Grand National Tips 2021 | Best 4 Bets | Free Predictions

best free bets grand national

best free bets grand national - win

If every race had a unique podium hat, this is what each race would use.

Inspired by some posts asking this question, I reached peak offseason (and peak lockdown) and thought I'd make an attempt to go all out and actually put together a comprehensive list. I've really tried to research into these but as you'll see in some cases it wasn't easy, and I've also had to group a few races together. Please feel free to correct me if you are from said countries and know of a better answer. Enjoy!
2019 Calendar Races (Plus some others which would also use the same hat):
Australia – Cork Hat
An absolute no brainer to start us off easy. Corks would be strung from the brim of the hat so that when you swivel your head the swinging corks keep those pesky blowflies off you. Believed to have been worn by jackaroos or swagmen (I don’t know either), the genius was in the fact that cork’s lack of density mean that their weight doesn’t drag the brim down with them.
Bahrain/UAE/Saudi Arabia – Keffiyeh
If you’ve ever watched one of the Middle Eastern races, you cannot miss these being sported by many members of the crowd. What began as a practical piece of headwear and scarf has become popular around the world, and sometimes associated with Palestinian solidarity due to its wearing by notable Palestinian figures.
China/Japan/Vietnam – Conical Hat
Is it even a paddy field if you don’t see the farmers wearing these? Not only offering excellent sun and rain protection, but they can also be dipped in water to be used for evaporative cooling. Also well known to be a symbol of Buddhism, especially in Japan.
Azerbaijan – Papaq
A sign of prestige and dignity, these would never be taken off in public, to the point where doing so was considered shameful. If you really wanted to rile someone up, you could knock off their papaq.
Spain – Barretina
Very popular in Catalonia, the region containing Barcelona and our not-so-beloved Spanish GP, this floppy number is a symbol of identity. They became less popular in the 19th century but had a brief resurgence when Salvador Dali started wearing one. In the 2010 world cup final, a pitch invader tried to put one onto the trophy.
Monaco – Monegasque Military Helmet
I really struggled with this one. I think one of the best bets is to go with the white (in summer) or blue (in winter) custodian hat worn by the Prince’s Company. Brits will have seen a darker version of this hat worn by the bobbies on the beat (Police on street patrol).
Canada – Mounties Hat
As much as I think it would be cool to see a First Nations headdress on the podium, I understand that given the sacrality of these to their culture it is probably not appropriate to do so. So instead, I’d go for the hat worn by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police – the ‘Mounties.’ Originally formed in 1873 to protect First Nations territory from whisky bootleggers, they’re still functional today and are so iconic that at one point Disney were doing their brand management.
France – Beret
What else? We all have the same image – a Frenchman, riding a bike, with a curly moustache, stripy shirt, string of onions and of course a beret. Potentially dating back to the bronze age, the beret has always been popular in France and its fashion has expanded around the world thanks to colonisation and later social media. They’re also very popular with militaries and revolutionaries alike, most notably Che Guevara.
Austria/Germany – Tyrolean Hat/Jägerhut
While I have seen many a cheap knock-off version of these hats during our British attempts at Oktoberfest, they truly originate from the Tyrol region in the Alps, which is now spread across Austria, Germany, Italy, and Switzerland. After Edward VIII of the UK abdicated in 1936 he frequently stayed in Styria and wore this type of hat, making it associated with the region. This makes it even more relevant as Styria is where the Red Bull Ring is!
Great Britain – Bowler Hat
Created by the Londoners Thomas and William Bowler in 1849, it has been associated with the working, middle and upper classes across its lifetime, and also finding popularity on the American frontier – more so than the cowboy hat or the sombrero. Worn by countless real and fictional characters, it remains an icon of 19th and 20th century Britain.
Hungary – Shako
These are modified versions of the traditional stovepipe or top hats which were worn by Hungarian shepherds in the 18th century, before being adopted by the military and becoming a symbol of the Hungarian Hussars. Despite only really being used functionally for about 70 years, the style spread to armies across the world and can still be seen on parade today.
Belgium – Gilles Plumed Headdress
Now this is something I’d like to see. These aren’t really related to Spa-Franchorchamps, but they’re too impressive to pass up on. The Gilles are costumed participants of the Carnival of Binche celebrated every Shrove Tuesday. During the morning of the carnival they wear masks, but upon reaching the town hall they take these off, and some don these epic ostrich-feathered hats and throw blood oranges at the crowd - something I’d also like to see on the podium.
Italy – Milanese Fashion
Another tough one. Since Italy is such a young country, I struggled to find much in the way of traditional clothing. However, I have another idea. Monza is really close to Milan, whose fashion week is one of the most recognised in the world. Why not collaborate with some of the most famous designers to have a one-off hat reflecting each year’s fashion trends? As well as uniqueness, it’s a sponsorship opportunity, and if there’s one thing F1 loves more than racing…
Singapore – Slouch Hat
I don’t want to group Singapore with the three other countries using the conical hat, despite its presence in the region. The Slouch hat is worn by Singapore’s Gurkha Contingent and has become a marker from which they can be identified. Gurkha regiments are used in many countries and are known to be some of the most fearsome soldiers, with only 200 of the 20,000 applicants (1%) making it into Singapore’s GC yearly.
Russia – Ushanka
Even if these hadn’t already been used at Grands Prix before, it would still be my choice. The true Ushanka is inspired by Norwegian arctic explorer’s hats, and from Cossack interaction of central Asian peoples. After losing the Winter War to Finns whose hats were better at keeping their heads warm (this was not the only reason), the Red Army ditched their old budenovka hats and Ushankas became standard-issue, thus the relationship with wearing one and all of your friends calling you ‘comrade’ was born. Perhaps the most exciting thing about the Russian GP would be seeing these make a comeback.
Mexico/Brazil – Sombrero
Simply Spanish for ‘hat,’ this is another one that’s seen the podium before. This hat is even wider than the Spanish version brought over by colonials, to give better sun protection from the more intense central American heat.
United States – Cowboy Hat
John Batterson Stetson is credited with the original design of hat we all know and love today. Depending on your age, you may associate this hat with John Wayne or Woody, but travel to a Southern or Western ranch and you’ll likely see them being worn. The Stetson got a free PR boost when, in 1912, the USS Maine was raised after being sunk for fourteen years and a seemingly undamaged Stetson was found in the wreckage.
Bonus Races
Portugal – Portuguese Sombrero
Typical traditional Portuguese clothing, this sombrero is only similar to its South American cousins in name. It would have a flat brim and top and is worn as part of traditional dress.
Turkey – Fez
Written into the history books by the Ottoman Empire, this hat became popular because of its practicality – it was easier to pray (with your head to the ground, as is done in Islam), wearing this than with a turban, bonnet or Keffiyeh. Ironically, in the late 18th century, political rival Austria held a near monopoly on the production of the Fez and they became less popular following a boycott of Austrian goods due to increasing tension between the nations.
Netherlands – Flat Cap or Wide Brimmed
There doesn’t seem to be a consensus on this at all, it was one or the other. As such, I don’t have much to write here. If this idea were too boring, I’m sure we could change them for some sort of Windmill hat.
India – Turban
Common in Sikhism and some sects of Islam, the origins of this headwear are so old it’s unknown. There are many regional variants, all with their own name, each coming in different colours and sizes.
Malaysia – Tengkolok
Dating back to 1400, this hat was born of a need for Malaccan Malays to be expected to cover their head and present themselves neatly when seeking audience with the Sultan. Over time it became popular to decorate them in accordance with your wealth.
Thank you everyone for reading! Hope you made it this far. Now, what do I do with all this free time?
submitted by The_Clivanator to formula1 [link] [comments]

2020 Sakhir GP Free Practice 1 and 2 Debrief - r/Formula1 Editorial Team

2020 Sakhir GP Free Practice 1 and 2 Debrief

Words by u/ZeroSuitFalcon and u/ShowstopperNL
Special contributions on George Russell and Pietro Fittipaldi by u/flipjj

Links

Live Session Discussion Threads

ICYMI

Formula1 Editorial Team’s Pre-Weekend Articles

In what turned out to be one of the busiest weeks of the season, the Formula1 Editorial Team has already produced two articles.
The first, a magnificent look at the history of the Fittipaldi family by u/TheStateOfIt, as Pietro Fittipaldi’s debut makes the Fittipaldis the first family to have a third generation on the grid.
The other is a short profile of one of Haas’ new drivers, Mick Schumacher, as he is finally confirmed in the 2021 grid (the worst kept secret of the year), also representing the continuation of a legacy in the sport. u/UnmeshDatta26 and u/Death_Pig have had this ready for a while, and we are glad to finally run it.

Grosjean Discharged From Hospital as Pietro Fittipaldi Replaces Him for the Weekend

Following last weekend’s horrific crash, Romain Grosjean was discharged from the hospital yesterday. His burns were still wrapped but was able to use his hands again. He returned to the paddock and gathered everyone involved in his crash to thank them for their efforts to rescue him. In a wholesome moment, Grosjean and his wife Marion also met the two firefighters who responded to his crash and were later promoted by the Crown Prince and Prime Minister of Bahrain, named Sergeant Thayer Ali Taher and Sergeant Major John Matthew.
Due to Romain Grosjean being unable to race this weekend, Pietro Fittipaldi was brought into the Haas motorhome and signed a contract to replace Grosjean. Fittipaldi is likely to take Grosjean’s seat again next week at Abu Dhabi for the final race of the season.

Hamilton Tests Positive for COVID-19 and Russell Announced to Replace Him

Perhaps the biggest news post-race was that Lewis Hamilton tested positive for COVID-19. He reportedly tested negative throughout the weekend but began to have mild symptoms after the race. He requested a COVID test which came back positive and he has been quarantined since.
Bahrain and the UAE’s quarantining rules are quite strict but it remains to be seen if Hamilton’s status as a sportsman might allow him to travel to Abu Dhabi privately if he happens to test negative prior to the Abu Dhabi GP.
Many names were thrown around on who would replace Lewis Hamilton, and eventually George Russell was confirmed by Mercedes to replace the 7-time WDC winner. This is Mr. Saturday’s first excursion in a car not named Williams and he comes into the weekend with an undefeated qualifying record.
It will be a remarkable feat if Russell can retain his record after Saturday.

Mick Schumacher and Nikita Mazepin Confirmed for 2021 Season

Current Formula 2 Championship Leader Mick Schumacher has been announced as one of the drivers for Haas in 2021.
While he still has a lot of work to do tomorrow to secure his F2 Championship, his move to the f1 grid next season is secured. It will be quite remarkable to see both Jos Verstappen and Michael Schumacher’s sons in Formula 1 next season.
On the other side of the garage, Nikita Mazepin has finally secured the ever-elusive Formula 1 drive after two seasons in Formula 2. He is currently 3rd in the F2 championship but it is still all to play for during the weekend’s races.
Along with his announcement, Mazepin’s name has been in the news for less savory reasons, both in and out of the paddock.
It will be interesting to see how contrasting the new Haas duo’s personalities are and who will be able to produce the results needed for the team. One thing is certain: it will not be dull.

Aitken Replaces Russell at Williams for the Weekend

Jack Aitken has been in F2 for the past 3 years and now he finally gets his first foray into Formula 1 by replacing George Russell at Williams. The silly season is dynamic and the situation is always changing; will he be able to impress and find a drive for Formula 1 next year or will he be stuck in Formula 2?

Simone Resta leaves Ferrari and moves to Haas F1

Haas have also announced that Simone Resta, the current Head of Chassis Engineering for Ferrari, is joining the USA team for 2021 as a part of their enhanced partnership with Ferrari. Ferrari Team Principal Mattia Binotto said that the move is only helping strengthen the bonds between the two teams, which already includes deals for engines, gearboxes and non-listed parts.
Enrico Cardile, the current Head of Performance Engineering for the Scuderia, will be taking over Simone’s role. This is on the heels of Binotto announcing that the technical side of the team will be undergoing changes as Binotto seeks to create a winning platform for 2022 and beyond.
Simone Resta had left the Scuderia to take up the role of Technical Director for Alfa Romeo in 2018, before returning near the end of the 2019 season as the Head of Chassis Engineering.
With the team undergoing massive change internally, we could hear of more movements being made behind the scenes as the team looks to get ready for the new era of F1.

Track and Tech Talk

The Outer Track for the Sakhir GP is 3.543 km long, and the race will have 87 laps. The oval characteristics of the track allow for over 60% of the track being taken at full throttle which will easily allow sub one-minute fast laps during qualifying tomorrow. It is possible that the top of the field might dip in to the sub-52 seconds, with a sub-50 considered improbable.
This weekend, Pirelli have brought the C2, C3 and C4 compounds from their tire range. The track causes low tire stress but the track surface itself is quite abrasive which is further exacerbated by sand being blown onto the track. A Medium to Hard one-stop strategy for the race is possible, but we may also see Soft-Medium-Medium strategies being deployed. Safety Car periods are not uncommon in Bahrain and, given the tracks’ characteristics, it is not a bad bet that we will again see Bernd Mayländer on Sunday. Coming at the end of this season, with most teams running their last PUs and gearboxes, the possibility of mechanical failures should also not be discounted.

Free Practice 1

The “almost oval, but not actually really close to an oval” outer track layout threw up a new experience for everyone. Before you can go fast you need to go where you are going. Carlos Sainz asked for some directions from a local bystander. After everybody had learned the basics, the session kicked into a higher gear.
Drivers were very eager to find the limits of this outer circuit. Charles Leclerc did some off-roading going into Turn 4 but managed avoid major damage. The tricky chicane in Sector 2 (Turns 7 and 8) gave drivers some headache, Sergio Perez was among them. The Racing Point was seen taking creative lines coming out of Turn 8 and, as more and more drivers abused track limits, Race direction had no choice but to issue a revised set of Director’s Notes addressing the issue.
In his first outing for Mercedes George Russell took a cautious approach. Peter “Bono” Bonnington guided him through using DAS in the first 30 minutes. The young Brit worked a steady practice session and got rewarded for it, finishing as the quickest in FP1. Max Verstappen followed him in the Red Bull, while Russell’s teammate Valtteri Bottas had good pace through the first parts of FP1, but damage to his car hindered his pace by about 0.3. Alexander Albon completed FP1 in 3rd position, only 0.2 behind his Red Bull partner, the Thai spinning coming out of Turn 2 but surviving with just flat spotted tires.
AlphaTauri delivered a very impressive first practice session as the duo of Daniil Kvyat and Pierre Gasly finished 5th and 6th. The Frenchmen had an eventful moment when his right wing mirror almost fell off. If the Italian team can keep improving during the weekend, they could be looking at a good haul of points for the weekend.

Free Practice 2

With track conditions more comparable to qualifying and race, teams focussed on setting up their cars.
The first half of the session was devoted to qualifying simulations. Not long after the session started, the broadcast followed Jack Aitken onboard and caught a close call between Aitken and Kevin Magnussen. And it would not be the only time cars came close together.
It is fairly certain that we will see heavy traffic in qualifying tomorrow, with Q1 being specially complicated with all 20 cars taking part in that session. Watching F2 qualifying, it is easy to imagine a repeat of the debacle of Monza 2019. Teams that work better together are certainly going to benefit, as finding clear space could prove tricky.
Ferrari struggles continued. Vettel spun out of Turn 2 and his teammate Charles Leclerc suffered a gearbox issue which spelled a very early end to the Monégasque’s day. Vettel carried on, but not without more wild moments. While pushing hard on a qualifying simulation, the German dropped a wheel in the gravel and slid across the track quite dangerously. Luckily, Magnussen managed to avoid the spinning Ferrari.
McLaren’s day was not much better than Ferrari’s. Norris damaged his car while hitting kerbs too hard, and, on top of that, both Sainz and Norris suffered technical issues that lost him track time. While Sainz still completed 39 laps despite his issues, Norris could only manage 14.
A few of the front-runners also had a tough session, with Bottas having a particularly scruffy session. He had many laps deleted for going out of bounds in Turn 8, and finished down the order. While on paper Bottas has been slower than Russell, should the Finn manage a clean lap, he should be able to be quicker than his teammate.
Over at Red Bull, both drivers were unhappy with the car, complaining about understeer on soft tires, with both drivers proving their point by running wide at Turn 8. In addition to understeer, Verstappen also cursed over the team radio about a “hopping” issue similar to last weekend. Despite these problems, the Dutchman was only 0.1 behind Russell, who ended an impressive first day with Mercedes on top of the second session as well.

