cash, giftcards).
• Sparklers: $28
  • I highly suggest doing an exit with sparklers. It made for awesome pictures/video.
• Cake topper: $35
  • My husband and I are into anime instead of ordering a typical take topper from Etsy, we opted to order a couple of bootleg Nendoroids off of AliExpress to customize figures that look like us.

Photography + Videography: $9,161

• Photography + Videography: $9,100
  • When my husband and I started planning our wedding, we agreed that if we were to splurge on anything, it'll be the photo/video. They were such a dream to work with. Everything went so smoothly because of them. They've worked with Asian weddings before so they knew the ins and out of our day/tradition. They'll tell me if I had a stray hair, if my husband had to move his hand an inch, or to fix my wedding dress. I have absolutely no regrets.
  • We paid for 14 hour coverage. It was a realllyyyy long day. I think there were about 8 of them with us the entire day.
  • We also paid extra to have them compile a 3-4min video of the wedding day. This was a great idea because instead of going through 14 hours of footage from multiple cameras, we already have a video to look back on to relive this special day.
• City Hall Permit: $61
  • Some places require a permit for wedding photos. Double check yours!!

Attire: $2,228

• Wedding Dress: $1,098
  • I ultimately decided to rent my dress instead of purchasing it. The rental included the wedding dress (obviously), alterations (two sessions), veil, earrings, hair accessories and dry cleaning. My wedding dress was Perla by Kitty Chen (MSRP ~$2.3k).
• Bride's Shoes + Inserts: $97
  • I bought two pairs of Jewel Badgley Mischka that were both on sale/clearance ($65 + $26) at Nordstroms and Macys. One for the wedding day, and another shorter, more comfortable one for the evening. I highly recommend buying inserts ($6). I was standing, walking and dancing all day (14+hrs).
• Evening Dress + Alterations: $275
  • Something to change into since the wedding dress was so heavy. Plus I wanted to wear something super sparkly and glittery and gold. This was the best time to do it.
• Garter Belt: $3
  • I just bought a cheap one from AliExpress since it was gonna be thrown around in the evening anyway.
• Bridesmaid/Groomswomen dress: $208
  • I bought them the infinity dress so they can be creative and customize it to however they like. In the end, they all ended up looking the same anyway lol
• Grooms Suit + Alterations: $179
  • From the Fashion District in DTLA. This includes shirt, jacket, pants, tie and vest.
• Groom's Shoes: $85
• Get Ready Pajamas: $58
  • I bought 6 satin pairs from AliExpress. Funny story, the pants tore on the butt area while taking jumping pictures. It just couldn't contain this booty. I recommend buying something stretchy.
• Traditional Vietnamese Outfit- Bride (rental): $75
  • Includes the traditional hat, alterations, and cleaning fee
• Traditional Vietnamese Outfit- Groom (rental): $35
  • My husband actually rented the groomsmen style. He didn't like the groom's style or else it would have been $75.
• Flower Girl Dress: $47
• Flower Girl Basket + Ring Pillow/box: $29
• Ring Bearer Suit: $22

Makeup + Hair: $1,235

• Makeup + Hair Trial: $130
• Makeup + Hair + Tip: $865
  • There were two MUAs. This includes bride + five other girls. We started getting ready around 4:30AM till around 9:30AM.
• Nails: $155
  • I paid for my mom and I's nails. It was our first time getting mani professionally done so it was such a treat.
• Hair Extensions: $85
  • I have pretty thin hair so I needed the extra volume.

Misc: $609

• Wedding Invitation + Postage: $256
• Marriage Certificate: $91
  • for California!
• Sheraton - Junior Suite: $262
  • I actually used my Chase points for this. The bridesmaids and I slept overnight in the room. We also rented this suite to get our hair and makeup done.

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Thank you if you've made it this far! Feel free to ask questions, if any :)

Hey y’all! Like most other recappers, these were super helpful when planning my wedding and I’d like to pay it forward! This is going to be kind of long because, well, I don’t have any plans for the rest of the weekend…or the year…Feel free to ask me any questions or advice!
Engagement length: 14 months
Location: Houston, TX
General Date: Saturday evening in March
Guest Count: 160 invited (50% out of state), 130 RSVP’ed Yes, 120 Attended (no kids except 1 ring bearer)
Wedding Party: 8 bridesmaids, 8 groomsmen, 2 ushers, 1 ring bearer
Total Budget / Actual Spend: $52k / $53k
US AS AN (INTERRACIAL) COUPLE:
We both work for the same company and met about 4 years ago in North Dakota. We are an interracial couple (I’m Chinese American, he’s….well, Midwestern) and that came with its own challenges during the wedding planning - we wanted a mostly American wedding but also wanted to include some Chinese cultural touches! My parents are not that traditional, so we didn’t have a tea ceremony, but here are some of the Chinese elements we included:

• One of our ceremony readings was from my 90-year-old grandfather, who lives in Nanjing and wasn’t able to attend. He wrote us a letter with marriage advice (he’s still married to my grandma today!) and we translated it into English. One of my ushers is bilingual and he first read it in Chinese, and then in English. Some people told me they cried at the Chinese part and they didn’t even understand it! So sweet and funny.
• I changed into a red qipao (traditional Chinese dress) during the cocktail hour. I changed back into my white dress for the reception…but then I couldn’t breathe during dinner (oops) so went right back into the qipao!
• We gave away cute little red boxes filled with Ferrero Rochers and Hershey kisses as a wedding favor. The red boxes are laser-cut with the Chinese symbol for luck and a cartoon couple - pretty cute!

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BUDGET BREAKDOWN
Venue ($8,500)
We picked a romantic, Italian-style event venue that’s pretty well-known in Houston. I had wanted to go more towards the rustic/farmhouse type wedding (more DIY opportunities!) but my husband wanted something different from the other weddings he’s been to. This price includes the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception spaces; valet parking; tables, chairs and basic linens; security guard; tax and service fee.
Food and Drink ($15,500)
Our venue has an in-house chef for appetizers and dinner, so we only had to shop around for desserts.

• Cocktail Hour Appetizers ($1,260 / $10 per guest) We had two kinds of passed appetizers during the cocktail hour: bacon wrapped scallops and beef crostini. Both were delicious!
• Dinner ($10,300 / $85 per guest + $280 / $35 per vendor) For the soup course, we had a crab and roasted corn chowder - got SO many rave reviews! For the entree, we served ribeye with a side of roasted vegetables and fusilli pasta with pesto. We decided to go with sit-down because it was the same price as buffet style (although they threw in a couple of perks if you chose buffet). Warning if you go with steak: you can’t specify how it gets cooked for every guest! I personally want my steak mooing (which they allowed for bride and groom), but we had to go with medium for the guests to get a balance between the rare-steak eaters and the BRICK eaters.
• Desserts ($725) We went with a traditional 3-tier cake (marbled cake with buttercream frosting) for $400, or $4 per slice. This was a steal - we got a discount for going with a preferred vendor at our venue! For the groom’s cake we went with mini pies - apple, strawberry rhubarb, buttercream and key lime. They were a HUGE hit and I loved supporting a small business - a one-woman operation who did a marvelous job with both the pies and the display! She gave us a free tasting of 6 different flavors, too! Each mini pie was $3.
• Drinks ($30 per guest) We did an open bar with champagne toast included - I was annoyed at first because so much of my family and friends don’t drink, but I’m glad I didn’t have to worry about running out of alcohol or running up an even higher tab!

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Florals and Decor ($3,850)
I was not very picky about any part of the florals because I trust the professionals and know nothing about flowers myself. They turned out great - we chose a few images we liked on Pinterest and our florist made it happen!

• Bouquets ($185 for bride; $45 per bridesmaid; $8-15 for corsages and boutonnieres) We re-used the bridesmaid bouquets on the cake table and my bouquet at the sweetheart table.
• Ceremony florals ($400 for arch)
• Reception florals ($55 - $150 per centerpiece) We went with tall centerpieces (that were also used in the ceremony), short centerpieces and floating candle centerpieces to give some variety.
• Reception decor (DIY) ($100) We DIY’ed the seating chart (designed on Canva for free and put in one of my mom’s large picture frames) and signs (designed on Canva, printed on cardstock and put in floating frames found at HomeGoods). We also made some signs listing the pie flavors. Finally, we found these awesome light-up marquee letters on Amazon with our initials and put them on the sweetheart table!
• Cocktail hour decor (DIY) ($250) We bought 36 floating candles from Yummi Candles online. Highly recommend - they came in a safely packed box and are already sorted to 3 different heights! I then got some faux lamb’s ear wreaths on sale from Hobby Lobby to surround the candles. We used the remaining candles in the reception. Best of all, we also used them as centerpieces for the rehearsal dinner the night before.

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Music ($3,500 including $400 stage rental)
We are big live music fans, so having a live band was important to us. However, I will say if you’re on a budget, this is one thing you really don’t need. Most of the weddings I’ve been to have had DJs and they were still a blast. But….THE BAND WAS AMAZING. They also did a jazz trio for the cocktail hour and set up the sound system/microphones for our ceremony at an additional cost.
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Photo/Video ($4,350 total / $2,000 photo / $2,000 video / $350 photo booth)
LOVED our photographer. We had used a friend for engagement photos, so they let me replace that part of the package with bridal portraits instead! Highly recommend doing portraits ahead of time if you’re on a tight schedule the day of the wedding; got a lot more pictures of my dress and the venue beforehand so I was less stressed the day of. I also timed my hair and makeup trial for the same day as the portraits.
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Gifts ($2,000)

• Bridesmaid proposals ($100) I did little boxes with a personalized puzzle, chocolates and a card. In retrospect, it was cute and appreciated but THIS WAS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. Pinterest strikes again…
• Bridesmaid gifts ($35 each) I bought earrings from Olive + Piper for all my bridesmaids (optional to wear for the wedding). I kept the gifts small because I paid for their dresses, hair and makeup.
• Groomsmen/usher gifts ($100 each) All the groomsmen and ushers received a pair of black Jordans to wear for the wedding and keep. At first I was aghast at the groomsmen wearing sneakers, but…they actually looked pretty awesome - and they look like formal black shoes from far away!
• Officiant/Ring Bearer gifts ($150 total)

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Stationery ($1,250)

• Save-the-Dates (Minted / $250 inc. stamps)
• Invitations (Minted / $450 inc. stamps)
• Thank You notes (Amazon / $50 inc. stamps)
• Programs (Canva + Vistaprint / $150)
• Menus (Canva + Vistaprint / $150)
• Guestbook (Etsy / $150) I got a wooden alternative guestbook to hang on our wall. It’s a map of the US and highlights the two states we came from, with a dotted line that connects them. We didn’t intend it, but most people signed near wherever they’re from on the map (which made for some awkward clumps, but we liked it!)
• Vow books (Etsy / $50) I splurged and got personalized fabric vow books from Etsy. There are enough pages that we’ll be writing a new page for every anniversary :)

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Attire ($6,000)

• Wedding dress ($2,000 dress / $400 alterations) My dress was from Essence of Australia. I had bought it thinking I could make it strapless, but the whole open-back-means-no-strapless concept went right over my head. My seamstress was amazing and able to thin the straps out to look more delicate, but in the end I wish I had bought a dress that I would’ve loved without any significant adjustments!
• Groom’s tux ($250) Groom and groomsmen all rented from The Black Tux, which was perfect since they’re all over the country. They had them shipped to our apartment and we handed everything out during the rehearsal. Husband loved his so much that when they offered a discount to just purchase the thing instead of returning it, he took it!
• Bridesmaid dresses ($60 per dress) Maid of honor got her dress from BHLDN. We got super lucky and bought the floor sample because it was the only one left - ended up being $70 instead of $200 and looked good as new after dry-cleaning. I got everyone else’s dresses from Lulu’s with a 20% discount. TIP: If you buy from Lulu’s and want them all the same color, make sure you email customer service and buy the dresses all at once. Their dyes can change slightly between batches. I got lucky, but be careful!
• Hair and makeup ($300 bride / $150 bridesmaids) It was so fun to get dolled up together on the day of! I got Chick Fil A catering for us and brought some champagne.
• Shoes ($50) I’m the same height as my husband, so got the sparkly Kate Spade Keds. THEY RUN LARGE and I have skinny feet so I had to buy thick socks to make them fit.
• Wedding bands ($1,500 total) I went with local jeweler and husband went with Costco.
• Other jewelry ($30) I bought earrings on sale from Macy’s for $13 and hair pins from Amazon for $15. Did not think these were things worth splurging on!

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Day-of Coordinator ($1,000)
Rehearsal Dinner ($5,000)
We had about 60 people attend because we invited the wedding party and their dates, plus a lot of out-of-town guests. We held it at a brewery, so we served BBQ for dinner and opened up the event to all other guests after dinner to enjoy beers outside!
After-party ($1,000)
Because our venue had such restrictive timing, we decided to move the party to a casual bar down the street. We covered the tab here as well.
Tips ($600 total)
This doesn't include the required gratuity for both the wedding and rehearsal dinner venues. I gave my MOH's boyfriend a bunch of envelopes with each vendor's name so he could hand them out during the wedding. Delegate!
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WHAT WENT WELL

• The event was very well-coordinated and nothing really went wrong during. The staff were all amazing and made everything flow seamlessly! For those of your struggling with deciding on a Day-Of Coordinator, DO IT. I didn't have to do a thing but enjoy the wedding. So worth it.
• Also...we came really close to budget and I'm proud of sticking to it. We had to sacrifice a few things along the way because some costs came up that we hadn't anticipated. But overall, it added up as expected!

WHAT DIDN’T GO WELL / SHOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY

• I was stressed throughout the planning process because my venue was so restrictive on time. They only gave us 2 hours before the ceremony in the dressing room, and then 4.5 hours for the ceremony, cocktail hour and reception combined. Every additional hour for the wedding would have been $2,500. I would have preferred a venue that gives you all day to set up, relax, get ready, etc. instead.
• It also rained during the last 10 minutes of the cocktail hour, so everyone went to the reception early. That was minor but still a bummer, since that area was my favorite part of the venue!
• Finally, looking through photos there were a lot of shots that I forgot to include on my shot list. We didn't get pictures of the invitations, vow books, etc. I was probably too "chill" and just let the photographers do their thing.
• Make sure you talk to your venue about leftovers. We had a lot of mini pies leftover and they somehow didn't make it into our packed car at the end of the night...so sad!

WHAT I DIDN’T NEED, IN HINDSIGHT

• Hotel blocks....I was extra and reserved FOUR hotel blocks. About 5 rooms total were booked between the 4. Yep, everyone went with Airbnb or staying with friends. I used Kleinfeld hotel blocks (they were helpful but my friend said their hotel rates aren't as good as direct communication with the hotel) and made sure to do courtesy blocks, so there wasn't much impact anyway.
• Menus and programs - everyone says this and it's true. But it was pretty cheap since I designed my own!
• Favors. Only did these because my mom insisted. SO many people didn't take them! I ate chocolate for weeks though...that was a plus :)
• Bridesmaid proposals - cute but don't stress about it! My bridesmaids would have been happy with a phone call or brunch, I think!
• Ceremony arch...it was a nice touch but nobody would've cared if it wasn't there.
• We didn't have a formal sendoff in order to save time, and we had an afterparty planned anyway. I didn't miss it at all!

First, Pictures!
This is a wedding I planned for my wife. She was the stereotypical bride that always dreamed of a big fancy wedding, but she had no interest in planning it. I was the stereotypical bride that did 99% of the planning, because I had no interest in a wedding for myself but I loved researching and planning and I wanted my wife to be happy. I know a lot of hetero couples have issues with this labor imbalance, but for us it worked perfectly.