Predictions for Tomorrow

ZeroSuitFalcon
It has been a difficult day for one Valtteri Bottas, he has repeatedly voiced concerns on the radio about his cars handling and has also struggled to keep his car within track limits. My prediction is that Max Verstappen will get pole just barely with Bottas pipping Russell. While Bottas has struggled with the car, his experience for the past 4 years on the current platform cannot be understated. The McLarens and Ferraris will also struggle to qualify as they have suffered from reliability and maneuverability issues. At the back end of the field, Latifi will finally outqualify his teammate for the first time as Aitken looks toward his first F1 qualifying session.
showstopperNL
It wouldn’t surprise me to see one of the leaders get caught out in qualifying. Formula 2 qualifying was already chaotic and it won’t be any different for F1. Overall i think, while he’s struggled today, that Bottas will take pole and win the race. With Hamilton out this should be his race to win. If Russell continues his display I predict he will finish on the podium after a fun fight with Verstappen. In the midfield AlphaTauri looked very good today so i think they’ll carry that into the race and with a little bit of luck could be best of the rest. Gasly has been very strong and Kvyat looked great in practice.

Riding With George and Pietro

As George Russell makes his debut with Mercedes and Pietro Fittipaldi takes over Grosjean’s Haas, we thought it could be a good idea to ride along and see how both drivers got on with their new machines.
First, let us look at how Russell’s day went. As the sessions’ classifications show, he performed quite nicely.

Riding with George

Free Practice 1
Usually, when practice sessions start, the onboards are turned off and you only get the F1TV “no signal” screen. As the broadcast of the Sakhir GP’s FP1 started, George Russell is the cockpit, fiddling with the wheel, setting his mirrors, talking to people off camera, and looking as if he is in a hurry to drive.
Once the #63 Mercedes was made ready to emerge from the pits after a quarter of an hour, however, it was hard to think of Russell as a rookie in the team. He sounded and seemed very comfortable with his surroundings and promptly got to work, learning the Sakhir Outer Loop at the wheel of the W11.
When exploring a track, every minute is important, as drivers take their time learning the intricacies of the layout, even if it is the track destined to produced the shortest lap in Formula 1 history.
Peter “Bono” Bonnington, Hamilton’s engineer who is handling Russell this weekend, asks him for 2 burnouts (reminding him that the race start will be in 2nd gear), and after a practice start Russell is on track with a Mercedes (Bono later mentions that Russell nailed the clutch position). After a bit of DAS usage (only the third ever driver to use it), it all falls into the same rhythm anyone that rides onboard with Lewis Hamilton knows very well. Bono calls out the gaps, inserts a bit of encouragement here and there, and the driver puts a few laps in.
Two fast laps on softs, followed by a discussion with Bono (Russell suggesting two cool down laps, which was then done), and then Russell is in the groove. One interesting tidbit from his first stint was that although Bottas was breaking later and harder according to Bono, Russell was able to carry more speed through the corner. As Russell struggled to find his footing on the Mercedes braking into Turn 1, this message seemed to help him find a better solution to the corner, and he soon started showing more confidence heading into the first heavy braking event of the lap.
Riding onboard, the car does seem just a little bit twitchy, which is something one rarely sees riding with Hamilton, but being the great car it is, the W11 was kind to Russell and the driver responded by treating it gently throughout the day.
For the 20 minutes of his first stint, the improvement was noticeable, culminating in much better braking into Turn 1 as the stint was coming to a close. Overall, although he finished the stint with only the 7th best time, clearly below what the car can do, it was an impressive start and it was impossible not be eager for more.
With about 40 minutes to go, Russell again came out. With his first lap, he shot to the top of the timetable, 0.124 faster than Bottas and 0.243 than Esteban Ocon. Max Verstappen would eventually best his time, but the last lap before ending the stint would prove even better, a 54.546 being almost 0.2 faster than Verstappen and enough for P1.
With a little over 15 minutes to go, Russell again came out, with Bono asking him to experiment with brake balance, introduce lift-and-coast, and generally asking a bit more from Russell during the stint. Although no faster laps were set, as the goal of this stint was clearly not overall pace, Russell did appear to be driving better, especially with a little hesitation on the throttle that was present at the start but was not seen again in the third stint.
FP1 was an impressive display by Russell, especially when looking at the little things. He backed off a lap to find a gap before Bono had told him it was there. He pulled out of laps whenever he needed, instead of worrying about what the team would think, and came back stronger in the next tour. He improved his pace through Turn 8, starting with an unsure lift mid-corner to exiting it flat out and using all the track he could. And his braking into Turn 1 markedly improved as the session progressed (although he still missed the apex on Turn 1 a few times, which he will probably have to improve on as the weekend continues).
Russell seemed extremely comfortable in the car and with the team, and finishing the session with the fastest time certainly will not hurt his confidence for the rest of the weekend, and he also flawlessly handled all of Bono’s requests for changes (in a wheel that is very different from the one he is used to at Williams).
While Bottas had damage to blame for his lack of pace (Mercedes mechanics were seen working on Bottas’ floor), Russell put in the laps, completed his first official session with the team without any errors, and managed to clock the fastest time. It is a great start to his Mercedes weekend.
Although the team is probably happy with the result, Russell’s performance (and clear next-in-line position with the team) does put quite a bit of pressure on his new teammate. Anyone that thought Bottas would be able to take it easy and romp to a pole position and win has by now hopefully realised that it will not be that easy. Russell looks ready to pounce if given the opportunity and any faltering by Bottas will only increase the calls for him to be dropped in favor of Russell.
Free Practice 2
Coming out after about 20 minutes into the session with shiny new hard tires equipped, Russell seemed even more at ease handling the W11. His first foray into Turn 1 was already similar to the best ones from FP1, and he went on to show what he did during the interval between sessions. His first lap took him to P6 (but the fastest on hards) and he would only improve on that.
Immediately after his first flying lap, he had a quick discussion regarding strategy with Bono, handling the traffic nicely. Russell truly looked at home, and not like he was just starting his second ever official session with the team.
Among the improvements, a better handling the T5-8 section and braking with more confidence into Turn 1 were plain to see and as the first FP2 stint developed, his consistency was on display, nailing the laps, not needing to saw at the wheel at any point, just a controlled attack of the track over and over again.
Watching him go around without making any serious mistakes, nailing the lap times, and improving with each one, it was hard not to think that those lucky punters that managed to put a bit of money on Russell winning at astronomical odds. Although nothing is guaranteed in F1, it does look as if Russell will indeed be fighting at the front on Sunday.
Coming out again at the midway point of the session with softs on, Russell immediately set the best time of the session, a 54.713 that was, at the time, 0.153 ahead of Perez. After a cool down lap another fast attempt produced a 54.850 which, although not faster than his previous best, was better than the best lap for P2 at that time.
Even if he was still working on perfecting his brake application in Turn 1, Russell seemed to be very comfortable with everything around him. As he was clearly pushing harder than in FP1, we could see a few errors here and there, especially with the braking into T1 and 10, but nothing that compromised his performance.
As Russell came out for another stint with a little under 30 minutes to go in the session, Bono was not holding back, showering his driver with information all around any lap he was not going for time. And Russell again responded perfectly, nailing all the requirements, and still not making any big mistakes throughout the session.
Finally, the soft tire party was over and with a little under 20 minutes to go the #63 Mercedes pitted for hard tires. With his first perfect pitstop placement (before that, he was 5 cm off target), Russell immediately went out with hard tires. His first laps matched his pace on used softs from earlier, and even if he did take a few more liberties with the track limits as he pushed with less grip than before, his improvement was still clear to see, especially his braking into Turn 1.
As the stint developed, Bono kept piling on the setting changes all over a lap, moving various things from time to time, and Russell kept responding without a hitch. Considering the changes that are asked of Hamilton during qualifying and races, Bono expanded his repertoire quite a bit, and it is hard not to feel that it was all as a test to Russell’s ability to cope with the avalanche of information.
He did make a mistake braking into Turn 1 in his final attempt at a fast lap, but that does little to diminish the shine of his performance today. Especially since, as the clock expired, Russell’s name was still at the top of the timesheet, 0.128 faster than Verstappen.
Yes, many people will cry “that proves anyone can win in a Mercedes”, but it is hard to deny, having watched Russell’s F2 career and what he has been able to do at Williams, that all the signs point towards him indeed being a great talent.
If Russell’s FP1 performance was impressive, his FP2 made it feel as if he had been in the car since the start of the season, and today was just a regular Friday at work. It is pretty clear that he aced the first test Mercedes set for him. Now we have to wait to see what happens on Saturday and Sunday.
The rest of the weekend should be very interesting.
Finally, a word on Bono.
Many people tend to overlook his importance and that is a mistake. His calm and steady voice is a crucial part of Hamilton’s romp through the record books and today was a great day to see why. Bono’s influence on what Hamilton (and Russell this weekend) does is clear and today it was easy to see his qualities and his influence.
At the start, he only called out the gaps to other drivers, allowing Russell to settle. As the lap count increased, he started giving Russell more and more input, and by the time the session had 30 minutes to go, one could be tricked into thinking he was talking to Hamilton (although Russell is much louder than Hamilton when responding).
The information stream increased dramatically, Russell seemingly more comfortable asking questions as well, they discussed braking into Turn 1, lights on the dash, where to try to gain more time, it did not look as if Bono was holding back. After the second stint, Russell even asked for the delta heading to the pits before Bono could tell him, showing that the Williams driver was feeling at home behind the wheel of the W11.
In addition to the pleasure of seeing Russell finally getting a car that matches the potential many people see in him, it was also a privilege to see another piece of the puzzle that performs at the top of their game. Bono steered Russell through his first session with Mercedes flawlessly and gently, helping Russell navigate the differences between Williams and Mercedes, sort out his issues braking into Turn 1 and, in the process, the duo threw down the gauntlet to Bottas.
Riding With Pietro
As he becomes the third generation of Fittipaldis (link goes to u/TheStateOfIt’s fabulous Fittipaldi Family feature, be sure to read it) to drive an F1 car, Pietro had a quiet session. An installation lap, followed by a long stint in the pits, and then finally he was unleashed onto the track on hard tires.
A couple of laps to get temperature into the tires and a proper practice session was underway. For his first stint, Fittipaldi used his early laps to acclimatise to the car and the track before taking a few fast laps. After cooling the car and the tires for a bit, Fittipaldi again went on the attack.
Although he did not set the timing screens on fire (which would have been quite miraculous, considering the Haas’ pace this season), Fittipaldi had a very competent first stint, with no big errors and seemingly hitting the targets set by the team. The Haas pitwall obviously did not ask him to do too much at the start, but the performance must be encouraging, especially considering the circumstances that brought about his debut. At the end of the stint, as Fittipaldi parked the car, the shutdown procedure was explained again to him, with the driver remarking that it is a lot of things to remember, to wit his engineer very supportively assured him that if he needs anything, the team is there for him, so he can concentrate on driving and not worry about these things. As a rookie having his first official outing, it must have been music to Fittipaldi’s ears.
For his second stint, he went out on softs and promptly set a few fast laps, handling the car nicely throughout. He seemed at ease in the cockpit, and did not seem to be feeling any pressure as he calmly set his laps. The car’s limitations are still obvious, but it did seem as if Fittipaldi was not leaving a lot of time on the table. That is, until he wrecked his set of softs (a very nice stream of profanities followed), which robbed him of valuable track time.
He finished the session in P19, a bit under a second behind Kevin Magnussen in P17, 0.3 behind Latifi and ahead of Aitken by 0.110. As his first experience in an official F1 session, this was a good start and something he can build upon towards a good showing on Sunday.
I know it is silly national pride only, but it was very nice to see the Brazilian flag on the side of a Formula 1 car again.
submitted by F1-Editorial to formula1 [link] [comments]

[Lets Build] Interesting Bartenders/Tavernkeepers

Lets build one hundred different tavern owners to make taverns more interesting!
Die Roll Result
1 Davis Owensby - A retired farmer who converted his old barn into a tavern. This tavern keeper brews all his own beers with hops that he grows. He will sit and talk about farming for hours, if you let him. He is worried about his cows going missing, and suspects the ogres in the hills are to blame.
2 The Ghost of Sel'seren - This tavern is haunted by the previous tavern keeper who died a few years ago. Sel'seren was a gorgeous elven woman who treated all her guests like family. People who stay the night in this inn report having their covers being pulled over them on cold nights on their own, and mugs of ale being refilled on their own.
3 Mugsy - The ex-criminal Mugsy is a goblin who pulled off a BIG heist in his past, and is using the tavern as a cover to stay under the radar. He speaks fluent Thieve's Cant and usually takes a liking to rogue players. He charges paladins extra.
4 Slunk Copperpot - Slunk is a goblin stripper who recently came into possession of her own tavern because the previous owner died of mysterious circumstances. Slunk was always his favorite dancer, and he left the tavern to her in her will. The strange thing is, he died within days of telling Slunk that information. What a coincidence!
5 Al'Ashir - This foreigner from the desert is looking to start his new business in a land far from his home. He is overly accommodating, and typically cooks all the meals himself. If the patrons aren't used to desert cuisine, they may find it particularly on the dry side.
6 Thain D’ulbris - A former adventurer who says he has traveled with all the great heroes though none of his stories match up he is a portly fun loving man. Though he is a bit loud he has ties to the rebels though he doesn’t advertise this other than his rampant and aggressive nationalism he uses as a cover.
7 Lily - This charming, attractive Elven woman always seems to know exactly what to say to cheer up patrons and get them talking. A town drunk swears that she's actually a disguised monster and the head of a local organized crime syndicate.
8 Mimi - This enchanted wizard's familiaapprentice runs the bar, using her telekinetic abilities in place of hands. The bar features a variety of exotic drinks from across the world and even some extraplanar ones (dangerous and highly expensive drinks only available with a reservation and advance order).
9 Nimue - This bright red horned tiefling has spent quite a bit of money on the decor of her bar, which is themed after hell. The barestaurant is upscale, and the food and drinks, while good, are pricy. This is a popular spot for the children of nobility to attend. The bartender has acquired several rocks enchanted with Nystul's Magic Aura, which she has put in the foundations in order to create an "aura of evil" around the place.
10 Kra'ax Three Claw - The hulking Half-Dragon is surprisingly well mannered, but will violently throw out anyone they learn takes part in the trapping of animals. They lost their left foot to an owlbear trap while traveling the wilds and sorely miss going on long treks through the untamed wilderness. Will buy or trade at a very fair price for fresh wild berries and unique stones.
11 Grin Stoneboot - A stout dwarf, with fiery red hair and no beard, that owns and operates a tavern carved entirely from one large stone block. He’s known for his wild tales of his missing flying monkey. Every time one of his patrons asks him something he always manages to lead the conversation toward his missing monkey (Nam). Rumor has it that Grin shaved his beard and won’t regrow it until he finds his lost friend. I’m sure Grin would have a fantastic reward for the player that found poor Nam.
12 Orx Thrallkeep - former gladiator, living his best life running a bar with a solid connection to the local sporting events community and betting parlors. His favorite weapon, a silver trident, is more than just decoration behind the bar.
13 Abeg Two-Smiles - reformed thief, he was horribly scarred by an angry tavern owner during his early life and eventually returned from his adventuring days to not only buy the bar itself but also to help guide young, troubled future thieves by honing their skills and boasts that anyone able to successfully steal a mug from his bar will drink free for a year. So far, none have been able to do so.
14 Juli Wise (formerly Jani the Jannkiller) - druid with a focus on elemental magic, she's laying low for the time being until the next planar alignment allows her return to some mysterious place where her allies are waiting. In the meantime, she's keeping busy and trying get information from every traveler staying at her roadside inn.
15 Herk - a goblin who found the perfect score in treasure hunting - dead adventuring groups. His specialty is building quiet, lethal traps and placing them in front of already-cleared dungeons after the adventurers have entered. They die, he collects the loot and puts it to work building a safe space for his extended family. Remarkably, he's happier running a tavern than he ever was living in dungeons and caves.
16 Josh - A well-mannered ogre. Runs a small tavern on the edge of town, and it's clear that he puts a lot of love into it. His family was kidnapped for a gladiatorial arena, meant to test fighters prowess. Josh could never really stand the sight of blood, so he opted to take on the position of cook for the combatants in the arena. He's very self-conscious about his size, but he's a gentle giant, and a friendly soul. Speaks with a slight New Zealand accent.
17 Weiss and Jaded - an Aasimar and Tiefling Wife/Husband duo. Weiss mans the bar putting patrons to ease with her holy feminine charm while Jaded in the back is the Cook and Brewmaster known for his signature drink Devil Rose Ale. If asked about their relationship they'll simply state that it was originally a joke to screw with friends but they learned to truly love each other.
18 Lurag Strongbrew - Lurag is a retired Dwarven barbarian. He made it his mission in life to find the lost mead recipe of the legendary Dwarven brewer, Gilgoth Honeybeard. Once he retrieved it, he settled down and opened a tavern to share the legendary brew with the world.
19 Meef, Störsk, and Gjël - A trio of gnomes who take turns bussing tables, cooking, and bartending. Tavern is built into the bottom of a cliff-face and the goblins added wooden structure to turn a large hollow into a serviceable, if somewhat cramped for medium and larger characters. They each have small wooden protrusions on tight fitting jerkins that attach on the back of the each shoulder. They use these to boost eachother up and grab things from the top shelves. The food and beverages are mostly fungi-based with some options for everybody. They all complain of the smell if asked to cook meat, but will aquiesce and make the food without further qualm.
20 Kareem Sandjabar - A mage who runs the tavern liberal use of mage hand, unseen servant, summons, and other magical means. Keeps a pet mimic named Boorf in the tavern that likes to prank people by turning into mugs and foot stools. Will pay handsomely for self-washing dishes because he cant stand the way his minions clean them.
21 Elias Alondir - A high elf mage who seems a bit out of place running a tavern. Being a bit of a germaphobe, he has several unseen servants as his wait staff as well as his psudodragon that collects payment and tips. Elias never touches the coins from his customers, instead dumping it all into a chest with Mage Hand and cleaning it later. When the tavern gets busy, the high elf gets a bit of anxiety and copes by letting out small laughs and chuckles as he converses with his patrons. The name of the tavern? The Laughing Mage.
22 Iphin - A minor god of alcohol who got bored just being in his realm, sells stranded drinks for cheep and high quality drink for exorbitant prices, can cure hangovers for a price.
23 Chime - This kenku is the owner and operator of Three Crows tavern/inn. The main drink is made in house and is called the three crows. Upon taking the first drink of a freshly poured Three Crows the drinker feels a burp coming but when they open their mouth to burp they let out three caws (bird sounds) the bigger the drink you take the louder the caws should be, the smaller the sip the more quiet. Chime being a Kenku and having difficulty with communication has signs all around his tavern, not just menu/room and board, but also common sayings and phrases that he’ll point to when he doesn’t feel like interacting Backstory Chime a retired Pirate, he was The first mate to the famous Captain Dread. He retired after he was injured in a battle with the Royal Navy.
24 Littlebob Mancoon is a retired (from adventuring) halfling rogue with prison tattoos on his face. Barrel chested and rather tall for a halfling, he has a dead pan sense of humor but always raises one eyebrow when he's joking. Deep voiced, he is a quick talker who says "ya ya" and "no ya" alot. Always a gambler, he won this tavern called the Way Way in a high stakes game of Kiriki while incarcerated. He has a special where you roll 2 dice and are served drinks according to the outcome. If you roll a 1 and a 2 it's on the house. He also charges half price for those that order in thieves cant.
25 Vorrakas Crixush - Red dragonborn paladin-turned-mercenary-turned tavern owner. Despite suffering great tragedy in his life, he is a stern, yet friendly and fatherly figure. A life-time of adventuring has made him a veritable font of wisdom on the subject, and many up-and-coming adventurers come to him for advice. Runs the Red Fang tavern and inn with his old friend and sworn-brother, the dwarf Hjolthrun Bronzeheart. Mess with his wait staff at your peril. Don't mess with his adoptive drow daughter if you wish to live a long life.
26 Casémone Cosmone - A grey-skinned, brown-haired and ram-horned retired Lyre-playing Bard that runs a feywild-style tavern and claims himself to be a Faun. Drinks and dishes are named after imaginary feywild herbs, shrooms and berries, and tables are engraved with rings to make them look like tree stumps. Truth of the matter is he is simply a Tiefling that looks vaguely Faun-like and attempts to use this as a trick to get customers. Locals are usually aware of this, but an unassuming stranger may find themselves tricked. Despite knowing the trick, locals still come for the unique atmosphere and Casémone's bright smile and relentless dedication to the facade.
27 Hjolthrun Bronzeheart - Dwarven ex-mercenary, now part-owner and brewmaster of the Red Fang tavern and inn. A jolly old soul always willing to share a few tales to anyone who asks. Spends his days experimenting with new types of alcoholic drinks, from making wine from watermelons to trying to recreate an old recipe that includes slime from a gelatinous cube. His most prized possession is a reinforced dwarven adamantine beer stein his calls Fimbul'kheled (Great Mug). Mess with his wait staff are your peril. Don't mess with his drow sworn-niece if you wish to live a long life.
28 Aialla, a human bard who failed to make it in the big city and now runs an inn focused on performances. This way she can play all she wants. She's not amazing but not horrible either. Here anyone can play or read. In fact you need to perform or the price of your meal is doubled. What you perform is up to you, but each customer must do something on stage to get the discount.
29 Angus Throwbeard - a surly dwarf that walks around on stilts, making him seven and a half foot tall.
30 Dirk Prophet- Assimar Bartender with a love of spiced and mulled drinks. He stands at 6'5" and has golden hair with silver freckles. The most popular drink he makes is called Celestials call, it is 3 part vodka, one part berry juice, bitters and a sprinkling of mint and spices and a touch of silver dust. A retired bard he has his lute about the bar and can sometimes be caught playing on slow nights.
31 Boogle the Gnome - He has a pack of weasels that help him tend the bar.
32 Fizz the Kenku - who repeats your order back in your own voice. The "Fizz" is literally the sound of a sudsy beer being poured.
33 Father Endros - Tends bar at a location run by the local church. He and his fellow monks brew beer in the name of their diety.
34 Misty Spring - A hard as nails half elf who was raised by a nature loving human parent and now hates that lifestyle, almost as much as she hates her name. She hasn't left the confines of the city she lives in for years.
35 Floria - A sweet halfling barkeep who just wants to be everyone's mother. She has her regular's meals waiting for them when they clock out of their shifts. She is VERY attentive with her patrons.
36 Umlog and Nevell aka "the beauty and the beast". Umlog is a literal troll, yet an extraordinary one. He's as intelligent as a troll can be and actually not a bad fellow. He is well read and has particularly deep knowlegde of local laws. He acquired his tavern in a remote deal via an exchange of letters. No one knew a troll was the buyer, before the deal was done. People in this area -close to the feywoods- are very keen on honoring deals and contracts and thus, somewhat begrudgingly abstained from gathering their torches and pitchforks. The success of the "Green side of Life" -that's the name of the tavern- is not only based on Umlog's craftiness, though. A nymph named Nevell works in the tavern at the side of Umlog. She is hospitality personified, a skilled chef, baker and singer. Nobody except them seems to know how they ended up together, but they run a really homely place in a village on the edge of civilization.
37 Pierce "Ears" Moldun, a balding human with normal sized, non-pierced ears, is the owner of Sweet Relethe. He is always looking down, at the drink he is pouring, the bar he is polishing, or the food he is cooking. He is a man of few words. Tell him, "Ears, I need to give away a story," and leave a proper sum on the bar. You will know what his service is worth if you truly need it. It may be expensive, but rarely more than one can pay. The price is different for every story, but if you do not offer enough, he will know after a quick glance at you. He will shake his head and continue with his work. If your coin is sufficient, he will nod his head, then get the dark blue bottle down from the top shelf. Slowly. Carefully. The bottle is beautifully made, but you find yourself unable to describe it apart from the color. He will pour a tiny shot, small as a thimble, before replacing the bottle and pulling you a beer to go with it. He will tell you that it's best to drop the shot in the beer then drink it slowly as you tell your story. It is best to trust him on this. As you begin your story, he will look up at you with eyes the same color as the bottle, and you will not be able to look away. He will listen intently as you tell your story, and as the words pass your lips they will also pass out of your memory. The regulars say that even if someone is sitting right next to you, they will not hear a word, just the quiet mumbling of a slow moving river. You will leave Sweet Relethe no longer possessed by your story, not in the slightest upset at your expenditure, and quick to recommend Ears of Sweet Relethe to anyone who seems in need of his service.
38 Ripzicki Papqat - Gnomish owner of "The Shimmer and Shine," Rip is known for drinks that pack a punch stronger than their small size lets on. An accomplished but eccentric alchemist, Rip has taken to testing out the effects of his drinks at his inn.
39 Shanassa the Viridescent - Dryad owner of "The Cornicopia," Shanassa's inn is actually a tree magically manipulated to house guests. Unfortunately, she had to close down the tables balanced on branches until she could figure out how to get drunk customers to stop falling off.
40 Arthur "Art" Igneous Ficer - Art is a an average sized fellow with sallow skin and sunken eyes. To give you an idea of his general appearance: despite owning a bar and inn for travelers, it looks like Art is the one that really could use some rest. But Art is a pleasant man with a passion for magically enchanted items. He gladly will talk to any traveler with such an item about the item. He finds it all fascinating. He will tell you that he used to dabble a little, but he couldn't find too many volunteers. So, he opened a bar and inn, and that pays pretty well. He keeps the price low, and that keeps travelers coming in. If you decide to stay for the night, all weapons need to be left in his care before you head up to your rooms. He's had too many drunken fights break out in the dormitory area, he will tell you. For any party member that blacks out at the bar or decides to stay the night, the DM must roll a D4 when the party member checks out of the inn. You see, Art never did give up his love of magic item creation, and he is desperately working on figuring out how to enchant weapons and items in a single night. DM rolled a 4? Surprise! An item of yours, at the DM's choosing, has acquired a properly functioning effect, also of your DM's choosing! Rolled a 3? Well, it's the same as 4, except the DM will also roll a 1d10 on your every use/attack, and a 1 will mean that your item misfired in wild magic (DM's choice). A 2? Oof. Well, it is the same as rolling a 3, except your item is completely unmagical except for the 1d10 chance of wild magic. And if the DM rolls a 1, then you were significantly robbed of either money or an item. Making magical weapons and items costs a lot, after all, and Art has a bit of rogue in him, it seems. Also, for any night a party member stays at the inn, there is a 1d6 chance of an unsatisfactorily explained small fire breaking out overnight. The following morning after such a fire, Art normally looks a little worse for wear.
41 Judy Krom - Owner of the Dog's Ear Inn, she learned a spell of invisibility to "clean up messes". most patrons are none the wiser but casting a spell to see invisible things reveals that the cups and bar top are coated with years of dirt and grime. The town isn't really sure why people are getting so sick all the time but the bar is always packed because Judy is such a charismatic person. She'll tell you stories for hours, but none of them are true.
42 Will Hornton - This bar called The Screaming Pickle has been in his family for 5 generations. People come from miles around for his pickle hooch. He never married and has no son to pass the bar to and it's getting late in his years. However, the business has slowed since the latest news of the campaign has scared customers off and he isn't sure he will have had anything to pass on to a kin anyway.
43 Abigail Turnsprout - A jolly halfling who is an avid gardener. She spices her drinks with unique herbs grown in her garden just behind her tavern, The Tipsy Turnip. Her prized Top Shelf Brew has a secret recipe of herbs and spices that many have tried and failed to obtain.
44 Tally- an older, buff halfling woman who speaks with a country accent and repeatedly calls the players "honey." Used to be an adventurer and tells stories of the fights she once found herself in.
45 Bob, Jim, and Clyde- three gnomes in a trenchcoat. They all have completely different personalities, opinions of different races, and pricing. They go by whatever the name is of the gnome whose head is on top that day!
46 Oldeye Jasper - An elderly human with one white lazy eye. He's warm and inviting to people who come into his bar, but if you let him, he'll talk to you for hours about his conspiracy theories like Lizardfolk secretly running the kingdom, or Fey leaving changelings in place of local children, and the mayor being secretly a swarm of pixies in disuse. But these are just the ramblings of an old man. Right?...
47 Sweeps - An animated broomstick that serves drinks and cleans the tavern 24/7. This would be extremely advantageous if he weren't so incredibly clumsy. He was made by the previous owner and now the current owners don't know how to get rid of him.
48 Sloppy' Joe Reznar. A Half Orc who earned his nickname for often being drunker than his customers.
49 Tivali - A female tabaxi with 5 young kids all the same age who love roaming around the tables asking adventurers tons of questions. They will sometimes place wagers or entertain for money in order to compete with their siblings for who can make the most money in one night. If they were to ever get into trouble, Tivali would suddenly be there scooping them into her arms. She's a racing champion who's known to be able to run faster than a falcon can fly.
50 The Tavern - There is no tavern keeper because this magical tavern is it's own keeper. Food appears on tables seconds after ordering it, and all you must do to pay is toss coins onto the wooden floor which immediately disappear without even a sound. There are no rooms available in this tavern, it is simply for enjoyment only. Those who forget to pay the bill tend do go missing the next day...
51 Amie, Aedricks, and Harlen. Triplets who’ve inherited a tavern. They are a Human, Elf, and Half-Elf and the Human and Elf are always feuding, leaving the Half-Elf to mediate. When the heroes arrive, the two are in such a bad fight, it must be resolved before the party can rest there for the night.
52 Elane of Juunvanfel. She is a young bartender, daughter of the ancient bartender who was a mythomaniac. Everyone knows it, but He was harmless. He was saying he was a prince of a far away land called Juunvanfel, but no one believe him. Elane talk about it with a lot of humour, and there's no chance she is really a princess. But she is really kind and charismatic, and everyone in town called her Little Queen. (if you want the lie to be true, why not!)
53 Drubogg. An orc (or half-orc) who was a raider in the past. After 15 years of jail, the local authority had free him with mercy. One of the tavern in the town was dying because the bartender was very sick, and Drubogg help him to run his business. Since 3 year, this impressive orc are a meticulous bartender and the town seems to accept him quit gently, even with his violent past. He take care of the previous bartender with a cold, but sincere kindness.
54 Jomag and Marsia. A couple who run the tavern since 20 years. The love between them is still joyful. But sometimes, they seems to be quit melancholic. If the players want to know something about it, the bartenders don't want to spread the information. But the customers will respond : they suffer they can't have children. Maybe, if one day the PCs find an orphan, they can make them very happy.
55 One-Day-He. A clever halfling who is a sorcerer who had change his name to make a contract with a powerful, but naive, Wealth Spirit. After 10 years of labor in this tavern, he will have access to an impressive amount of gold. Technically, he trade his soul... but the contract say "One-day-he will give me his soul after he receive the gold.". He's very happy and boastful about that. Maybe he's not so clever, because it's obvious for the PCs that all rogue people in town just wait the day who One-Day-He will receive the gold to steal him. Maybe the Wealth Spirit is vexed to had been so naive, and will exchange the soul of One-Day-He with a lot of gold? Who knows!
56 Holt - A man in his mid thirties whos never left the town- and doesn't intend to. He knows everyone, and everyone knows him, and seems to owe him a favor. He's always willing to help out, going to great lengths to do so, and is very warm and welcoming to all in his tavern. The patrons of his tavern return his favors, and as such he holds many regular customers, many of who will jumpy quick to stop a destructive bar fight.
57 Nora Durthane and Agnes Baumann, a dwarf and human couple. Agnes keeps the ledger, walking through the tavern room like a queen through court, greeting every patron with a smile. Nora runs the kitchens, providing hearty fare for adventurers and locals. Their tiefling son helps run the bar and remove belligerent patrons.
58 Trish One-Eye - Owner and operator of the rickety old dive bar down by the docks. An old woman with a red embroidered eyepatch and short grey hair. She secretly can talk to rodents, and so can be an excellent source of rumors and information, if you get on her good side. Serves a spicy 'meat stew' which may or may not be made of cat. Will tell lewd jokes and talk shit about her ex-girlfriends if you get her drunk.
59 Eigen Renn: A tall, heavily built human with a smirking smile and an exceptionally loud laugh. Always knows just what to say to break up a fight or set up favorite patrons for romance. Full of stories, most of which are obvious lies that you can't help but half believe. Remembers everyone's first name, their drink, their birthday, their type, and their misadventures (which he will happily and loudly relate to the entire bar--but all in good fun). Ruddy faced, with scant blond hair and tired, grey-blue eyes. He brags that he is son of a tavernkeeper, who was son of a tavernkeeper, who was son of a fallen princess and a tavern keeper. He isn't. He also isn't Eigen Renn. In another time and a distant country he had another name, the name of a slave trader notorious for his charm and cunning. He dealt in "specialties:" finding just the right slave for your particular, and highly expensive taste. Children, oddities, half-breeds, even sentient monsters were all his trade. Rumor says he once sold a nobleman his own son after faking the boy's death. Another says he sold two rivals to each other, then sold both to a particularly inventive necromancer. Nothing was beneath him, and no one was beyond his reach. An elaborate magical ruse allowed him to escape his old life (with pockets full of gold and magical protections for his "retirement"), he now amuses himself playing tavern keeper and practicing his own slaver's skills by manipulating the lives of his clients. Whether his enemies find him again--and if they do whether he is worth saving--is up to you.
60 Bart Keep - an irresponsible innkeeper who runs a shoddy tavern. The food and drinks are low quality, brawls happen too often, a lot of stuff get stolen, and one time a pack of rats invaded the tavern. And he never notices because he says that he's busy with 'other things'. And when he means other things, he means looking at erotic literature and pleasuring himself. No wonder no one even bothered to shut down his tavern yet.
61 Alice Bob - An innkeeper of a tavern with a horrible reputation who tries her hardest to make her tavern better, and yet she only makes things worse. Turns out that the tavern is cursed by a witch after Alice refused to serve her, thus cursing the tavern with bad luck.
62 Xaero Xsisth: A lizardfolk woman, exiled in her youth from her tribe for being highly intelligent, which lizardfolk generally shun. Growing up in the shadows and alleys of a grand city, she learned how to cook, bake, brew and serve by observation. Asking her any question about tribal life may cause her to have an emotional breakdown. Xaero loves hearing tales of daring and adventure and if the story is good enough, she may just let you have a snack for free!
63 Jasmine Mcaull - A blue macaw parrot aarokocroa who serves up any rum-based drink with a song and a smile. She often requests bards to try their hand at playing salsa music in her tavern and is known to give a couple of unsolicited tips to the adventurers that seem to appreciate the unusual music. Her tavern stands out for its bright colors and attempts at island decor.
64 Torin Pliedes - A solicitous satyr who spends half his time behind the bar and half his time tormenting the serving wenches. He has a permanent "Help Wanted" sign in the window as he's a cruddy boss and most don't tolerate his attentions for long. He's so preoccupied that half the time he pours the beer but doesn't collect the money he's owed.
65 Falstaff Argon - A stout half-orc who boasts about his accomplishments as an adventurer and proudly displays his war axe on an ebony plaque behind the bar. He challenges adventurers to take the bigger jobs and bigger hunts if he hears them deliberating in his tavern. He was injured badly in his last adventure and decided only then to retire, though it is clear he misses the life. He pays nobly for a good stag or boar and is known to post hunts of unusual creatures that plague the area.
66 Grimm - This tavern is actually run by a number of different people and the main bartender switches out every single day to an entirely new person - but behind the scenes, it’s just a single changeling practicing their acting.
67 Illia the Wise: A handsome dwarf woman, Illia is actually Illixthalix, an adult Gold Dragon who is locked in her dwarf form due to a run-in with a Fey spirit decades ago. Became a tavern keeper initially to keep her ear to the ground to try and find someone who could break the curse, but has found that she quite likes living amongst mortals. The local government is aware of her true draconic nature, and she has a tense agreement to advise them on matters concerning dragons, historical events, and magic items in exchange for them not causing her trouble. She can temporarily assume her true form, but doing so causes a good deal of discomfort and she is unable to hold the form for longer than a few moments (quite long enough to intimidate unruly patrons to settle down however). Is THE expert on the architecture and infrastructure of the now-nonexistant country of Grecciyn and has authored four books on the subject.
68 Talensvar - Talensvar is a highly civilized ogre who dresses eloquently every night and keeps an immaculate establishment. The servers are all well-dressed, well-spoken and polite. Some are half-orcs, and some of the kitchen staff and plate clears dishwashers etc are goblins as well as human. It's a high-end inn. my game talents are lost two of his friends under mysterious circumstances in a battle and will pay adventurers to find them. He is well spoken polite tolerant, everything you don't expect an ogre to be. However he doesn't put up with any nonsense, except from a friend of his who's a local hedge wizard, who will be happy to join a party just for some pay at the end of it. He uses spells that often spectacularly fail, usually with somewhat comic but not too harmful results.
69 Rondo “Double Dizzy” Thimblebottom: A retired Gnome Ranger Beastmaster who hung up his adventuring cap after his lifelong friend and pet Giant Badger, Dizzy, was slain in combat. He’s now the proprietor of Dizzy’s Pub, a dive-y but well-loved pub by locals who come to hear Rondo recount tales of his adventuring days, some comical, some downright frightening. A giant painting (by gnome standards, it’s only 60”x48”) of Dizzy curled up resting under a tree is adorned above a fireplace in the pub.
70 Gina and Reyna, Gina is a kenku woman who owns the tavern and helps run it if the party has any questions she will point to Reyna her adopted daughter and tell them 'Ask Reyna'. Reyna is a half eleven girl that is 19 she has been teaching Gina how to talk more and is more then willing to answer any of the party's questions.
71 Tolbin Shortwick, a halfling rouge who speaks thieves' cant and has a few drugs and basic potions that you can get if you speak thieves' cant to him. There are investigations on people getting robbed at other taverns and with further investigation you will learn it was Tolbin or if you speak thieves' cant Tolbin will tell you it was him.
72 Chopper - A half-orc who cultivates rumors that they chop off body parts of those who dont pay their tab. They keep a few bottles on display with fingers and toes preserved inside, and have a ritual requiring those who want to start a tab, "Kiss the Toe" by taking a drink from one of the bottles. Truth is, Chopper secretly knows a Gravedigger who can procure parts, no questions asked.
73 Sweet Leaves - A small treant. The only type of alcohol that's served in their establishment is a special kind of Kirsch. This is because Sweet Leaves makes all their alcohol with their own cherries. As a result, Sweet Leaves' tavern is small but popular to a small group interested in the Kirsch.
74 Virtus Swifttail - A slightly overweight centaur in his late 20s who decided that he preferred city life over the nomadic life of his former tribe. While he's chatty and provides good service, he often ends up bumping things accidentally with his horse half.
75 Barrus Fymar - A large human man who's in his early 60s who towers over most of his guests. He used to be a paladin adventurer, but he lost his sword arm during a battle with a nightwalker and retired to become a tavern keep. He still displays the magical greatsword he used on his journey inside his tavern, but it's now unusable by him.
76 Sinead, Iron Golem operator of J.J. Killahans - Sinead was originally conjured as a bouncer for the rowdy establishment. The original owner, J.J., left the bar to Sinead in his will. Sinead runs the bar, though hospitality is often beyond her reach. She plays the same 3 tavern songs on a 15 minute loop, as 15 minutes is more than adequate time for a customer to consume their drink (and promptly leave).
77 Silent Joey is abnormal because he's, well, silent. Normally this would be an unacceptable obstacle for a bartender, but Joey is a master drink-maker and surprisingly good at interacting with customers. He's a very good listener, too.
78 Greenscarf Tabitha has the power of appearance-changing but can't control it. She wears a green scarf so others can identify her, as it's anyone guess what face you'll see when you walk in each evening.
79 Malamenmar is a polite and talkative guy who runs a quiet inn on a mountain road. But once a month a mysterious man comes into the bar and Malamenmar drops everything to cater to this guy. If pressed he will reply that the man is a very dear friend and he values his comfort highly.
80 Ranold & Ezra Nikos are brothers. Outgoing Ranold tends bar, reserved Ezra handles the supplies and finances. The strange thing is that the two are never seen in the same place at once.
81 A blind bartender that doesn’t realize his formerly-white rag is dirtying the glasses, but he still keeps perfect track of who orders what.
82 Kurdran Brewhammer - This Dwarf is the last remaining Brewhammer, legendary brewers that were known far and wide for a huge variety of beers. Kurdran is a retired adventurer who loves battle and action. He has a tall orange mohawk and a big bushy beard and is extremely proud of his family heritage. He's very friendly and loves to tell tales of his various adventures, but if provoked he is a fierce barbarian. With a swig of beer, he's ready to brawl!
83 Captain Andor Gray is the innkeeper of Sparrow's Rest. He was the captain of the Night Wind, a smuggling ship, but is now earning a mostly honest living. He retired after a shipwreck that killed most of his crew. He still keeps "Pickle", a green parrot, who can usually be found in the common room. The bird will squawk "awk stay outta the grog awk" whenever someone refills their mug from the cask that Gray keeps out, free for the sailors who can't afford better. You can almost always find a fence buying goods there (no questions asked), and rumors say there's a hidden tunnel from the cellar that leads under the city wall to an abandoned quarry.
84 Joost is the friendly innkeeper of the Crown and Crescent inn. He's either a very tall dwarf, or maybe a half-dwarf (no one's sure, and he won't say). He has rust-colored hair and a braided beard, which he tucks into his apron.
85 Kósh is the half-orc innkeeper of the Outside Inn, just outside the city of Redcliff. He named it, but he doesn't really get the joke. Surprisingly, the inn does good business, even though it has few amenities except for a large stable and a good location if you're just passing through the city.
86 Zhirella is the attractive female half-elf innkeeper (and madame) of the Golden Bush tavern. It's very popular for its high-class courtesans.
87 Egan 'Rusty' Ironmane is the dwarf innkeeper of the Silver Eel Tavern. He was formerly a fisherman and before that a soldier.
88 Hard'ach "Hardy" Sl'avis - A dragonborn with the mannerisms of a dwarf, he inherited his tavern from his grandfather, Sil'bahn. He has a knack for making spicy meals for his patrons, and is quite a friend to make, knowing all of the goings-on in the town.
89 Cressida and Corinth Vor Haishen - a Dwarven couple with an adopted minotaur for a son far taller than either of them. They'll give you a discount if you can tell their son a story that'll keep him entertained for a bit, and want your input on where to send such a curious young boy to learn more. An academy, a monastery, they want input!
90 Skaesgolr the Tired - Skaesgolr the Tired of the Uthgardt will tolerate near enough anything, a fair fight is welcome, but assassins and thieves are not. He has much pride, and still believes he honours Uthgar, both with his past, and his present. His greatest achievement, a Giant sized great axe, it can be seen broken and damaged, hung in it’s ruined majesty on the rear wall above the bar. Anyone who challenges his idea or faith in his God will be challenged to a fight and/or be made to leave. Growing tired of finding the next great challenge, he claims that if Uthgar wants him to die in some great battle, it will have to find him - here he will wait... warm, well fed, with a belly fully of ale and a sack full of silver.
91 Molly Rexxen - A red-headed human female who always wears a bandana over her hair. She's a retired high level fighter who was once a soldier, and was ridiculed because she was a woman amongst the guard. When her city was surprised attacked by a neighboring band of monsters, she devised a plan and led the charge that protected the city with no casualties. After this, she turned down a promotion and quit to build her tavern and create an adventuring guild.
92 Modeus Jackson - a retired high level bard who runs "The Pocket" Inn. Often humming as he works and any action he does seems to follow the rhythm to an unheard song. In fact anyone who stays in "The Pocket" for long enough will find their actions more rhyrhmic than usual, joining in a symphony of synchronized cultery clanking, mastication, foot tapping under harmonising musical conversations and even melodious arguments. Modeus takes extra delight in serving Bard patrons who bring their own instruments and will offer discounts and advice in return for a quick performance.
93 Krall Razorthorn - Former half-orc warrior turned tavern owner, he exchanged his armor for a tuxedo. He runs a high class tavern called The Silk Sheik Tavern, specializing in dainty cocktails and high end drinks.
94 Borgrarg - Having amassed a fortune adventuring, this dwarf opened Drink. The tavern hasn't make so much as a copper piece in 4 years. He's been drunk all this time giving away drinks to anyone who walks in the door. Lucky for him, he's located in a small village, now known for its sobriety.
95 Marty Oggbin - smallish, middle-aged human, with a slight hunch on his back. Born and raised locally. Marty is forever the optimist and mysteriously manages to spin any traveler's downtrodden tale. He often gives away food to those most in need.
96
97
98
99
100
submitted by dndspeak to d100 [link] [comments]