Summary

• Date & Location: 2/8/20 in Albuquerque, NM
• Length of relationship/engagement: Engaged for 6 months, together for…8 years? Depends how you count.
• Estimated budget: 20k
• Final cost: 22k including the welcome evening and rehearsal lunch. Paid mostly by my father, although we could have swung it ourselves.
• invited: 120 ish
• RSVP yes: 65, 63 attended. About 98% of the people we invited were from out of town and couldn’t make it. Her family also has some born-again Christians who refused to attend.

Costs

Venue: $500

Our venue was a historic hotel downtown. We had the welcome evening, the ceremony and the reception here. A lot of our guests stayed at the hotel and commented on how convenient it was for them.
Ceremony Fee: $500 for the ceremony space. We picked the venue specifically for this ceremony space which isn’t available in the evenings, which forced us to have an afternoon ceremony. Worth it.
Reception Venue: fee was waived because we met the minimum spend!

Food & Drinks: $10.5k

$70 per adult, which included a buffet, beewine/soft drinks, and passed appetizers for 1 hour (this price doesn’t include taxes etc). The total for the food including taxes was $6,288.
We hosted a full bar for the whole night in addition to this package, which came out to $3,468.
Dessert: We brought in gelato from Frost for $810. Their standard package feeds 200 people, so at the end of the night there was a TON of leftovers. They packed it up into pint containers for us and held it at their local store for us to pick up the next day. We hosted a lovely post-wedding ice cream social and gave it all away to local friends.

Attire: $1.5k

My attire: $77 I wasn’t too particular about my dress, so I just kind of bought the first dress that I liked (Lulus Awaken My Love in Grey). After I bought it I got a little obsessed and made this pinterest board featuring this dress as a wedding dress.
My alterations: $80 I got it taken in to tea length and fixed the sleeves to fit better.
My accessories: $180 This includes a veil, barefoot sandals, hair vine, and gaffers tape I used as a bra. I also wore a gold locket that my mother gave me when I was a teenager.
Wife’s attire: $259 She ordered a dress from RenzRags which was kind of a hot mess. The bodice was too small and the skirt looked cheap so she ordered a tulle skirt to go over it and a shaper to squeeze her torso. It was a little stressful, but in the end it all worked out.
Wife’s alterations: $60 To alter the dress mentioned above.
Wife’s accessories: $180 She bought nice jewelry for all her body piercings and a crystal flower crown.
Rings: $612 Her ring is a dainty 14k white gold ring with a pink moissanite which I bought on etsy. My ring is a plain 14k gold band that I found while digging in the garden a few years back. They match our personalities pretty well.

Decor: $1.6k

Florals: $877 We went full DIY on the florals. This is a combination of plastic flowers from Michaels, foam roses from Amazon, Sola wood flowers, artificial boutonnieres and flower crowns from Etsy, and 200 feet of real green garlands from Sam’s Club. The garlands were $400 and well worth it; there was enough for all the tables in the reception and to decorate the chairs for the ceremony.
Non-florals at ceremony: $417 Most of this is from the $278 wagon we bought for our young son to ride down the aisle. We also bought bubbles and a round arch.
Non-florals at cocktail hour: $54 The hotel was pretty enough, we just put up a schedule sign so people would know what’s going on. We labeled it “The Gay Agenda” and everyone loved it.
Non-florals at reception: $279 We went with long farmhouse tables so the centerpieces had to be simple. I found some cheap geometric candle holders on amazon, put some flickering LED candles in them, and arranged them around the garlands on the table. There were also a lot of leftover sola wood flowers so we arranged them in the garlands too.

Stationery: $400

Save-the-dates/Programs./Menus: $0 we skipped all of these: save-the-dates because of our short engagement (we just sent out our invitations reallllly early), programs because we had a super short ceremony, and menus because we had a buffet. I don’t think anyone missed them.
Invitations + postage: $245 We just bought something off of Minted. We ended up with like 50 extra invitations somehow, so we probably could have spent a lot less here.
Thank you cards + postage: $100 Again, just something cute from Minted.
Escort cards: $82 Another DIY. We went with named tables, so I bought some nice tree illustrations from Etsy for table cards, made a seating chart spreadsheet that generated the escort cards for me, and printed out the escort cards on some nice cardstock. This seemed like a good idea until I was cutting out the escort cards at 1 AM two days before the wedding. I don’t recommend this unless you have a way to cut paper in bulk.

Other Vendors: 3.8k

Coordinator: $0 The venue includes a venue coordinator and I think that was all we needed. I wasn’t super stoked about the whole wedding thing, but I love planning things. I think if we had an event coordinator I would’ve enjoyed the day less.
Music: $1371 We hired a string duo for the ceremony and a DJ for the reception. I’m really glad we got the string musicians.
Photographer: $1882 This includes 7 hours of shooting, with a second shooter for about 5 of those hours.
Hair Stylist: $8 We didn’t want anything super fancy, so my sister-in-law did both of our hair. The only thing I had to buy was some hair wax (which I will probably never use again). She did a great job!
Make-up Artist (+ trial): 250 This includes two trials and one day-of face. My wife found a local mua who came out and did a trial for us both. I ended up hating it even though she did a great job, so I did my own makeup day-of along with our brides’ maids.
Officiant: $0 Our lovely friend of 10+ years did the ceremony for us as a wedding gift.
Tips: $300 I took out this much for tips and I’m sure it all went to that, but I couldn’t tell you who got what.

Gifts: $150

Wedding party gifts: $150 for bridesmaids boxes. Everyone also got sweet thank-you cards.

Additional Events: 3.7k

Rehearsal Lunch: $1000? I got a reservation at a cafe down the street from the venue and we just all walked over after the rehearsal. I wanted to pay for this, but my dad got to the check before me so I have no idea how much we spent.
Welcome Party: 2.7k Since everyone was coming from out of town, we had a little cocktail party at the venue the night before.

Additional Info

Timeline

We fell in love with this ceremony space but it was only available before 2 PM, and my wife really wanted to have the standard dinner & dancing reception, so our timeline was a little non-traditional:
1:30 Ceremony (we put 1 on the invitations and one of her cousins still missed it, lol)
1:45 Receiving line into cocktail hour+
2-ish to 3:30 Cocktail Hour+
3:45 First dance and parent dances
4:00 Prayer and dinner (we had a buffet)
4:45 Speeches/Toasts, dance floor open
6:00 Dessert, more dancing
10:00 Late night Loteria to finish the night

What Went Well

Pretty much everything. I originally didn’t want a wedding, but in the end I’m glad my wife convinced me into it. I was worried about so much stuff not working out (like our last-minute welcome evening, wonky timeline, super-short ceremony, non-traditional dresses, the seating chart, the dance floor) but all of it turned out perfectly fine. I’m also really glad we played Loteria (mexican bingo) at the end of the night once the crowd had thinned out and everyone was very drunk. Her family plays it a lot at family gatherings so it was a nice way to bring the two sides of our family together!

Things I Would Have Changed

I definitely wouldn’t have DIY’ed the escort cards, it was so much work at the very last minute. We did have some trouble getting people to RSVP, but I think this was mainly cultural, so probably unavoidable (her family’s weddings are usually much more casual and folks just kind of show up).

I got married several years ago, and never really had any problems with my FMIL leading up to the wedding. But then again, she lived in another state, and I visited rarely. I'm also super into giving people the benefit of the doubt.
A few days before the wedding, she drives from her state to mine with her DS (my FBIL) and my FDH to "help" us get ready for the wedding, which was mostly DIY decorations at a beautiful venue that required little decor. I was just making centerpieces and floral arrangements for different areas of the venue, and I had a bunch of satin chair ties that needed to be ironed.
Anyway, FMIL and my mom helped with the ironing, which was great. But FDH and I were still busy making things for decor and favors. My FDH does leather work and was making some favors using his craft. He was also finishing our guestbook, totally handmade.
Well, FMIL and FBIL wanted to go do touristy things since they ... hadn't been here before? No, they'd been here before. FMIL had 2 sons go to college out here, including my FDH who told me they'd been here before. Meanwhile, my family was keen as koolaid to hang out at my apartment and either help or just chill--and none of them had ever been here before (I moved here from my family's home state a few years prior). But they didn't mind that I wasn't taking them around to see the sights and whatever.
Well, FMIL and FBIL wanting to go out and do stuff would have been fine, but it's the fact that they wanted my FDH to take then out as if they didn't have a car, Google Maps, smartphones, or freaking brains. So they started off pissy because they couldn't get what they wanted.
Instead of a bridal shower or bachelorette party, I decided to treat my entire bridal party, including my mom and FMIL to a mani-pedi party at a local salon. Everyone was so pleasantly surprised by the gift, all except FMIL who decided she needed french tips (I wasn't even getting french tips, and I was the bride). She said she would cover the difference, but it pretty well felt like my gift wasn't good enough for her. It also confused me greatly since she was so proud about how she had found her outfit for the wedding so cheap at a thrift store (and it looked like it).
We (me and FDH) took the entire family out to a moderately nice restaurant for the rehearsal dinner. It was my M&D, my Brother, FMIL, 2 FBILs, one FSL (wife of one of the BILs), so 9 people altogether, and yes, we paid for everyone. Neither of our families are particularly well off so we wanted to make sure this long distance trip wasn't going to cost them a ton. Nothing went wrong at dinner, but its relevant to the story as you'll understand later.
FF to the day of the wedding. My family, my FDH, FMIL and FBIL head down to the venue to decorate and get ready. My hair and makeup pros arrive and my mom had opted to get her hair and makeup done (which I had mentioned several months before the wedding as an option for my bridesmaids and mom and FMIL). Only my mom and MOH took me up on it, so I let the pros know so as to book an appropriate amount of time. Well, MIL gets in there, asks to use the stylists curling iron, then ends up weaseling her way into getting her hair done for free. Good grief. I made sure to tip them extra, just another cost I had to bear.
I had a no-phones policy once the ceremony started, and it applied to the reception, too. This is because I was paying professional photographers to shoot my wedding photos and didn't want people getting in the way, or having shots with people holding up phones. Do you think FMIL gave a damn? Nope. FSIL also disregarded the policy. Turned out great in photos. Not!
Here's where things get really good.
1) I made the mistake of getting FDH to work with his mom to choose song for Mother-Son dance. She chose a song that, I swear to god, was 10 minutes long. After the 3-minute intro, it should have just been over, but it went on for many awkward minutes. My second mistake was not screening the song title FDH sent me--turned out he just told his mom to pick. It wouldn't have been so awkward if not for the fact that FDH's dad passed away just over a year prior, and now-MIL was Jocasta-ing the heck out of this dance and crying practically the whole time (FDH is spitting image of his dad when he was that age).
2) At the end of dinner, we had the toasts and speeches. There were 6 total speeches, one from my now-MIL. It was by far the longest. And all about her and how sad she was that her husband couldn't be here, and so on. We did not ignore the fact that now-DH's dad wasn't physically present. We had his photo set up on a table next to other late loved ones with lanterns lit next to them to signify their spiritual presence. But no, she needed to make sure everyone there knew what she was going through--couldn't let us have our happy day without being a total downer.
3) After the cake cutting (and face smushing), I head back to the bridal suite to get cake off my face, and my now-MIL is hot on my heels for some damn reason, so hot in fact that she STEPS on the back of my dress. The reason she had to get back to the bridal suite in such a hurry? To put on chapstick. WTF?
4) This is the real kicker. I head over to the soda bar to get another beverage and I see my mom coming toward me with a box of decor and centerpieces. I was like, "mom, what are you doing, it's still early?" She was like, "I just wanted to get some before she took them all." Because my mom was planning to make a nice memento box for me with some of the decor. And my MIL was taking everything down, boxing it, and loading it into her car. And I suddenly understood why it seemed like people were leaving so early. They thought it was winding down, or over. We still had a car coming and wanted to have a bubbles sendoff. I was so mad, I told my DH and started crying. My mom saw I was upset and went and confront MIL, which was AMAZING and to this day I am so honored and proud by what she did because my mom does NOT stand up to people like that--but for her daughter on her wedding day, she was momma bear. I know it couldn't have been easy for her, but she went at it.
MIL had been taking the decorations because she wanted to use them at our reception back where she lived, which we were having in 2 days. She supposedly wanted to leave early in the morning to make the drive in one day. But the reality was she had dropped off a prescription to be filled that day that she had to pick up the next day, amd the pharmacy didn't open till 9am, so they weren't really going to leave early at all. In fact, theyvwould have had plenty of time to come collect the decorations from my apartment on their way to the pharmacy.
Anyway, my mom's comments immediately angered MIL, who is always the victim, so she stormed over to her car with GC BIL, and the brought the boxes back over and dropped them on the bar. Didn't even put anything back, just left in a huff. Didn't even say bye, didn't participate in the sendoff. It was all about them.
The next day as DH and I cleaned up our apartment from the vast wedding array and packed for our trip to his moms location, we saw a Facebook post from GC BIL saying something to the effect of how he didn't even feel wanted and how it sucked how he and his mom were treated when it was basically her vacation. I was like, dayum, sorry I didn't do a better job of planning my wedding around your vacation! Also, GC BIL was a groomsman--he was IN the wedding. After all we had done to make sure they were included and cared about, they make themselves into victims. It was OUR day, not theirs!!!
When we arrived two days after the wedding at their location, I didn't even want to go to her house. MIL had to pick us up from the airport though, of course with GC BIL on board. Fortunately hubby's car was still at his mom's house from when he picked them up in a rental (which he paid for) to bring them to the wedding. We got his car, went to a hotel, and honeymooned for the weekend with the exception of having to be at his mom's reception (which was basically all her friends). DH was great, he took us to a beautiful park instead having to visit at MILs house. We literally only interacted with them when they picked us up at the airport and at the reception. On the car ride from the airport, neither BIL nor MIL made any apology. I talked bare minimum.
So after she mucked up our actual wedding by making people think it was over, she didn't even end up bringing the decorations which were the cause of the mucking-up, and it made no difference to the reception.
That's all for the wedding story. I've got others I'll share later. So glad I found this sub.

I hope I get all the formatting right.
Location: 4th largest city in the States. (Written this way to maintain some level anonymity. Sorry, search bar)
Length of Engagement: 11 months
PHOTOS

The good:

Everything. When people say your wedding will be the best day ever, believe them. It is so rewarding after months of planning to have all of your favorite people around just to celebrate the happiness you and your spouse bring each other. So much love. Also, we got married on Cinco de Cuatro. As big Arrested Development fans, we incorporated a handful of easter eggs.

The bad:

We had one major hiccup. Our venue is completely DIY, you get the space, and we wanted to have the ceremony and reception in the same room. This requires a room flip and meant we had to source people to flip the room. We scheduled a moving company to show up and flip the room during cocktail hour (wouldn’t need their truck, should be a quick 30min job they were paid their normal 2hr fee for). Time was verified with their management TWICE, but they still managed to show up at 3pm (needed them at 6pm) when I was trying to leave for first look photos and park their big moving truck in the middle of the venue parking lot. They said they could come back at the scheduled 6pm time, but would require 1.5X the agreed fee because it’s “after hours.” DOC came to the rescue. Shooed them away since they only get paid for doing the job, and was able to persuade the catering staff to help her flip the room during the cocktail hour. THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE A DOC. They think on their feet so you can dance away on yours.