[Share] My Music Library Index (861GB)

Hello everyone. I made a post about two months ago sharing my library index (646GB at the time). I was working with 400GB of space back then so I went with a request format so people could comment and request titles on my list. However, I have since exceeded that storage space limit through the sheer number of requests I've been getting so I decided to purchase more space to accommodate everyone's needs. As a result, I now have enough space to upload my entire library which is what I have done. Please enjoy!

aHR0cHM6Ly9tZWdhLm56L2ZvbGRlci96bDBtR1FDUSN3S21ORzVlUmdDVmxSeC0wUTlFQS1R

*This keeps coming up on my last post, so I will reiterate it here:
This is not a request post. I'm sharing what I have in my library. Please do not request titles that aren't listed below. Thank you. :)

If there's no quality specified, it's FLAC at 16bit / 44.1 or 48 kHz
[320] MP3 at 320kbps, when this number is 3 digits and not 16/24 it is always MP3 with the number indicating kbps
[24] FLAC at 24 bit, if the sampling rate is higher than 44.1/48kHz it will be specified
[MQA] will be specified after bit-rate
Discographies are studio albums mostly, some include EPs/Mixtapes/Live albums as well
All albums listed are complete, unless otherwise noted.
If there are multiple formats available within an album, they will be in separate sub folders.
Occasionally there will be albums with mixed formats, which will be noted.
There's a small percentage of titles that are labeled in FLAC but are actually upsampled MP3. Unfortunately I'm not quite sure which ones they are. I'd estimate this to be less than 3% of the collection.
Some video content are also included with certain titles.
I think that would be all for now. Please let me know if you have any concerns or questions below.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Chainz - Discography (2012-2020)[16~24/96]
2 Pac - 2Pacalypse Now, Strictly 4 My NIGGAZ, Me Against the World, All Eyez on Me, Americaz Most Wanted
8 Mile Original Soundtrack
8Ball - Lost
21 Savage - Slaughter King [320], Savage Mode, Savage Mode II [24]
50 Cent - Discography (2003-2014), Power of the Dollar EP+Unreleased, Guess Who's Back [Mixtape], The New Breed [Documentary CD], Get Rich or Die Tryin' OST, This is 50 [Mixtape], The Kanan Tape [Mixtape], Best Of [Compilation], Singles
112 - 112, Room 112
A Boogie wit da Hoodie - Artist, The Bigger Artist, Hoodie SZN, Artist 2.0 [24]
A Great Big World - Is There Anybody Out There? [320]
A$AP Ferg - Furious Ferg, Floor Seats II [24]
A$AP Rocky - Live.Love. ASAP, Long. Live. ASAP, At. Last. ASAP [24], Testing [24]
Aaryan Shah - In the Making, The Arrival: Part I+II [16~24]
AC/DC - Discography (1976-2020)[16~24/96]
Ace Hood [320] - Discography (2008-2013)
Mixtape: Ace Won't Fold, All Bets on Ace, Final Warning, Street Certified, The Preview, I Do It.. For the Sport, The Statement, Body Bag Vol.1, Sex Chronicles, The Statement 2, Body Bag Vol.2, Starvation, Starvation II