The breakdown:

Budget $15,000 / Actual $17,800. The honeymoon, bachelor party, and bachelorette party are not included in this budget. Bride and groom paid for everything themselves. I’m sure there are several small, miscellaneous expenses missing, but these are the bulk of things. DON’T FORGET TIPS WHEN YOU BUDGET. Tips were forgotten expenses for us and probably what set us over the edge.
Venue: $3,100. Two room space, tables, chairs, portable bar.
Photog: $3,300 + $150 tip. 8rs photography w/ 2nd shooter (tip $100) and assistant (tip $50). Guest photos were very important to us. When looking for a photog, we started by searching Instagram for weddings and vendors that had been at our venue and then made a list of the photographers that worked those weddings. We selected or photographer because we loved that her portfolio showed the fun guest experiences at weddings and not just bride, groom, and detail shots. Sure the details are great, but you have a wedding to celebrate with the people so we wanted to remember the people too.
DOC: $500 + $200 tip. ALL DAY coordinator (tip $100) + assistant (tip $100). We found her through a local bride on reddit as a new coordinator (maybe 5 weddings when we booked), and oh-my-god what a relief. We had hiccups and she took care of them. I am very “type A,” so it was important to me to find someone that could handle my outline and get my vision, and she got it. I shared a cost-extracted version of my spreadsheet with the timeline, day-of to-do list, vendor list, seating chart, and my 30-pin-section (explained lower) so she knew what, where, and how everything should be/look.
Caterer: $2,200 + $400 tip. Buffet, 75 servings of beef & chicken fajitas, rice, beans, guac, queso, salsa, chips, tortillas. 2 servers for 5hrs + catering manager. Oh-my-god. These guys were FANTASTIC and our guests loved the food.
Bar drinks: $600 / Bartender: $150 + $100 tip. Beer & wine. Read stocking-the-bar below.
Entertainment (DJ): $850 + $100 tip.
Flowers: $600 DIY & real. 10 table centerpieces, 3 large extra arrangements, 6 cocktail tables, 1 bridal bouquet, 4 boutonnieres, 3 corsages. Read DIY flowers below.
Cake, Cookies, Ice Cream Sandwiches, Coffee: $425. Cake and cookies were from a well know local Mexican bakery. Ice cream sandwiches were from the grocery store. 2 Coffee urns from Amazon for $85.
Officiant: $250. We wanted a short, secular wedding ceremony with both Spanish and English. To avoid repeating everything in both languages, which conflicts the short part, we opted for transitions in Spanish. This meant we needed a reliable officiant fluent in both languages, which was surprisingly hard to find around here. After finding one, I drafted up the script and had my husband review the Spanish bits. We incorporated “How Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog,” and it turns out our officiant wasn’t a good reader. He also said “Groom, you may now seal your marriage with a kiss” when I wanted that statement to be read like we were both sealing the marriage, not addressed to the groom… cause you know, we don’t own each other. Nobody else noticed, but it didn’t make me feel too bad that we forgot to tip him.
Bride: $880. Dress $650 / Alterations $216 / Veil $14
Groom: $610 Suit. For Indochino, apparently we did this wrong. Regardless I’m super happy my husband has a suit that fits him well now, since at least he gets to re-wear his attire.
Hair & Makeup $500 +$40 tip. BRIDE ONLY. Hair trial $100, Makeup trial $100, Day of Hair $150 + $20 tip, Day of Makeup $150 + $20 tip. LOL, this was the biggest expense I did not factor in. WOW. $500 to make my head look good for 2 days (engagement photo & wedding day).
Extras: Linens $160, Stationary $170, Décor $900, Rings $700, Welcome Dinner $230. Haven’t done it yet, but we’re hoping to sell the linens, décor, and misc stuff on Facebook/Craigslist to recoup some costs. The goal is to get 50% of what we spent back, but realistically we’ll probably get closer to 25%.

Guest Breakdown

Invited: 85. 69 Adults / 16 Kids. 37 Local / 48 Out of town. 52 Friends / 33 Family. RSVP: 72 Yes / 13 No. Attended: 65. We had one family of 4 tell us the day of the wedding by means of facebook wall post they couldn’t make it eyeroll, one single tell us the day before, and one couple no-showed.
We were really shocked that of the 31 households that RSVP’d yes, only 17 sent a gift or card. We did indicate on our wedding website something cheesy like “your presence is present enough,” but really didn’t expect a 45% non-acknowledgment rate. Just an interesting stat on cards and gifts received that I thought I would share since I haven’t seen it much before. YMMV.

Planning

TBH, I did the majority of planning with input from my husband periodically. I scoured /weddingplanning for information and tips throughout the entire wedding process, so I felt it was only necessary to give back.
Inspiration came from Pinterest and vendors’ Instagram feeds. I also listened to a few choice episodes of the Bridechilla podcast, where I learned the neat trick of how to use Pinterest effectively. Go find that episode and give it a listen. Basic idea is this:
Pin a ton of stuff to your wedding planning board, then go back and make a section within the board that is limited to 30 pins. Using your motherload wedding planning board, look for similarities in all the stuff you pin and select what is most relevant to your overall theme. This means, pick one cake design, one centerpiece, one bouquet, one color pallet, and whatever other pins of inspiration fit in that 30-pin section. This will help you establish a cohesive wedding vibe and dissuade you from changing your mind too many times & wasting money. Once you have your 30-pin board, don’t search Pinterest anymore for any other stuff. My 30-pin board
For the planning aspect of things, I used Trello for tasks and scheduling. I liked being able to drag items over to the “complete” card (or “f-it-bucket” card) or see what items we were late on. It was also a great tool to use with my husband to keep assigned tasks on track, he is good with lists so it was easy to show him the list and he would take care the non-design/choice things.
The real motherload of information was stored in a 30 tab+ Google Sheets that my husband and I shared. This SPREADSHEET has a tab for each vendor to compare different businesses, quotes, offerings, notes. There were also tabs for timelines, budget, alcohol estimates, guest list, seating chart, vendor tipping, and everything in between.
Aside from the typical logistics of planning, we opted for no-bridal party to limit stress, save money (for us as well as potential bridal party), limit stress, avoid hurt feelings (for us as well as potential bridal party), ohh and limit stress. Overall win-win for everyone involved. We could plan things at our own pace w/o coordinating with anyone else (besides vendors), and friends and family could just show up and enjoy the night w/o pressure.

Stocking the Bar:

We decided we would rather have too much than not enough.. even if it’s way too much. I am a big red wine drinker, while my husband prefers beer. We “splurged” on the red wine when our local grocery store was offering a 20% discount for buying 6+ bottles. White wine was a tested favorite from Trader Joes. In retrospect, e could have bought the back up red wine favorite from TJ as well for $6 a bottle and wouldn’t have batted an eye. At the same time, I’m not complaining about having a stockpile of a tasty red leftover. Beer selections were all the my husband’s favorites for relatively light/heavy summer craft beer and light generic domestic. He went through the leftover beer without complaints.
Assumptions: 10% of drinking age guests will not consume alcohol. Two drinks for the first hour & one for each additional hour. 4 hours of bar service. 59 total drinking age guests / 6 guests not drinking / 53 guests drinking
Servings: 5 per person / 265 total + 25% extra = 331
Drink breakdown: $600 white wine: 20%; 14 x bottles; $6ea budget; 0 leftover. red wine: 30%; 20 x bottles; $13ea budget; 8 leftover. craft beer: 30%; 18 x six-packs; $8ea budget; 8 leftover. domestic beer: 20%; 3 x twenty four pack case; $21ea budget; 0.75 leftover.
For non-alcoholic drinks we had self-service water, unsweet tea, and coffee (home roasted by my husband). My family had glass beverage dispensers (previous family wedding/events) for the tea and water, and we bought coffee urns on Amazon (open box) for the coffee.