ACG:
.hack_Sign OST 1+2 [320]
Castlevania - Akumajo Dracula Best Music Collections Box
Curse of Darkness - Prelude of Revenge
Harmony of Despair
Lament of Innocence
Lament of Innocence Limited Edition Music Sampler
Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate
Symphony of the Night
Death Note OST 1+2+3 [320]
Detective Conan OST 3
Final Fantasy Symphonic Suite
Final Fantasy VII OST
Final Fantasy VII Reunion Tracks
Final Fantasy VII Remake
Final Fantasy VIII
Final Fantasy X
Gensomaden Saiyuki - OST 1, Single Collection
Guilty Gear X - Heavy Rock Tracks, Rising Force of Gear Image Vocal Tracks
Guilty Gear XX OST
Guilty Gear XX - Sound Alive/A.S.H.
Hikaru no Go - Theme Song Selection
Howl's Moving Castle - OST [24], Symphony Suite [320]
Hunter x Hunter - OST 1+2+3, The Last Mission
Joe Hisaishi - Dream Songs/The Essential Joe Hisaishi [24]
Koudelka
Legend of Mana [320]
Madlax
My-HiME - OST 1+2
Neon Genesis Evangelion - Single Collection, "A Cruel Angel's Thesis" [24_192]
NieR:Automata [24]
Noir - OST 1+2+3
Ragnarok Online Complete Soundtrack
Rockman Zero: Remastered Tracks, Collection Soundtrack -résonnant vie-
Rockman Zero & ZX Sound Box (Zero 1+2+3+4, ZX, ZX Advent)
Rockman Zero/ZX Reploid Remixes
Rockman ZX: Soundsketch -ZX Gigamix-, ZX Tunes, ZXA Tunes
Rurouni Kenshin - OST 1 [320], OST 2+3+4, CD BOX [320], Director's Collection, Premium Collection, Songs, The Best Theme Collection
Shaman King - Comics Image Album, Melody of the Spirits, Osorezan Revoir ~au revoir~, Osorezan Revoir ~prologue to shaman~, Single Vocal Album, Vocal on Parade!!
Slayers TRY Treasure BGM
Spirited Away [320]
The Legend of Zelda - Majora's Mask, Ocarina of Time, 25th Anniversary Special Orchestra CD
Tsubasa Chronicle - OST 1+2+3+4
Yu-Gi-Oh! Theme Song Single Collection
Z.O.E. - Zone of the Enders, Anubis: Zone of the Enders
Zenki - Character Song Collection 2, OST 2 Raigou Shourin!!
軒轅劍三外傳:天之痕 - 三個人的時光
風色幻想 - 1+SP+2+3+4+5

Adam Ben Ezra - Discography (2015-2020)
Adam Lambert - Trespassing
Adam Lopez - The Popera, Showstopper, Till the End of Time
Adele - Discography (2008-2015)
Afek-T - Les brumes, "Impassible"
Agnes Obel - Philharmonics, Aventine, Citizen of Glass [24], Myopia [24]
Akon - Trouble
Alabama Shakes - Boys & Girls, Sound & Color
Alejandro Fernández - de noche - clasicos a mi manera, Confidencias [320]
Alicia Keys - Songs in A Minor
Aloe Blacc - Shine Through, Good Things, Lift Your Spirit
Aloosh - Separate, Ceramic [24/96]
Amber Run [320] - 5am, For a Moment I Was Lost
Amy Winehouse - Frank [24], Back to Black [24/96], Lioness: Hidden Treasures, At the BBC
Andrea Bocelli - Romanza, Verdi
Angra - Discography (1992 - 2010)[160~231, except Temple of Shadows in 16]
Anita Baker - Rhythm of Love
Anthony Ramos - The Freedom EP, The Good & The Bad
Ariana Grande - Discography (2013-2020)[16~24/MQA]
Arvo Part - Various works
Audiophile Analog Collection Vol. 2 [DSD256]
Aurora - Discography (2015-2019)[24, except Infections of a Different Kind in 16]
AZ - Doe or Die
Az Yet - Az Yet, She's Magic
Babyface - The Day
Bad Meets Evil - Hell: The Sequel
Ballet Class Music [320]
Banks - Discography (2014-2019)[16~24/MQA]
Basso Profondo from Old Russia
Belly - Another Day in Paradise, Inzombia, Mumble Rap, Immigrant
Beyoncé - 4, Beyoncé, Lemonade
Big Boi - Boomiverse
Bilal - 1st Born Second
Bill Evans Trio [320] - Explorations, Sunday at the Village Vanguard, Waltz for Debby
Bill Withers - Lovely Day: The Very Best of Bill Withers
Billie Eilish - Discography (2017-2020)
Birdy - Discography (2011-2016)
Bishop Briggs - EP [24MQA], Church of Scars [24MQA], Champions [24]
Black OST
Black Hill - Discography (2014-2019)[16~24]
Stvannyr - Secrets of the runes
Black Panther - Original Score [24], The Album [24], Wakanda Remixed [16]
Blindspotting - The Collins EP, The Miles EP
Bloom - Sinses
Blue - All Rise
Bob Marley & The Wailers - Legend
Bone Thugs-n-Harmony - Creepin on ah Come Up EP
Brent Faiyaz - A.M. Paradox EP, Sonder Son, Lost EP, Fuck the World
Bruno Mars - Discography (2010-2016)
Busta Rhymes - The Coming
Call Me By Your Name OST
Camila Cabello - Romance
Cardi B - Gangsta Bitch Music Vol.1 [128], UnderEstimated - The Tour Album [128], GBMV2 [128], Invasion of Privacy
Carolina Eyck - Discography (2008-2019)
Case - Open Letter
Céline Dion - All the Way... A Decade of Song, A New Day Has Come, Courage
Charlotte Cardin - Big Boy EP, Main Girl EP
Charlotte Cardinale - Florescentia
Chase Holfelder - Major to Minor, Vol. 1+2
Chet Faker - Thinking in Textures, Built on Glass, Lockjaw
Childish Gambino - Camp, Because the Internet, 3.15.20, "This is America"
Chingy - Jackpot
Chloe x Halle [24] - Sugar Symphony EP, The Kids Are Alright, Ungodly Hour
Choral: Aliqua, Chor Leoni Men's Choir Discography (1998-2018), Christmas with The Princeton Singers, musica intima (clear), Rajaton (Boundless, Tarinoita), The Manitou Singers - Repertoire for Women's Voices, Vol. 2
Christina Aguilera - Christina Aguilera [320], Stripped, Back to Basics, Bionic, Lotus [320], Liberation [24]
Cirque du Soleil - Discography (1992-2015)[128~320, 3 albums in 16]
Clann [24] - Kin Fables, Seelie

Classical:
100 Great Symphonies
Bach - Selected Organ Works, The Famous Cantatas, The Six Motets
Beethoven - Complete String Quartets, Piano Sonata No.8 op.13 'Pathetique', Piano Sonata No.14 op.27 'Moonlight', Piano Sonata No.23 op.57 'Appassionata'
Brahms - Brahms on Life and Love, Requiem, Symphony No.1
Bruckner - Te Deum
Chopin Complete Piano Music [192]
Dvořák - Mass in D, Requiem, Symphony No.7+8+9
Fauré - Requiem
Glazunov - Violin Concerto in Am op.82
Grieg - Piano Concerto op.16 in Am
Liszt - 10 Hungarian Rhapsodies, Jorge Bolet - Favourite Piano Works, Piano Works
Mendelssohn - Symphony No.4, Violin Concerto in Em
Mozart - Clarinet Concerto in A, Concerto in C for Flute, Harp, Orchestra, Horn Concerto No.4, Piano Concerto No.20, Piano Concerto No.21, Requiem
Paganini - Salvatore Accardo plays Paganini's Guarneri del Gesu 1742
Schubert - Piano Sonata No.14+19
Schumann - Piano Concerto op.54 in Am
Tchaikovsky - Piano Concerto No.1, Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture, The Symphonies [192]
Verdi - Requiem
Vivaldi - Concerto in C for Violin and Double Orchestra, Concerto in D for Violin and Double Orchestra, The Four Seasons

clipping - CLPPNG [24], There Existed an Addiction to Blood
Coco OST
Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise
Corey Payette - Children of God, Les Filles du Roi
Craig David - Born to Do It, Slicker Than Your Average
Cris Derksen - The Cusp [320], The Collapse, Orchestral Powwow
Curtis Clearsky and the Constellationz - Indigifunk
D12 - Devil's Night, D12 World
Daley - Discography (2011-2017)
D'Angelo - Brown Suger, Black Messiah [24/96]
Darren Hayes - Spin
Daveed Diggs - Small THings to a Giant, Seven Nights in Chicago
David Morin - Every Colour
Deen Squad Mixtape 2015 [320]
Destino - Forte, Beginning Again
Destiny's Child - Destiny's Child, #1s
Disclosure - Caracal
DJ Danger Mouse - The Grey Album
DJ Drama - Quality Street Music 2
Dmitri Shostakovich - Symphony No.1+2+3+4+5+6+8+9+12+14+15, Violin Concerto No.1
DMX - It's Dark and Hell is Hot, Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood, ...And Then There Was X
Dr. Dre - 2001, Compton
Drake - So Far Gone [320], Thank Me Later [320], Take Care [320], Nothing Was the Same [320], If You're Reading This It's Too Late
Dream Theater - Discography (1989-2019)[16~24/96]
Dream Warriors - Subliminal Simulation
Drezus - Red Winter, Indian Summer
Dru Hill - Dru Hill, Enter the Dru
Dumbfoundead - Discography (2011-2016), Café Bleu, Inside/Outside [24]
Dylan Brady - All I Ever Wanted [24], Choker, Dog Show, This Car Needs Some Wheels
Eagles - Discography (1972-1979)[24/192]
Eazy-E - It's On (Dr. Dre) 187um Killa, Eternal E
Elijah Blake - Discography (2012-2019)
Eminem - Discography (1996-2020)[16~24/96]
En Vogue - Funky Divas
Enrique Iglesias - Enrique, Euphoria
ES Posthumus - Unearthed [320]
Evanescence - Discography (2003-2017)[16~24]
Fantastic Negrito - Discography (2014-2020)
Far East Movement - Free Wired
FKA Twigs - LP1, Magdalene
Flipsyde - Discography (2005-2012)[128~320]
Florence + the Machine - Discography (2009-2018)[16~24/96]
Flume - Skin [24]
For Vance - Live at Bangor Abbey [16], From Muscle Shoals [24]
Frank Ocean - Discography (2011-2016)[16~24]
Frank Sinatra - Ultimate Sinatra
Frozen OST
Frvrfriday - More Than You Know, Offline, WHOISFRIDAY [24]
Fugees - The Score
Future - Beast Mode [24], Future [24/96]
Gallant - Zebra [320]
Game of Thrones - S1-8 OST, Various Orchestra Albums, For the Throne
Gary Jules - Trading Snakeoil for Wolftickets
Get Out OST
Ghost - Meliora [24]
Ginuwine - Ginuwine... The Bachelor, 100% Ginuwine
Gorillaz - Discography (2001-2020)[24/MQA~24/96]
Grace VanderWaal [24] - Perfectly Imperfect, Just the Beginning
Guru - Jazzmatazz Vol. 1
GZA - Liquid Swords
Hamilton: An Americal Musical - Cast Recording, Hamildrops [AAC], Instrumentals [AAC], The Hamilton Mixtape [AAC]
Hans Zimmer - Batman Begins OST+Recording Session, The Dark Knight [24/96], Sherlock Holmes, Inception [16~24][5.1], The Dark Knight Rises [24/192], Intersteller [24], Blade Runner 2049, Live in Prague [24], The Classics [24/96], The Lion King (2019)[24]
Harry Potter OST
Hercules [192]
Higher Brothers - Black Cab, Five Stars
Hozier - Discography (2013-2019)[16~24]
Igorrr - Hallelujah
Il Divo - Discography (2004-2018)
In tha Beginning... There Was Rap
Ingrid Michaelson - Discography (2005-2014)
iskwē - iskwē, The Fight Within, acakosik
J. Cole [24] - 2014 Forest Hills Drive, Forest Hills Drive: Live
J.S. Ondara - Tales of America (The Second Coming) [24/192], Folk n' Roll Vol.1: Tales of Isolation [24]
Jacques Loussier Trio - Vivaldi- The Four Seasons
James Blake - Discography (2011-2020)
James Vincent McMorrow [320] - Early in the Morning, Post Tropical
Janelle Monáe - Discography (2010-2018)[16~24], Metropolis: Suite I (The Chase) EP
Janne - Meeting the Wolf EP
Jasmine Cephas Jones - Blue Bird
Jay-Z - Discography (1996-2017)[16~24]
JB the First Lady - Get Ready Get Steady, Indigenous Girl Lifestyle, Meant to Be, Righteous Empowered Daughter
Jeremih - That Body, All About You, Late Nights: The Album, Late Nights: Europe
Jeremy Dutcher - Wolastoqiyik Lintuwakonawa
Jessie Ware - What's Your Pleasure? [24]
Jhené Aiko - Chilombo [24/96]
Jimi Hendrix - Experience Hendrix- The Best of Jimi Hendrix
JMSN - Discography (2011-2019)
Joe - All That I Am, My Name is Joe
John Coltrane - Both Directions at Once/The Lost Album
John Legend - Discography (2005-2016)[320~16]
Jon Mcxro - The Fifth of Never [320~16]
José Tomás Molina - Discography (2014-2019)[16~24]
Josh Groban - Discography (2001-2015)[320, except Stages in 16]
Joss Stone - Introducing... Joss Stone
Juice OST
Justin Timberlake - Discography (2002-2013)[16~24]
k.d. lang - Ingénue, Invincible Summer
Kadebostany - Pop Collection, Monumental [24]
Kanye West - Discography (2003-2019)[320-24]
Kehlani - Discography (2014-2020)
Keith Ape - Project: Brainwash, Born Again, various singles
Kelly Fraser - Sedna
Kendrick Lamar - Discography (2011-2017)
Kerry Muzzey - Trailer Music 3, The Architect, Trailer Music 4: Neo
Kevin Garrett - Mellow Drama, A Heart Like Yours, Hoax, Made Up Lost Time, Singles
Kid Cudi - Discography (2008-2013)[ALAC]
Kiel Magis - Kiel Magis
Kieran Fearing - Reprieve
Kieran Martin Murphy - The Painter's Hand, Theatrics

Korean:
DJ Doc - 4th Album
eAeon - Guilt-Free
H.O.T. - We hate all kinds of violence, I yah!, Age of Peace OST, Outside Castle, The Best
IU - Miscellaneous
Park Wan Kyu - 천년지애 (千年之愛)
Rain - First Drop
Shinhwa - First Mythology, My Choice, Wedding
Taeyang - Hot [EP]
Taeyeon - Miscellaneous

k-os - Exit, Joyful Rebellion, Atlantis: Hymns for Disco
Koutev Bulgarian National Ensemble
Krizz Kaliko - Son of Same [239~270], Go [320]
Kubo and the Two Strings OST
Kwabs - Wrong or Right [245], Pray for Love, Walk, Love + War
La La Land - The Complete Musical Experience [24]
La Quinta Estación - Sin Frenos [192]
Lady Gaga - Discography (2008-2020)[24]
Ladysmith Black Mambazo [192~257] - The Very Best of
Lana Del Rey - Discography (2012-2019)[16~24]
Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
Le Flow - The Definitive French Hip Hop Compilation
Le Mystère des Voix Bulgares - Vol.1+2 [320]
Le mystère des voix Corses - les plus belles polyphonies [320]
Led Zeppelin - Discography (1969-1982), Remasters [24/96]
Lenny Kravitz - Greatest Hits
Leonard Cohen - The Future
Les Choristes OST
Les Musiciens de Saint-Julien - The High Road to Kilkenny
Leslie Odom Jr. - Leslie Odom Jr. [24], Mr.
Lhasa de Sela - La Llorona [320]
Lil Dicky - Hump Days [256], So Hard [320], Professional Rapper [128]
Lil Uzi Vert - Eternal Atake
Linkin Park - Discography (2000-2020)[16~24/96/MQA]
Lionel Richie - Back to Front
Loïc Nottet - Selfocracy, Sillygomania
London Grammar - If You Wait [24/96], Truth is a Beautiful Thing [24]
Lou Val - Lonely in Paradise, Don't Look Now, Singles
LP - Lost on You
Ludacris - Chicken-Beer, Release Therapy
Ludovico Einaudi - Echoes: The Einaudi Collection, Una Mattina, Divenire [320], Nightbook, Islands: Essential Einaudi [320], Elements [320], Seven Days Walking [24]
Luniz - Operation Stackola
Mac Miller [24] - Swimming, Circles
Madredeus - Various albums (1987-2005)[128~320]
MAGIC! - Don't Kill the Magic, Primary Colours, Expectations
Maksim - Discography (1999-2010)[320, except 2 albums in 16]

Mandarin:
5566 - 1st Album
Energy - E3, 無懈可擊, 米迦勒之舞
F4 - 煙火的季節
IPIS 蟑螂 - 第四蟑
RuRu - 美麗心情
S.H.E. - 青春株式會社, 美麗新世界, Together
Tension 天炫男孩 - Discography (2001-2004)
不能說的秘密 OST [148~224]
伍佰 - 夢的河流, 冬之火 九重天演唱會特選錄音專輯
伍思凱 - 分享
南拳媽媽 - 南拳媽媽的夏天
周杰倫 - Discography (2000-2006)
宋岳庭 - Life's a Struggle
張信哲 - 精選, 從開始到現在
張學友 - 走過1999, 張學友音樂之旅Live演唱會
張智成 - 凌晨三點鐘
張衛健 - 齊天大聖孫悟空
徐婕兒 - 愛之初
戴佩妮 - 怎樣
手牽手大合唱
林俊傑 - 樂行者, 第二天堂
海豚灣戀人 OST
王心凌 - Begin...
臥虎藏龍 (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) OST
英雄 (Hero) OST
范逸臣 - 同名專輯
蔡依林 - 看我72變, 城堡
薔薇之戀 OST
許慧欣 - 孤單芭蕾, 幸福
謝霆鋒 - VIVA, 了解, Viva Live 謝霆鋒演唱會
郭富城 - 目眩城迷 全精選
陳冠希 - Edison Chen
陳小春 - 抱一抱, That's Mine

Mandido - Time on Our Hands
Marc Anthony - Discography (1993-2013)[320]
Marian Hill - Discography (2013-2020)[320~24]
Mario - Turning Point
Marvin Gaye - Discography (1961-2019)[16~24/192]
Mario Frangoulis - Various Albums (1998-2014)[128~320]
Marques Houston - MH
Mase - Harlem World
Master P - Ghetto D
Matt Corby - Into the Flame [EP], Resolution [EP], Live on the Resolution Tour [EP], Telluric, Rainbow Valley
Max Richter - Discography (2002-2020)[16~24/96]
MC 900 ft. Jesus - Welcome to My Dream, Open Step Ahead of the Spider
Meek Mill - Dreams Worth More Than Money [24], Championships
Metallica - Discography (Remastered)(1983-2020)[24]
Metro Boomin - Not All Heroes Wear Capes
Miah Luz - The Coming LP
Michael Bolton - Only a Woman Like You
Michael Bublé - Discography (1995-2013)[96~320]
Michael Conway Baker - Four Musical Portraits
Michael Jackson - Discography (1972-2014)[320 except Invincible in 16], The Ultimate Collection, The Essential Michael Jackson [24], King of Pop
Migos - Discography (2015-2018)[16~24]
Miguel - Discography (2010-2017)[16~24]
Miles Davis - Birth of the Cool [24/192], Bitches Brew [24/88], Kind of Blue
Mirah - Discography (1997-2009)[198~256]
Misha Mishenko - Discography (2016-2019)
Missy Elliott - Under Construction
Moana OST
Mob Bounce - Transformation, "Vision Quest"
Mobb Deep - The Infamous, Infamy
Mos Def [ALAC] - Black on Both Sides, The Ecstatic
Moulin Rouge! OST
Muddy Waters - Anthology
Muse - Origin of Symmetry [24/96], Absolution [24/96], The 2nd Law [24/96], Simulation Theory, Drones [24/96]
Musical Theatre - Various Musical Cast Recordings (1934-2017)[170~202, except Come From Away and Hamilton in 16]
Nahko - Dark as Night, On the Verge, Hoka [320], My Name is Bear [320]
Namie Amuro - Break the Rules, Genius 2000
Nas - Illmatic, It Was Written, Stillmatic, God's Son [ALAC], The Lost Tapes, Street's Disciple, Life is Good
Naturally 7 - Discography (2000-2015)
Naughty by Nature - 19 Naughty III
Nav - Good Intentions [24]
Ne-Yo - Discography (2006-2012)[320~16]
Night Lovell - Discography (2014-2019)[320~24]
Nina Simone - The Essential of Nina Simone [24/96]
Nipsey Hussle [ALAC] - Crenshaw, Victory Lap
Niro - Les autres
Niykee Heaton - Bad Intentions [320], The Bedroom Tour Playlist, Starting Over
Norah Jones - Come Away with Me, Feels Like Home, Not Too Late, Pick Me Up Off the Floor [24/96]
Notre-Dame de Paris (Musical) Cast Recording
NSYNC - No Strings Attached
Obie Trice - Cheers
October London - Discography (2016-2018)[320, except Color Blinds in 16]
Omar LinX - A Cold Welcome [320], City of Ommz, The Living Dead EP [128], Victor [320], M.O.R.
Omarion - O, 21, Ollusion
Once OST [96]
Onegin (Musical)
Opera Babes - Beyond Imagination
P. Diddy - No Way Out, The Saga Continues..., Bad Boy's 10th Anniversary... The Hits
PartyNextDoor - PX3
Pentatonix - Various albums [128~320]
Peter Gundry - Discography (2016-2019)[16~24]
Pharrell - Girl [24]
Pink Floyd - Discography (1967-2014)[16/24/MQA/DSD64]
Playboi Carti - Die Lit
PNL - Deux frères [320]
Portishead - Discography (1994-2008)
Post Malone - Discography (2016-2019)[16~24/88]
Prince - Discography (1978-2019)
Pusha T - Daytona [24]
Putomayo - World Reggae, Asian Lounge
Quavo - Quavo Huncho [24]
Queen - Discography (1973-1995), Live Killers, Live at Wembley '86, Greatest Hits, The Platinum Collection,
Rae Sremmurd - SremmLife, SremmLife 2
Raincity - Tell Me, Stuck on Replay, Raincity EP
Raleigh Ritchie - You're a Man Now, Boy
Reggie Couz - Just Couz, singles
Rick Ross - Discography (2006-2017)
Ricky Martin - Ricky Martin, Música + Alma + Sexo
Rihanna - Discography (2005-2016)
Riit - ataataga
Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1 + 2, Body Talk
Rockapella - 2
Roscoe Dash - J.U.I.C.E. [320], Dash Effect [160]
ROSK - remnants
Ruelle - Up in Flames, Madness, Rival, Emerge, Ode to Shadows, Earth Glow, Exodus
Run the Jewels - Run the Jewels 2, RTJ3 Instrumentals [24/96]
Sade - The Best of Sade
Saint-Preux - Concerto pour une voix
Sam Chimes
Sam Cooke - Portrait of a Legend 1951-1964
Sam Smith - Discography (2014-2017)
Sandra van Nieuwland [320] - And More, Banging on the Doors of Love
Santino Le Saint - Cloud 304, Xeno, Rage of Angels, Blue Pill [24+16], Red Pill, Singles
Sara Bareilles - Discography (2007-2015)[320, except What's Inside - Songs from Waitess in 24]
Scorpions - Discography (1972-2015)
Scott Leonard - 1man1mike
Sevdaliza - Discography (2017-2020)
Shai - If I Ever Fall in Love...
Sia - Discography (1997-2017)[16, except OnlySee + Healing is Difficult in M4A260, This is Acting in 24/96]
Sigur Rós - Discography (1997-2013)
Silla and Rose - Debut, Galactic Gala
Snoop Dogg - Doggystyle, The Doggfather, Tha Last Meal, R&G (Rhythm&Gangsta): The Masterpiece, The Blue Carpet Treatment
Snotty Nose Rez Kids - The Average Savage, Snotty Nose Rez Kids, Trapline, Born Deadly [EP]
Solange - A Seat at the Table
Southern Journey - Bad Man Ballads (Songs of Outlaws and Desperadoes, Vol. 5)
Stacey - Stacey, Stacey (Reconstruction), First Move
Stevie Wonder - The Definitive Collection
Straight Lines - Run for Cover
Stromae - Cheese, Racine carrée [24]
Sun Kil Moon - Discography (2003-2017)[320, except Benji + Common as Light and Love Are Red Valleys of Blood in 16]
Swollen Members - Bad Dreams
SWV - It's About Time
System of a Down - Discography (1998-2020)[16~24/96]
SZA - Ctrl
T.I. - Trouble Man Heavy is the Head
Tame Impala - Discography (2010-2020)[24/96~24/192]
Tamia - Tamia, "Stranger in My House"
Tanya Tagaq - Auk/Blood, Animism, Retribution, Toothsayer
Tasha the Amazon - Die Every Day, Black Moon
Taylor Swift - folklore [24]
Tech N9ne - Discography (1999-2013)[192~320, The Storm+Enterfear in 16]
TGT - Three Kings
The Beatles - Discography (1963-2009)
The Blaze - Territory, Dancehall
The Carters - Everything is Love
The Chronicles of Narnia OST
The Cinematic Orchestra [320] - Every Day, Man with a Movie Camera, Ma Fleur, To Believe
The Fingerbangerz - Vi-R-Us
The Game - The Documentary, Jesus Piece, Blood Moon: Year of the Wolf [320], The Documentary 2+2.5 [320]
The Godfather I+II+III OST [320]
The Great Gatsby - OST, The Orchestral Score, The Jazz Recordings
The Great Tenors - Vol.1+2, In Concert
The Hobbit OST (Special Editions) [24]
The Lion King - Complete Score [128], Return to Pride Rock [128]
The Lord of the Rings OST
The Lumineers - Cleopatra [24/96], C-Sides [24], Live Tracks [24], III [24]
The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready to Die, Life After Death [ALAC], Born Again
The Nutcracker (Ballet) [24/96]
The Piano Guys - The Piano Guys
The Pink Panther OST [320]
The Savannah Leigh Band - City of Grey
The Tango Project - The Tango Project
The Tenors - Discography (2008-2015)[156~254, except The Perfect Gift+Under One Sky in 16]
The Tony Rich Project - Words
The Weeknd - Discography (2012-2020)[16~24/192]
The xx - xx, Coexist, I See You
Three 6 Mafia - Most Known Unknown
Timbaland - Shock Value
Tinie Tempah - Demonstration [320]
Toni Braxton - Toni Braxton, Secrets
Tony Bennett - The Essential Tony Bennett, a wonderful world (with k.d. lang), The Absolutely Essential 3 CD Collection, Duets II [320], Tony Bennett Celebrates 90
Tory Lanez - Discography (2010-2020, except Daystar)[160~320, except I Told You in 16, Chixtape 5+The New Toronto 3 in 24]
T-Pain - Discography (2005-2012)[192~320, except Epiphany+Thr33 Ringz in 16]
Tracy Chapman - Tracy Chapman
Travis Garland - Discography (2011-2015)[160~320, except Travis Garland in 16]
Travis Scott - Discography (2013-2018)[16~24/88]
Trey Songz - Trey Day [320], Passion, Pain & Pleasure [320], Chapter V [320], Back Home [24]
TroyBoi - icekream [128~320], SoundSnobz [128~320], Left is Right [128], V!BEZ [128], V!BEZ, Vol.3, V!BEZ, Vol. 4 [16MQA], "Afterhours"
Tsar B - Discography (2016-2020)
Ty Dolla $ign - Featuring Ty Dolla $ign
Tyga - Discography (2008-2016)[320], Legendary
Tyrese - I Wanna Go There
UltraVillain [24] - "Break Out", Lost in You, I N V U
Ulvesang - Ulvesang [24], The Hunt
Unity: Athens 2004 (Olympic Games Album)
Usher - Discography (1994-2018)[16~24]
Van Morrison - Moondance
Vitas - Discography (2001-2009)[128~256, except A Kiss as Long as Eternity+20th Century Hits in 16]
Waka Flocka Flame - Flockaveli
Whitney - Light Upon the Lake
Whitney Houston - Whitney Houston
Wisin & Yandel - Discography (2000-2012)[320]
Wiz Khalifa - Cabin Fever, Rolling Papers, Cabin Fever 2, We Dem Boyz [320], Cabin Fever 3, various songs
Wiz Khalifa & Curren$y - 2009 [24]
Wyclef Jean - Carnival, Vol. II- Memoirs of an Immigrant
X Japan - Discoraphy (1988-2017)[16~24/96]
Xavier Rudd - Discography (2002-2018)
XXXTentacion - Revenge [320], 17 [24/192], ? [320]
Xzibit - Restless
Yann Tiersen - Discography (1995-2003)[96~160, except Amélie in 16], Portrait [24/96]
YG - My Krazy Life, Still Brazy, My Life 4Hunnid [24]
Young Bleed - My Balls and My Word
Young Buck - Buck the World
Young Thug - Barter 6 [320], Slime Season [24], Slime Season 2 [320], I'm Up [320], Slime Season 3 [320], Jeffery [320], So Much Fun
Yuki Kajiura - Discography (includes side projects: FictionJunction/YUUKA, Kalafina)(Anime soundtracks 1996-2018)
Yuna - Chapters
Zed Yun Pavarotti - French Cash
Zeina - Odd One Out, various singles
submitted by SardisSailphare to riprequests [link] [comments]

Stolen Valor - Chapter 3

Here we go! I'm hoping as I get back to a schedule with school that I can actually get these out faster. Thanks for reading!
First | Previous