Décor & DIY Projects:

Coupons and ebates are your best friends. I will also add: do not undertake unless you enjoy this kind of thing AND can find the time. I enjoy crafting and wanted so much to look “my way” without spending a lot of money.
Arch: photo My dad worked with a friend to bend the large hoop from a piece of 1-3/8” tubing (unknown cost, but less than $50). He then welded male and female parts of the removable feet. I spray painted the whole thing gold and made the floral attachments with couponed artificial flowers ($50) from Michael’s and lots of wire to hold the flowers together. It looked beautiful and made a great backdrop for guest photos later.
Centerpiece compotes: photo Ten bowls ($10) from Dollar Tree, ten candlesticks ($10) from the 99Cents Store, E600 industrial adhesive ($5), two cans of gold spray paint. Easiest project I completed & lots of examples on Pinterest. Alternatively, if you don’t want to be crafty, you can buy the exact same thing on Etsy, premade, for $16. LOL.
Table numbers: photo 12 gauge, copper-colored aluminum wire bent and formed into numbers. Purchased 100ft roll of wire from amazon ($12) and used it for multiple projects: 10 table numbers, cake topper (plus 1 sacrificial topper to practice bending), wire signage for “guestbook”, “cards”, and “gifts.”
Cake topper: photo 12 gauge, copper colored aluminum wire bent and formed into initials.
Dog accessories: photo Flower collar was made with couponed artificial flowers from Hobby Lobby $14). Bowtie was made with scrap fabric & hot glue gun. Used for engagement and first look photos.
Veil: Made with 2 yards of couponed tulle and a hair comb from Joann’s ($11). Simple waltz length, two tier, and not gathered with no appliques or accessories.
Signage: Welcome sign was hand painted on poster board ($1) and framed in an Ikea frame ($15), already owned. Seating chart was designed in Adobe Illustrator, printed as a blueprint at Office Depot ($5), and framed in another Ikea frame ($15), already owned. Easel ($15) was from At Home and it’s floral attachment ($11) was made with couponed artificial flowers from Michael’s & Joann’s. “Gifts”, “cards” & “guestbook” signs were made from aluminum wire left over from table numbers & cake topper (above).
Paper products: designed in Adobe Illustrator STD: Staples ($30) Invites & RSVP: Catprint ($116) Thank You’s: Catprint ($45)
Koozies! photo Designed using Adobe Photoshop and manufactured by TotallyPromotional.com. 100 for $67.50. We got so many compliments, and I still smile so much when we go to a friend’s house and they’re using them.
Linens: photo Chair sashes (110 for $20), napkins (84 for $18), rectangle tablecloths (8 for $36), round tablecloths (18 for $99) all ordered from Linen Tablecloth. Saved a bunch of money buying cheap linens instead of renting. I hoped to buy some of the linens second hand, but didn’t have any luck in local buy & sell groups. Still undecided if the hassle of de-wrinkling (tossed a few at a time in the dryer with a wet towel and then laid flat on the guest bed until the day before), transporting (carefully folded as one and wrapped in a sheet), and washing afterwards (biggest chore) with the intention of reselling is worth it….. So much work but 1/4 the price of renting from the caterer.

DIY Flowers

Lastly, my pièce de résistance. From long before we were ever engaged, I wanted to do my own wedding flowers. I did a lot of research on reddit, pinterest, youtube, general google to see the best way to tackle it. Firstly, I picked my inspiration photos from Pinterest. Secondly, watched youtube videos to get the hang of how centerpieces and bouquets are put together. My favorite channels were ashlyn carter, Flower Lab, and FlowerSchool. They gave tips on how to figure out your recipe for wedding flowers. Thirdly, I used their tips to figure out my recipe. To determine your recipe, you count the different types of flowers used in your inspiration centerpiece, bouquet, bout, corsage, altarpiece, and multiply them out for the desired quantity of centerpiece, bouquet, bout, corsage, altarpiece, etc. Fourth, I had two separate practice rounds making centerpieces (flowers from TJ) to see how long it might take me.
When it came to buying flowers, I compaired prices at Sam’s, Costco, Trader Joes, and local grocery stores for each type of flower I was looking for. I had a whole spreadsheet dedicated to stem pricing. In the end, I ordered half my flowers from Sam’s and the other half from Trader Joes. I’ll outline the buying process below.
Ingredients Trader Joes 15 bunches – Eucalyptus, any combination of seeded, willowy or silver dollar ($2.99ea). 8 bunches – Spray Roses, white or blush pink ($4.99ea). 5 bunches – Blue Thistle ($3.99ea). 4 dozen – Roses, white or blush pink ($6.99? Idr!). Sam’s 80 stems – White Cremons ($79.98). 100 stems – Frutetto Roses ($124.98). 100 stems – White Veronica Flower ($79.98). 200 stems – Israeli Ruscus ($76.42).
Recipe estimated count by stem: Centerpieces = 10 ruscus, 4 eucalyptus, 4 cremons, 5 frutetto roses, 4 spray roses, 5 veronica flower, 2 thistle
Bouquet = I pulled 10 stems of the best looking of everything and set them aside. I just gathered by hand using Ashlyn Carter’s bouquet method of turning, placing, and looking until the whole thing was almost too big for my hand to hold. Zip tied and rubber banded everything, and went to bed. Bouquet was one of the last things we worked on.
DIY Flower Album
To place my Trader Joes order, I went to my nearest TJ 2 weeks before the wedding. I told them what kind, what color, and how many bunches of things I wanted to pick up the Thursday before my Saturday wedding. They gave me an idea of what inventory they were and were not seeing shipments of so I could specify alternates. They called me the week before to let me know of any other inventory changes and again ask if I wanted to make any alternate requests if they didn’t receive a shipment of my preferred flowers. Then I went Thursday afternoon and they let me sort through the flowers they set aside for me. I also looked through the other flowers in the front of the store. There was no pressure on me for what or how much I bought of the reserved flowers. The store manager gave me buckets to take the flowers home in and helped me take them to my car. 10/10 would recommend that you talk with your TJ floral manager and store manager if you’re looking to go the budget friendly flower route. They were beautiful and the staff was so easy to work with.
My Sam’s order was equally easy. I placed the order online about 6 weeks before the wedding. Delivery date was for Thursday before my Saturday wedding. Luckily my boss allowed me to work from home that Thursday so I would be there for the flower delivery. After the flowers arrived, I unpacked them, trimmed the stems, and immediately got them into some water. The roses stayed in their bloom shield overnight and the cremons stayed in their netting.
I kept all of the flowers in our guest bedroom with the fan on and door shut so that they would stay cool. Basically, you want to keep the flowers in the coolest room available. The guest bedroom smelled amazing on Friday morning when I got up to start prepping the arrangements, 8:00am. My step-mom and step-sister came over to help me with the flowers around 9:00am. I made the first arrangement to use as a template. Then my step-sister would set aside all the ingredients for a table centerpiece and my step-mom and I would work on one each. It took us probably 4 hours to get 10 table centerpieces knocked out after we got the ball rolling. After a break for lunch, my step-mom then helped me with my bouquet, placed in a spare vase after construction. We used almost all the remaining flowers to make the 3 large extra arrangements and the small cocktail table centerpieces. The boutonnieres and corsages took up a lot more time than anticipated. I think this is probably because it was very late at this point. We hosted a welcome dinner for family at our house Friday night, so that interrupted gave us a break in the middle of flower-tunnel-vision. We were 2/3 of the way through the large arrangements when we had to stop, clear out the flowers and get things set for the welcome dinner. Didn’t resume for the last arrangement and boutonnieres and corsages until about 10:30pm. After makings sure all the arrangements had water, I probably went to bed around midnight. But damn, it was so worth it.
Transportation: Photo 1 Photo 2 the thing everyone is curious about, but nobody seems to explain. I saved a lot of boxes leading up to the wedding. I also saved the flower boxes the Sam’s flowers were shipped in. Thursday, after unpacking all the flowers, I spaced and cut out holes in these boxes that fit my centerpiece bowls. I then made sure that the boxes would fit in the back of my car and would be able to transport all of the table centerpieces. Saturday, the morning of the wedding, we loaded up all the stuff we had to take to the wedding in several cars (it takes a village to DIY a wedding). Flowers were loaded up last. We poured out most of the water from the vases to avoid a mess in my car. Carefully drove to the venue and unloaded the flowers first into the coolest room at the venue that was also out of the way of other set-up. Cocktail table centerpieces, boutonnieres and corsages were stored in the refrigerator at the venue.

Arrested Development

Easter eggs (her?): - Cinco de Cuatro - Ice cream sandwiches - Seating chart Photo– extra guests: Steve Holt, Gene Parmesan, Tony Wonder - Final Countdown – Bride & Groom entrance song - Bride and Groom’s thank-you speech started with a little chant of “speech, speech, speech, speech!” - Guestbook sign read “Sign our guestbook & always leave a note!” – DOC forgot to put it out.