“Stttreng, I’ve gotta ask you a question. This is an important one, so listen up.” I looked over to Stttreng, and handed him back the pictures of the Ark. “When I left Earth, that’s our homeward by the way, I don’t know if you figured that out from the Ark or not. But anyway, when I left Earth, I worked for the people who apparently built the Ark. See the blue planet logo that says NASA?” I pointed at the prints he was still holding in his stubby little hand, and he nodded back at me. I hope that means yes to them too.
“I worked for them. NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. At the time of my departure, my craft was one of our most advanced projects, there were only a couple others in production at the time. Something like the Ark Phoenix there would have taken a lot of time to build, as it looks way more advanced than my little ship, not to mention the massive stature. So. My question is this-“ Stttreng perked up, hopefully paying rapt attention. “How long ago did that ship crash? It must have taken at least a few decades to put together after I left, and some time in transit before it crashed. How long have I been floating out here?”
Stttreng’s giant, beady black eyes were staring straight at me, and I could see his mind trying to figure out what to say to me. “Well,” He started, “In our time, it has been 500 revolutions. In the Human calendar, I’m not sure. I know the hierarchy on our homeworld has scientists working in the Ark, as you say, to learn more about it. I’m sure they have the information you seek.”
500 revolutions. Making a big assumption and hoping those translate somewhat close to years, that still puts me 500 years in the future. I need to get to this Ark, and figure out what actually happened to Earth and the people that must have been on that ship. Stttreng said they didn’t find any bodies, but that a) could have been a lie, and they ate them or some shit, or b) NASA sent out the most massive vessel ever constructed by man, called it an ark, and didn’t put anybody on it. So far, I’m thinking option A is more likely.
“So, I need to get to the Ark. How far away are we from your homeward?” Now instead of being adrift with no plan, I at least have a destination, so I’ve got that going for me.
Stttreng sat up even straighter at the question. “How far are we? Not very far in the grand scheme of things, I suppose. We have a couple stops, so only a revolution of travel should see us there.”
“A revolution! Jesus Christ that’s not exactly close Stttreng! Not very far my ass!” This sucks! I don’t want to be on a ship with this douche for a whole revolution! However long that may be!
“Well the stops add time, you see. This vessel didn’t fly out here because of you, we have business to attend to at a few stations before we can head for the Ark. This is a trading vessel. We have to trade for supplies and other goods while we are out here. Since you are a Human, you seeing the Ark shouldn’t be a problem, but we still have to feed the crew!” He was getting a little more fidgety, like he didn’t want to say anything. At least he stood up for his crew? Food is important and all.
“So, how long could would it be without the stops? Maybe at one of these stations I could hire some other transport?”
“I suppose you could, but you don’t have any money! But to answer your question, with no stops and a passenger shuttle going straight home, it would only take a few spins.”
“How long is a spin compared to a revolution?” It sounded shorter, but how much so?
“One spin is 1/10 of a revolution, and it would probably take 3-4 spins from the station, IF there is a ship for hire that will take you there for no pay.”
That’s better I guess. To be fair, these are interstellar distances we’re talking about, I guess it takes some time. But the money situation is a serious one. I need some cash dollars to hire a ship. Maybe they grabbed stuff from my ship when they picked me up that I could trade?
I looked up at Stttreng, and stood. As much as we got off on the wrong foot, he seemed to be a decent guy now that I put him in his place. I walked to the door, pausing when I realized he wasn’t following me. “Well?” I asked.
“Well what?” Stttreng’s voice was still weird to me.
“I wanna see my cryo pod and any remnants of my ship you collected! You did get some of it right?”
“Well yes, we have some of the wreckage, and your pod obviously. You are free to do as you wish, I’m sure work of your Human-ness has spread throughout the ship, nobody will stop you.”
“Yeah but I don’t know where to go, so come on” It’s like I’m new around here or something!
“Oh! Of course, you will need a guide. If it would be alright, I can have Va’ska escort you, I will need to make some calls to inform the hierarchy of your arrival, and destination.”
Uh oh, decision time. Do I let Stttreng call his bosses and potentially tell them bad things about me? Or do I let his call in the hopes it will smooth things out later?
Well, he did try to kill me once, but their martial prowess isn’t much to speak of. I bet with some time to prepare, and my stuff, I can handle myself. Better to let him potentially help me out. Not without putting the fear of god into him first though.
“That’s fine. I’m sure you have only good things to say about me right? Your calls are gonna smooth things out for when I get to the Ark?”
He shifted in his seat, “Y-yes? That is what I intended.” He seemed nervous.
“Good! I wouldn’t want a misunderstanding because your call made the hierarchy mad at me, I’m sure you wouldn’t want that either!” I glared at him as hard as I could.
“N-no, there will be no misunderstanding from me, I promise.”
At least he’s smart enough to get the idea here.
“Great, glad we cleared that up. Wanna call Va’ska for me?” I turned the charm back on, time to be polite again.
“Yes, I will notify her of your need for her assistance.” With that, Stttreng turned his attention to a tablet thing he procured from some pocket.
I walked out of the room and waited in the corridor. I took stock of my surroundings, this being the first time I’ve been alone on the ship. I’m very happy to report that the ship looked straight out of a certain popular sci-fi franchise. Lots of white paneling, with lots of beepy-boopy lights that didn’t seem to mean anything, but still looked very impressive all the same. Overhead lights were spaced in 10 foot intervals or so, as far as I could see down this corridor. I could see doors like the one I had come out of every so often, changing spacing for different room sizes I guess. There didn’t seem to be anywhere to sit down while I waited, so I walked over to the nearest door to do a little exploration of my own. The door had two big buttons on a panel just to the left of it, just inviting me to push one. I pressed the one on top, and hooray! The door slid open revealing what I would describe as a very impressive janitor’s closet. There was a robot thing inside, who now appeared very startled at his new guest. I stepped inside, and outstretched my hand on reflex.
“Hello! Who’re you?” I asked jovially, no need to be rude after I already disturbed this guy’s peace.
“U-u-uhhh, h-h-hello?” The FRIB construct looked up from his desk/workbench. As I said, very impressive janitors closet. He seemed to recoil a little from my hand, and I’m sure he had no intention of shaking it, even if he did know what a handshake was.
‘Yes, Hi! I’m Scott, who’re you?” I brought my hand back to my side, I’m not getting a handshake out of this guy anytime soon. He looked nervous, like oil spill your pants nervous.
“You’re the human.” He stared up at me, I would say jaw dropped but FRIB didn’t have jaws in that sense, but he still looked dumbfounded based on how the light on his face was blinking rapidly.
“Sure am! Yessir I am indeed a human, my name is Scott.”
“You’re a human, and you’re talking to me.” Wow, he’s all kinds of quick.
“Yeah, that’s how conversation goes. Normally this would be where you introduce yourself, and we shake hands. That’s how it went on Earth anyway. I assume you guys have a similar way of conversing?”
“Oh! Uuhh, yes, of course we do!” He seemed to snap out of it a little bit. “But I’m shocked, why would you be talking to me? I’m just a maintenance crewman.” Well obviously, who else would be in the janitorial throne room?
“Well, I’m waiting for Va’ska to lead me around, I got bored in about 2 seconds flat, and this was the closest room, so I came to see what’s inside.”
“Oh. I thought you required something from me, and I had no idea what that could have been.”
“Nope, just looking around, but you never told me your name.”
“I am called JYPT, I am the maintenance FRIB for this section of the ship.”
“JYPT eh? Cool name! Now since we are properly introduced, we shake hands!” I reached out again, and JYPT looked from me, to my hand, and back to me. Explanation time.
“You guys don’t do handshakes do you?”
“I am unaware of this ‘handshake’ though I assume it has to do with your outstretched limb?” See, quick.
“Yeah, its an old Earth greeting. We clasp hands, then shake up and down once.”
“Why would you do this?” He seemed confused.
“What? I dunno, it was a greeting, and a way to quickly judge the other person if you had not met before. A solid handshake was very necessary in making a good first impression.”
“Interesting. So all I have to do is grab your hand?”
“And shake up and down, but that’s the gist.” He outstretched his arm manipulator thingy, and grabbed my hand. We shook, and he let go. Nothing to it.
“Nice! Now we have a full proper introduction, and you can say you were the first person/construct to shake hands with a real Human!”
JYPT looked down at his manipulator, seemingly in awe.
“The first Human ever found, and I am the first to share in a real Human greeting. This is the most amazing experience I’ve ever had. Thank you for sharing this with me human.” JPYT seemed happy with themselves at least, so hooray for making friends! I am a little concerned that he was so infatuated with my being Human and all, I didn’t think word had spread that quickly.
“Sure thing buddy, I’ll see you around.” As I turned to leave, I looked back, “And call me Scott.”
With that, I stepped out of the room, and saw a flustered Va’ska looking out of another room. I had heard Stttreng use ‘her’ to refer to Va’ska, so I guess Va’ska is a female Dar’loopian.
“There you are! I was called to escort you, but when I arrived you were not here!”
She exclaimed, rushing over to me. “I did not think I took that long after the call to get here, I am sorry for my tardiness.” She looked down at my feet, sullen expression on her.. beak? Yeah sure. On her beak.
“Nothing to be sorry for, I was just looking around while I waited for you.” I responded kindly. If humans were such a big deal to this coalition, and all the people on this ship know I’m a human, I had to be careful not to cause anybody unnecessary stress on my part. I know all I have is a sample size of like, 4 now, but being a human on this ship seems like instant fame.
“Nevertheless, I apologize, I will be more prompt in the future.” She rustled her feathers and seemed to smooth them out some. “Now, I was to lead you to your belongings, shall we go?”
“Sure, lead on.”
Va’ska lead me through a bunch of corridors, all looking very similar to the one we were in initially. We passed a handful of crew members, some Skagan guards, some Dar’loopians wearing nicely colored robes, and some FRIB all holding tools and such. Each time we passed someone, they backed up against the wall and seemed to be staring at me, and somehow looking anywhere else at the same time. Va’ska was silent for most of the walk so far, but I had a big question to ask.
“Va’ska? Do you mind if I ask you a question?” She jumped a little at the sound, but recovered quickly.
“Of course, I will answer any questions you have.”
“I haven’t met a lot of people onboard yet, but once you found out I was a human, you, KARM, the maintenance guy JYPT I met, and even Stttreng have seeming to be walking on eggshells around me, not to mention the reaction of the crew we’ve passed when they saw me. I know I’m the first/last human or whatever, but that can’t be all there is to it.”
Va’ska sighed, “May I be honest with you? The real answer may be offensive to you.”
“Of course, I want to hear the truth. I won’t be offended.”
“The Human ship is mythical, as are the Skagans that claim Human ancestry. When you revealed you are a real human by besting Skagan troops, that news spread quickly around the ship. I made sure of it. The last thing we want to do is to find a real human, and make them angry with us enough to wipe us all out. Your people are gods in our minds. And now you walk among us.”
Shit, that’s heavy. I’m a pretty cool guy, but I’m no god. And wipe them all out? Sure I may be tough compared to the Skagans, but I can’t take on a whole ship by myself, can I? I looked back at Va’ska. We had stopped walking, and she was looking up at me.
“Va’ska, I need everyone to understand, I am not a god. No Human is, was, or will ever be. We are normal people just like you. Some humans may have tried to take advantage of you and encouraged their own divinity, but not me.”
“I don’t know if I believe you, with your prowess in battle, and the technical mastery that is the human ship, what are you if not gods?”
“First of all, prowess in battle is a big stretch. It was one fight where I bum rushed some guys. Nothing special. Second, and I’d have to see it for sure, but I’d say there isn’t anything on that ship that you can’t accomplish with time. I don’t know how things had changed from my day, and even what your technical abilities are in the coalition. We are just people, just like you, just like the Skagans, and just like the FRIB. Well maybe not exactly like you but you know what I mean.”
“I s-see.” Va’ska looked very shaken at this apparently revolutionary news. “I will have to think on this further. You certainly have a lot of conviction behind this statement. But in the meantime, shall we proceed to your belongings?”
“Sure, lets go.”
As we walked a little further, we entered a door that looked exactly like all the others, but the contents were decidedly different. The room held my cryo pod, now forced open, as well as some of the tougher crates, and our lockers from the cryo-chamber. I didn’t know if I could stomach looking through Jamie’s things just yet, so I went to look through my locker. Just as I was about to open it, the ship shook violently, and red lights started flashing in tune to a really annoying alarm.
I looked at Va’ska, and shouted at her, “What’s happening?!”
She brought up her tablet, and her eyes widened.
“We are under attack, pirates are boarding the ship! Skagan troops are reacting to the breach!”
Again, Oh Shit! Pirates! That seemed kinda cliche, but who am I to judge? Since I was now on this ship, I felt I had to help somehow. I ran over to my locker, and thanked god the small box was still in the bottom of it. I lifted out the small hardcase, and retrieved my emergency handgun, a Glock 19. Not the fanciest gun, but it’ll get the job done. Each astronaut got one, I’m not sure what emergencies they thought we would need one for, we didn’t land on Earth randomly anymore, and we didn’t have any pirates in our space. In any case, there were boarders to deal with. If their guns felt like paintballs to me, I’m gonna bet they love some 9mm.
submitted by breakingcake to HFY [link] [comments]

Looking Back at the Last Decade of Baseball: The 2020s in Review (part 1 of 2)

The last decade of baseball sure has been fun, hasn’t it? We’ve had thrills, we’ve had chills, we’ve had spills, . But a decade is a long time, and much has been forgotten: So let’s look back on the 2020s, and all the things that happened in it! We begin in...

2021

January: Hype builds around the top free agent of the season, Trevor Bauer. After announcing that he will not accept any deals that do not have leading numbers of either 69 or 420, front offices scramble to free up the necessary budget space.
February: As players arrive at spring training, there is an astounding amount of hype surrounding the young superstar Vladimir Guerrero Jr., who is reported by multiple news outlets as being in, ‘the worst shape of his life’.
March: After four intense months of free agent negotiations, Trevor Bauer announces he plans to take a gap year to explore his possible options in life.
On Opening Day, Byron Buxton runs full-tilt into the outfield wall while trying to track down a Jorge Soler home run. He breaks three wrists and is out for the remainder of the season, sparing Twins fans the disappointment of seeing him waste his batting potential.
April: Mike Fiers, sick of being snubbed by front offices due to his role in blowing the whistle on the Astros sign stealing scandal, writes a tell-all where he claims he was the brains behind the whole operation. Eight different MLB clubs and Bill Belicheck immediately send him a contract offer.
May: Mark Reynolds announces his retirement on the grounds of being completely blind. He is promptly offered a lucrative contract by the umpire’s union.
June: On June 12, highly touted prospect Seth Beer makes his major league debut with the Arizona Diamondbacks. He uses ‘Beer’ by Reel Big Fish as his walkup song, and is immediately banned from baseball for life for reminding people that ska existed.
July: Fernando Tatis Jr. again ignites controversy from the media and from former players after being intentionally walked when his team is up by ten. “That is a disgusting act by Fernando Tatis Jr. and it's unfortunate that we had that on our air live”, says Joe Buck, calling the game for FOX, “That is disgusting by Tatis”.
Toronto continues their long-standing tradition of signing prospects who were born of somebody who screwed someone who used to be a good major league player by bringing A.J. Burnett Jr. into their minor league system.
August: Hawk Harrelson returns to broadcast a single game for the White Sox. Chicago gives up ten runs in the first, and Hawk remains completely silent for the last eight innings.
After years of controversy, the Cleveland Indians finally announce their rebrand. Their announcement states, “We waited far too long to get rid of Chief Wahoo. We’re not going to be late to the party for the next step. With Washington rebranding, it’s time to strike while the iron is hot. We recognize that there will likely be uproar, but history will vindicate us. From now on, the team will be known as the Ohio Indians”.
September: The MLB marketing team goes into overdrive and announces the creation of MLBFilms, a movie company developing films starring MLB players to try to increase their public image.
October: The Mariners put the final touches on a blessed season by mounting a five-run comeback against the Angels in the bottom of the ninth inning of game 162. Kyle Seager hits a walk-off grand slam to cap it off. They finish 73-89.
November: With the close of the 2021 season, the collective bargaining agreement between the MLB and the Player’s Union ends. For the sake of everyone’s sanity, both sides agree to ignore this.
After further investigation into the Astros sign stealing scandal, the Comissioners’s Office announces new sanctions: Cleveland State will receive the ‘death penalty’.
December: The Rockies broadcast team welcomes Matt Holliday as their new color commentator. The longtime Colorado player joins Drew Goodman, Ryan Spilbroughs, and Jeff Huson in the booth.
A.J Pierzynski receives two votes for the Hall of Fame and immediately demands a recount.