Basic Traditions:

Didn’t do - Bride & Groom sleep at separate places the day before the wedding/groom can’t see bride before the wedding. We slept at home in our own bed. Taking that away would have been awful. We needed each other with all the last minute stress. Also, we had a first look, so duh. - Bridal party - Bouquet toss - Garter toss - Unity ceremony - “Who gives this woman” – lol, my dad stood there for a minute and I had to whisper “go sit down.” Probably should have told him. Both of my parents walked me down the aisle. - Speeches/toast - Keep the top cake tier. CatereDOC did save and freeze some cake for us, so that was nice.
Did do - First look with Father of Bride – my dad cried like a baby and did not expect that of himself. Would recommend. - Cake cutting - First dance - Father daughtemother son dance - Group photo with all guests on the dance floor. One of my favorite shots.

Take away:

Planning our wedding was seriously such a stressful and rewarding thing for me. There were definitely some highs and lows and of course a few arguments about planning with my husband. When planning got stressful, I just had to remind myself why we were planning: not for a party but to get married, the party is extra. I got laid off from my job about 5 months before the wedding and had to go through the stress of finding another job while feeling useless. That kind of put a damper on planning for me as I wasn’t motivated to spend money when I wasn’t earning any, but thankfully all the big vendors were already selected and deposited at that point. I finally got a job again and got back into the swing of things. The last two weeks leading up to the wedding were the toughest. My husband was begrudgingly helping with more tasks while we were both working full time. The day of the wedding was when we felt all of our stresses peel away. During our first look, my husband said, “man, idk about you but as the day has gone on and we’ve crossed more things off the list I’ve just felt stress melt away.” Looking at our wedding photos you can see it on our faces too, the biggest smiles.

FIN

If you have any questions, feel free to ask away.

Hi,
I am planning a wedding for middle of May next year, and trying to create a budget and would like some advice/help from here.
​
It will be afternoon/evening wedding on a Sunday
Location : GVRD
Venue : $2,500 ($128/hr x 8 hrs + 2 staff (12 hrs x $25) + clean up fee ($250) + licenses etc, rentals)
Number of guests : 70 (65 adults and 4 kids)
Food (dinner buffet) : ~$4,000 - 5,000 (too much? too little?)
Alcohol/drinks : $1,000 ?
Photographer : $1,000?
Centerpiece : $200? DIY (8-9)
Bouquet : $100?
Favours : $200-300
DJ : $500-600
Commissioner : $200-300
Rings : none
Dress/Suits : Minimum - I will wear what I have and the bride will buy something cheap ($100-200?)
Decorations : $400-500??
No groomsmen or bridesmaid
Total : $9,200 - 11,700

• Location still to be decided but looks like it will be Aberthau Mansion in Point grey (more affordable suggestions are welcome, but fiance wants an outdoor ceremony)
• Posted https://www.reddit.com/vancouvecomments/e11p43/low_budget_catering_recommendations/ asking for low budget catering.. not sure how realistic my budget is for the food. In general as long as food is decent and people go home fed, I would be happy. Not sure where the happy medium is between saving costs and people not starving.
• As far as alcohol goes, probably 1-2 bottles of wine per table and some beers? venue location probably won't be transit accessible and people will be driving. Is that still too little?
  
• Not hiring a planner since consulting alone is around $600... ridiculous..
  

Is this budget realistic?
Did I miss anything? where can we save costs even further?

Hi Weddit! I am writing to share some details on our formal backyard ceremony and reception. I've also included reflections on how various prices were relative to other vendors in our area, and some thoughts on how each decision worked out for us (and some places we probably could have saved with the same outcome).
Budget breakdowns were so helpful when I was planning, but I still felt overwhelmed by the expense large backyard weddings can entail. Of course, there are infinite ways to plan and budget, but I naively thought that finding a relatively affordable caterer, arranging our own centerpieces, and price comparing everything would keep our budget around $20-25K USD, which is still a lot.
My SO and I wanted a much smaller, simpler affair, but our family and region place a lot of emphasis on including extended family and friends of the parents, and on feeding and boozing everyone extensively. Along with food, my SO and I prioritized photos and accommodating guests (in particular, I spent a lot of time worrying about dietary needs and minimizing travel expenses for those from out of town. These factors influenced some of our vendor choices like the caterer and baker, and sucked up some time -- an often unacknowledged expense -- as I searched for AirBnBs, and politely renegotiated hotel blocks).
I am sharing these numbers is in the hopes that other couples/families might learn from our experience, and to illuminate the potential cost of a formal outdoor affair. When we received the initial tent and table rental quote, I was ready to cancel. I hated to place such costs on our family, who were generously insistent on paying for about 2/3 of the day. I spent some time researching actual venues again, but found for a group our size, in our city, most traditional places would have been even more (especially those with their own caterebar -- in our city, at least, the in-house bar costs are usually 4-6 times as much).
Ultimately, I’m glad we went with the day as planned, and grateful that we ended up with a night that made us, our families, and friends so joyfully happy. We tried to be frugal where possible (e.g. on flowers and centerpieces, programs/invites, and slightly lower budget furniture), but spent a bit more on things that would affect guest comfort (e.g. a restroom trailer over portalettes, lots of food).
The Breakdown (prices include our area’s high sales tax, where applicable)
Guest Count: 225 (asked 290)

• SO and I invited about 20 friends (and their spouses/fiancees). The rest of the guests were members of our large extended family, or our parents’ friends.

Reception: 4 hours, evening/black tie optional
Cost: $39,500 (chart here) EDIT: skip to end of post for template links!
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Stationery and programs:

• Save the Dates: $0 (while I love to admire other couple's cards, we decided that for us, the $600+ for a quality printed photo card and postage would be better spent elsewhere)
• Invitations: $447 for ~300 invites (Invitations by Dawn) + $250 for stamps (outside + RSVP envelopes)
  • Our invites were simple thermography printed text, but we were really happy with them and Invitations By Dawn's perpetual 30-40% sales. Highly recommend the extra ~$9 for the digital proof, especially if you do their pre-addressed envelopes, as the default font is small.
• Programs: $70 (ivory cardstock + printing at Staples)

Stationery reflections: Satisfied; IMO, the thermography (raised text) and pre-printed envelopes were worth it for invites; laser printing was fine for programs
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Attire, Hair, and Makeup:
Dress: $1,250 (custom dress: included alterations, bustle, etc)

• As mentioned, comfort was a big priority for us and guests. I’m hard to fit and have had bad luck with alterations in the past. Fortunately, I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted and was able to find a WONDERFUL seamstress who made a custom dress perfectly fit to me. My dress was full length with a moderate train. Comparable dresses were $2.5-3.5K plus alterations.

Veil: $0 (borrowed)
Shoes: $0 (low heels I already owned)

• Pretty shoe photos are fun to see, but figured it was worth squeaking a few pennies by not getting a new pair. Plus, I wanted to wear something that I knew was comfortable, so I turned to a pair of inexpensive wedges I already owned. I had a pair of flats to change into but never felt the need to swap - woohoo!

Onsite hair and makeup: $185 + $150 for MOH

• Went with airbrush makeup and really liked how it turned out and how well it lasted! I'd read that airbrush can peel off if you rub your face, but it stuck around through all the hugs, humidity, and face swipes. Most HMU packages in our area were $250-350 for the bride and $200+ for BM if they got hair and makeup, so I was especially pleased it all worked out. I didn't do any manicures, pedicures, or spray tans. I gave my bridesmaids the option of doing their own hair or makeup; most elected for one DIY, and one service. I treated my MOH to hers.

Groom’s tux and accessories: $165

• The hubs is also hard to fit, and has sweat through his share of poor-fitting polyester rentals. For us, it was worth the extra ~$30-$60 to rent a 100% wool tux and all-cotton shirt from a place with easy size exchanges.

Attire/HMU reflections: Satisfied; I could NOT have done the makeup myself, and for the dress, even a used dress in the style I loved would have been the same or more after alterations.
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Ceremony
Officiant: $400

• We would have preferred to have a friend or relative officiate, but this was a compromise to appease the fam. Thankfully, the officiant did a great job and the required premarital sessions were really positive, useful, and non-judgemental.

Ceremony sound & music: $300 ($150 gift to musician friend; $150 for micing)

• We are big music lovers with some musician friends, and asked one of them to play, which was so special and a real highlight. For micing/sound, we found that it was surprisingly costly in our area (some quotes we received were $450 and $650 for sound alone). However, we’ve been to several outdoor weddings in the past where the couple and officiant were near impossible to hear, so we did want to mic if at all possible. In the end, we were fortunate enough to find a sound tech who was much more reasonable.

Ceremony chair Rental: $662
Ceremony Decor: $0 (Kept it very simple & borrowed potted plants)
Ceremony takeaways: Doubt we could have gotten away for less here without upsetting older family. Was surprised by how costly officiants can be, but grateful we didn't have $2-5K in church rental fees on top of it, as has become standard in our area.
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Catering and service:
Food: $43.5pp + tax / $9.8K total, inc. tax

• Many caterers in our area charge a 20% service fee on top of exorbitant costs. We found a well-reviewed caterer who didn't charge those massive percentages, and were really happy with them! It was still far from cheap, but we had a lot of food: a few passed apps, 6-8 heavy hors d'oeuvres on display, and 3 dinner stations. Plus, our contact person at the caterer was kind enough to charge us for fewer people than the final guest count we reported.

Vendor meals: $25pp + tax / $277 total, inc. tax
Alcohol: $14pp + tax / $3.1K total, inc. tax

• Our bar package was initially $10pp (pretty good for a full bar in our area), but we added an extra hour to the reception - and are so glad we did, since the liquor was the only additional cost for having another hour to celebrate (there weren't extra charges from the band, the food side of the catering, etc). We had wine, beer (including a few craft beers), and mid to high tier liquor selections.

Production fee: $1,800 (included china and glassware)
Servers, bartenders etc: $3,753 (it was a fairly large staff)
Napkins: $80

• We bought cloth-like paper napkins (3-4 per guest) instead of renting linens. Probably could have gone with standard 2-3 ply napkins for ~$30 but we liked that these were a bit more resilient and slightly less wasteful.

Cake: $290

• We had a small ceremony cake ($200) from a local baker and several Costco sheet cakes ($90). Both were huge hits and we had a lot of cake left over! We got to share it all the next day, too :).

Catering takeaways: We considered a less formal wedding BBQ initially, but the pig roast and BBQ places around us were as much as or more than the caterer we found. That said, my fam kept adding to the menu after we signed the contract, so it's possible other vendors would have become less. I think we could have nixed 2-3 of the heavy apps (which would have saved us about $5pp, or $1k total) and maybe gone with slightly less expensive liquor, but the food was incredible, and the bar package was still low for our area. We looked into mixer-only packages (eg. you provide the alcohol and the bartenders bring the sodas and whatnot, but in our case, we found the mixer packages weren't much, if any, less once we factored in alcohol, even if we bought in bulk. In other areas with a greater cost difference between packages, the BYO liquor option might be better).
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Reception Rentals:
Furniture and linens: $3.2K

• Spoke with 3-4 rental companies and chose the least expensive with good reviews. We rented a dozen round tables w/ 8 chairs each, tons of cocktail tables, table linens, a few food station tables, and 3 bars. Seriously considered buying cheap linen tablecloths online (would have saved us ~$300), but because of how many tables we had to cover AND decorate with DIY centerpieces, I was afraid we would not have time to steam them or lay them out (as it turns out, the rental company doesn't put their linens on the tables anyways, so maybe we should have bought wholesale...)

Restroom trailer: $1,700

• The trailer was HUGE (8 stalls!) but we were advised that 200+ people might push the tank limits for a 3-4 stall (especially over 4 hours of drinking). We made a lot of calls and chose a company that does more business rentals than events. As insane as the cost was, the main competitor in the area quoted us $2,700 for just 3 stalls... or $3,500 for their 8! :-O

Tent cancellation fee (what we paid): $1,700 / What we would have paid for tent: $4,900

• Tents (and basic pole covers) for a party our size would've been almost 5 grand after delivery, tax, and planner discount. If we'd added draping or gone with a clear tent, that would have been another $2-2.5k, so we kept the hypothetical tent as simple as possible. Fortunately, the weather ended up being beautiful and we were able to go without the tent.

Reception rental takeaways: In retrospect, would have bought tablecloths instead of renting, nixed a few cocktail tables, and might have taken a risk and downsized the restroom trailer. So glad we didn't need the tent and so happy we chose to go without once the weather gave us the choice to do so.
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Reception Decor:
Floral centerpieces: $160

• We mostly used local greenery from our yard (free) but supplemented with flowers from a wholesale florist. Vases were borrowed.

Pillar candles and vases: $175

• We ordered dollar store vases and pillar candles online. The candles were placed in groups of 3 (of varied height) on the sides of our bars and buffets, and on several of our dining tables.

Café Lighting: $1,500

• A lot to spend on lights, but the reception area ended up being quite large, and the lighting was one of the real highlights. Yes, we probably could have bought a bunch at Costco, but there’s no way we could have hung them the way they were. Plus, the vendor we hired offered to apply the fee to chandeliers inside the tents if we’d had to use them.

Reception decor takeaways: The arrangements took a lot more time than I expected (naively, I thought working with flowers/leaves would be less intensive than other DIY wedding crafts). That said, I'm happy with how they turned out and with the fact that making them saved us from spending several grand more on a florist (real flowers were a must for our mothers).
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Other Vendors
Coordinator: $2,250

• I was unsure about hiring a coordinator (especially when the first "partial planners" I researched were $5-8K!), but organizing rentals became way more complicated than expected, and having a coordinator was a HUGE help and generally worth the cost. Like many coordinators in our area, our coordinator received a 10% discount on table and tent rentals, and passed the savings onto us. They also made our layout and helped us with the timeline for the big day, and spent all day the day of the wedding getting things ready and helped to manage time. That last part ended up getting a little thrown off, which was unexpected, but it ended up being a great night :).

Band: $2,250

• Most bands in our area were $4,000-10,000 but the search paid off - we found a more reasonable group who did a great job! One of my initial worries about bands was all of the extra costs -- the stage ($400-1000 in our area), vendor meals for many more people than a single DJ, etc. While we would have been happy with a DJ, most in our area were equally if not more expensive, and again, a band was a big priority to our family, so it was worth the extra 1-2% of our budget.

Photographer: $2,700 (8 hours including second shooter)

• In our area, most quality and experienced wedding photographers would be $4-7,000 for 8 hours, maybe 3.5K if you're lucky. We were very lucky to secure an excellent photographer who’s unusually affordable.

Florist: $522 (bouquets $50-150, boutineers $12/ea)

• We went with a small florist and were really happy with the results. The florist worked with us to find flowers that were affordable and in season (e.g. garden roses instead of peonies). The other “affordable” florists we contacted for quotes were 2-3 times as much.

Takeaways on vendors above: Again, really happy with how all these worked out. Would have been fine with a DJ but the band was lovely. If we'd held our wedding at a regular venue, we probably could have foregone the coordinator, but that assistance was really helpful for our situation.
CONCLUSION
While it's still a gut punch to think about the budget, we are very lucky to have family who wanted and was able to contribute. We all had the night of a lifetime with a lot of amazing people by our side.
tldr; Big backyard weddings can get pricey quickly after 200 guests. Tent and other rentals are crazy. On the flip side, outdoor weddings can have a LOT of sunk costs whether you hit that 200 person threshold or not. Factor in any yard touch ups you might do beforehand, pest control, or other general expenses that you don't have to worry about at a traditional venue, and, well, those margins could shrink even further 🤷‍♀.
EDIT: A lot of people have asked about the chart/graph, so I made a shareable template with a new gmail acct. I also added the more detailed spreadsheet I used along the way. It's not the most elegant, formula-wise, and could have an error or two from my efforts to clean it up a bit, but should work overall!