2022

January: Tim Lincecum, long time Giants fan favorite, announces his intent to come back to baseball. ‘I’ve been out of this game too long. I wasn’t sure if the fans and the team would accept me after all this time, but the support I’ve received has been incredible. When this position as a bat boy opened up, I knew it was made for me”. He will face stiff competition from a number of eight year olds to fill the position
MLBFilms announces their first movie: a four hour long, Scorsese-directed gender swapped version of A League of Their Own. It stars Mike Trout, Bryce Harper, Giancarlo Stanton, and Mo’ne Davis. It will be cinema.
February: The Blue Jays show some concern as Vladimir Guerrero Jr seems to have gained more weight during the offseason, ballooning up to 300 pounds, and requesting a position change to designated hitter.
March: Tragedy strikes Tampa Bay as Tropicana Field is mistaken for an abandoned shopping mall and torn down by a demolitions company. The goof isn’t noticed for almost a week until a group of Yankees fans arrives to buy tickets.
April: Trevor Bauer finally decides to sign with someone, and signs a $69 million, 4.20 year deal with the White Sox for the express purpose of trying to get suspended by Tony La Russa.
May: The Rays announce they are rebuilding Tropicana Field exactly as it was, brick-for-brick. They put out a call for any Yankees fans who might have attended the stadium in the last few years to send pictures to work off of, as the original plans for the Trop were traded to the Mariners for cash considerations years ago.
Nelson Cruz invites controversy after choosing the 17 minute version of ‘In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida’ as his walkup song, and not stepping into the box until the entire song is finished. He manages to avoid getting plunked by pitchers until he starts doing air-guitars with the bat and drumming the solo on home plate.
June: The MLB marketing team jumps back into action by putting pictures of Spiderman on the bases, presumably on direct order from J. Jonah Jameson. This is immediately met with massive backlash from every human being on earth, including Spiderman himself. Bud Selig counters, “Suck it up, buttercup.” This is a real thing that happened.
The Braves pay Bruce Sutter ten million dollars and thank their lucky stars that Bobby Bonilla gets all the press.
July: The umpire’s union receives serious backlash after Ron Kulpa blows a ball-strike ball on a David Price perfect game in progress, causing him to walk Nick Castellanos with two outs in the first inning.
Joe Buck broadcasts the entire Home Run Derby solo, saying, ‘And we will see you tomorrow night’ in a straight, monotone voice for every single home run; gradually increasing in volume until he yells at the top of his lungs continually during the final round. It receives the highest ever ratings for any television event ever. Jo Adell wins with three total home runs.
On July 21st, in a game against the Diamondbacks, Kenley Jansen intentionally balks to move a runner from second to third. Sensing unwritten rules being broken, Brian McCann punches his way out of his grave beneath the mound and hits Jansen with a DDT, killing him instantly.
August: Tony La Russa publicly announces he is moving on to a more sabermetric way of managing, and moves his center fielder out of the first spot in the batting order. “Perhaps, depending on how this goes, I may even move the catcher out of the ninth spot in the order.”
September: As their season ends, the Ohio Indians announce another name change, citing how large the backlash was and how offensive they learned their name was to the millions of people who were not acclimatized to it. They are now known as the Lake Erie Indians.
October: The Marlins, after years of careful management by Derek Jeter, sweep the National League playoffs on their way to a World Series victory over the Athletics in six games. Immediately after hoisting the trophy, the entire front office is sold off to other franchises to save salary room.
After the World Series, Bud Selig officially announces his retirement as MLB commissioner. “After thirty years in this position, it’s time for me to move on. I am grateful to the owners throughout Major League Baseball for their unwavering support and for allowing me to lead this great institution. I thank our players, who give me unlimited enthusiasm about the future of our game. Together we have taken this sport to new heights and have positioned our national pastime to thrive for generations to come. Most of all, I would like to thank our fans, who are the heart and soul of our game.” Tony Clark is thought to be next in line for the position.
November: Bill James publishes his new book, The Measure of a Man, where he has an exact formula worked out for the value of individual human lives. Mike Trout is worth exactly $290,322,784.32. You are worth twelve cents.
December: The Winter Meetings begin with a bang as the Mariners announce they are trading Kyle Lewis for ten of the Yankees’ wins next year. DiPoto says, “They probably won’t need them, and although we aren’t going to get enough to win the whole shebang, we might be able to get the 15 percent share to get an invite to the debates. With that kind of media coverage, who knows where we can go?”

2023

January: The Nationals announce that Mike Rizzo is stepping down as President of Baseball Operations, but not before giving himself ‘a full and legal pardon for all crimes he may or may not have committed while in his position, and for all the crimes he may or may not commit in the future.’
The Athletic releases a shocking exposé showing that Tim Wakefield’s ‘rolling contract’ on the Red Sox will actually never expire due to a legal technicality. The Red Sox owe him $4 million, every year, until the heat death of the universe.
February: The MLB marketing team puts pictures of Mike Trout on milk cartons, with the caption, ‘Have You Seen This Kiiiiiiiid?’. The only result is the occasional call to the missing persons hotline whenever somebody accidentally tunes into an Angels game.
Vladimir Guerrero Jr. arrives at spring training announcing that he feels lighter and faster than ever, due to his fat folds being held up by repulsorlifts like Baron Vladimir Harkonnen in Dune.
March: Disaster strikes the Oakland Coliseum as the Wave takes hold of the stadium on opening day. Thousands of people die either of exhaustion or starvation. The governor attempts to declare a disaster zone, but finds out that legally, the entirety of Oakland has been a disaster for the last thirty years.
April: Nothing happened this month.
May: The Boston Red Sox are caught up in yet another cheating scandal, where the Blue Jays allege that Tom Brady, somehow, managed to deflate their baseballs before a key playoff game in 2022.
Byron Buxton runs headfirst into a Mack truck that was accidentally left parked in Target Field’s outfield by the ground crew. He loses eight ribs from the resulting surgery and is out for 6-8 weeks.
Robbie Cano is banned from the MLB for life after testing positive for shooting up black tar heroin into his eyeball.
June: Matt Holliday is suspended from his broadcast job after claims that, in the past, he had ‘inappropriately touched’ home plate during his Rockies career.
Tom Brady is ambushed at his house by Brian McCann and tombstoned directly into the driveway, killing him instantly. There are no witnesses.
July: Fernando Tatis Jr. is suspended by the Padres without pay for a week after being hit by a pitch with the bases loaded while up by twelve over the Dodgers. John Smoltz condemns his repulsive behavior by running up the score. Lynch mobs assemble outside Petco Park.
Billy Hamilton wins the Home Run Derby after discovering that inside the park home runs are not technically banned. He racks up 783 home runs in the first round alone before the kids playing the outfield figure out what’s going on.
August: Matt Holliday is cleared and reinstated to his job after no evidence was found of him actually touching home plate. In a public statement, he thanks the Padres for their longtime support and their hard work to clear his name in this matter.
During a Braves-Marlins game, the disembodied head of Joe Buck appears on the Fox Sports South broadcast on all cameras and stares wistfully into the camera for twenty-two seconds before bleeding from the eyes and fading away. Buck declines to comment on the matter.
September: Jose Canseco announces in a tweet that, if he is not elected to the Hall of Fame by the Veteran’s Committee immediately, he will not intervene to save us all from the upcoming singularity robot apocalypse.
October: In the Wild Card game against the Blue Jays, the Astros again invite controversy by calling the other team’s bullpen phone constantly and telling Ken Giles to stop warming up; twenty-seven times in the eighth inning alone. With Toronto unable to use their bullpen, Russell Martin comes in for the save situation and gives up seventeen runs. Charlie Montoyo attempts to protest the game, but the Astros yell so loud at the umpires that they can’t hear what he’s saying.
Pete Rose reveals that he was behind the 1978 Boston College point shaving scandal, and boy, did he make a ton of money from that. He is immediately banned for life from the Basketball Hall of Fame.
November: Both the American and National leagues award their MVP award to Albert Belle despite him being out of the league for twenty years, as he certainly did not deserve to lose to Mo Vaughn in 1995. Pedro Martinez finishes a close second.
Albert Pujols’ home run against Brad Lidge finally lands, killing millions on impact.
December: At the Winter Meetings, Brett Favre formally announces his retirement from the NFL.
The Yankees flex their checks and sign one of the best pitchers ever to have played the game for 15yrs/450million: Christopher Robin from Winnie The Pooh Home Run Derby.

2024

January: In an explosive piece of investigative journalism, The Athletic discovers that Joe Buck has ties to Russia. Buck categorically denied the allegations in a press statement, adding, ‘And we will see you tomorrow night. In court.’
Jose Canseco is unanimously elected to the Hall of Fame.
February: Vladimir Guerrero Jr arrives at spring training by oozing through the windows of the practice facility and reforming himself into a man-like form in the hallways. He moves to the outfield, as he now covers enough ground that the ball will never hit the turf.
March: MLB The Show 2024 releases to rave reviews from critics, despite being the exact same game as MLB the Show 2023 and MLB the Show 2022. It is voted the best sports game of the year for the simple fact that they did not remove features from last year’s game.
On opening day, Dusty Baker announces to the umpires that he will be playing the entire season under protest. He gives no explanation.
April: Spencer Torkelson makes his MLB debut for the Tigers, lasting an entire at-bat before the umpires pull him from the game and send him back to the 1890s where his name belongs.
The Yankees announce that they are moving away from the pinstripe uniforms which have dominated their style since the early days of the club, and are switching to more iconic and beloved uniforms - the 1970s Houston Astros rainbow jerseys, effective immediately. Yankees fans strenuously object because it’s harder to look like assholes when wearing bright, happy colors.
May: Aroldis Chapman mirrors Randy Johnson when, during a save opportunity at Yankee Stadium, he brings down a low-flying single engine plane with a pitch, killing the pilot. This becomes the second-worst plane accident involving a Yankees pitcher in New York in the last twenty years.. [Editor’s note: This is not a 9/11 joke. That would be incredibly distasteful and disrespectful to the thousands of Americans that died on that day. This is a joke about Corey Lidle, whose death is slightly more socially acceptable to make light of.]
June: Scientists working with the New York Yankees announce new developments in doing The Wave, led by observations at Yankee Stadium. This new version of The Wave, endorsed by Yankees fans around the world, will be done only with the middle finger.
July: MLBFilms announce their next release - a collaboration with Warner Bros: Scooby-Doo! Batter Up!, where the Scooby gang meets Bryce Harper and the Phillies and have to defeat a ghost that possessed the Philly Phanatic and locked the team inside Citizens Bank Park. The city of Philadelphia defeats the ghost by throwing batteries at it, and it’s revealed to have been Gritty all along. This is not a joke.
For the fifteenth and final time, the Reds pay Ken Griffey Jr. 3.6 million dollars, ending his deferred contract. The Reds front office once again thanks the Mets for being such boneheads that nobody cares that other teams have far, far worse deferred contracts than they do. Although none of the other ones had to do with Bernie Madoff.
August: The Blue Jays announce that they are negotiating with LeBron James, Jr for a minor league deal.
Brett Gardner tests positive for having a giant fucking head and is suspended by the MLB for 80 games. He appeals on grounds of the test possibly being a false positive, and the possibility that vitamins he took were contaminated, and that, as a sovereign citizen, the MLB has no right to test him. He also tests positive for eleven different steroids, which he does not contest.
September: Tony La Russa announces his retirement at the end of the season, citing his early stages of dementia. This confirms the rumors that spread around the league after La Russa wandered off in the middle of a game to find the nearest Cracker Barrel.
October: Fernando Tatis Jr. disrespects the game of baseball by arriving at Petco for a game after the Padres have clinched the top seed in the playoffs. Brain McCann materializes out of the aether and hits Tatis with an elbow off the top ropes, killing him instantly.
The MLB announces a new broadcast format for the World Series, where Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy will sit silhouetted in front of a screen with the official Joe Buck/Tim McCarver broadcast and heckle them constantly, MST3k style. It is cancelled after one game after complaints from Joe Buck’s mother.
November: Radical sabermetricians make the news by making threats against the MLB, warning that unless announcers actually learn how WAR and FIP work, ‘there will be consequences’. Commissioner Tony Clark gives a strong speech, responding that the MLB ‘does not negotiate with terrorists. We don’t even negotiate with the MLBPA most of the time’’.
December: The Red Sox trade Tim Wakefield’s rolling contract to the Mariners in exchange for the Mariners’ franchise history and the cutout of a baseball player that sits outside a Lowe’s in Seattle.

2025

January: The St. Louis Cardinals accidentally delete their Excel 95 spreadsheet listing their minor league prospects. It’s estimated that up to 200 ballplayers were lost, and though scouts managed to retrieve some of them, a large number still cannot be accounted for.
February: Vladimir Guerrero Jr. announces his retirement from baseball to star in an MLBFilms remake of ‘The Blob’.
March: The MLB floats the idea of having a ‘three batter minimum’ for pitchers, so that teams won’t continually switch pitchers to gain a handedness advantage. This is laughed at by everyone, so they forget about it. The idea never comes up again.
April: In an otherwise routine game at Target Field, Byron Buxton is tracking down a routine pop fly when he suddenly runs headlong into the evidence that Pete Rose bet against the Reds, shattering every bone in his body and eight in Max Kepler’s.
May: The Mets broadcast leaves a live mic on Zach Greinke, which picks up what he’s constantly mumbling about while on the mound. A transcript: “Dog carcass in alley this morning. Tire tread on burst stomach. The city is afraid [strikes out Tim Anderson] of me. I have seen it's true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over all the [induces a Chad Wallach pop-up] vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"... and I'll look down from the mound and [retires Derek Dietrich on three pitches] whisper "no"”
June: June 28, 2025. A date which will live in infamy. Everyone remembers where they were on that day. The pictures are burned into the brain of every man, woman, and child watching the All-Star game.
The black helicopter landing in center field.
The masked figures kicking a bound and gagged David Eckstein out of the door.
Their speech through the loudspeaker system, calling for the deaths of all those who stood in the way of progress. You all know what followed.
When that helicopter took off, leaving a four foot eight corpse on the field, the relationship between baseball and statistics was changed forever. SABR was declared a terrorist organization, and although Bill James denied any involvement and denounced the perpetrators, he would never be looked at the same. The FBI tracks him for the rest of his life.
July: C.C. Sabathia, Brian McCann, and the corpse of David Eckstein are inducted into the Hall of Fame. During his speech, Sabathia briefly mentions breaking the unwritten rules of baseball, and Brian McCann hits him with a steel chair, killing him instantly.
A huge remembrance of David Eckstein’s life takes place among the media.
“How can a man weighing 45 pounds and only two and a half feet tall make such an impression on the hearts of man? Not everyone has the grit, the determination, the grit, the dirtiness, the courage, the grit, or the grit to win in the MLB, but that’s only because Eckstein took the grit from all those people to use himself.”
“We all remember Eckstein single-handedly dragging the Cardinals to a World Series victory, but it’s easy to overlook his other work, and not just because he was so short. This was a man whose bodily fluids were filled with lunch pails.”
August: SABR’s hitlist is leaked by government agencies. It includes the two bozos who left Pedro Martinez off the MVP ballot, 90’s Joe Carter, John Smoltz, and everyone who ever wrote an article about David Eckstein, ‘to wipe clean the scum of the earth’. All of these people are immediately placed under police protection except John Smoltz, who refused it as he never believed in sabermetrics anyway.
September: A source inside the MLB suggests that they should have been more prepared for a terrorist attack, saying, “These guys are literally named SABR - could they have more of a Bond villain secret organization name? And look at their mission statement: ‘we seek the deaths of those who would desecrate our great national pastime, and those who refuse to understand it.’ - shouldn’t that have turned some heads? I believe that the MLB intentionally ignored this threat so they could go to war with SABR and then seize their oil”. Tony Clark refuses comment.
Tony La Russa announces his retirement from baseball at the end of the season.
October: After a long and storied career, Albert Pujols announces his retirement and immediately ages 150 years to return to his true age like Donovan at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Both dugouts rush his desiccated body to claim the bones as good luck charms.
November: David Eckstein is posthumously inducted into the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame as an honorary member of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.
The NAACP makes headlines when they release their list of Greatest Baseball Players of All Time, due to Jose Bautista taking the #1 spot over from Jackie Robinson. They justify it by saying ‘Jose Bautista is the Harriet Tubman of his times”.
December: After missing the playoffs for the tenth straight year, the Philadelphia Phillies trade Bryce Harper to the New York Yankees for a sack of potatoes.
Part 2: 2026-2030
submitted by SirParsifal to baseball [link] [comments]

best free bets grand national video

Grand National Best Bets - Dan Tory - YouTube Best Free Car Mods for Assetto Corsa PC (2019 Edition ... Grand National Meeting Best Bet - Ben Roe - YouTube Grand National 2015 - FREE Bet offer - YouTube Aintree Grand National 2019 - YouTube Grand National Day Best Bets  Timeform - YouTube Big Man Bracket Busters  Free Picks & Best Bets For The ... Talking Horses: Total Recall may be the best bet for open ... Top 10 Best FREE WEBSITES to Watch Movies Online! - YouTube 2019 Scottish Grand National Best Bets  Timeform - YouTube

The Best Win Bet, Each Way Bets and Long Shot for Grand National We aim to provide you with the best win bet for Grand National two great each-way tips for the race and a long-shot prediction. The win bet will probably come from the first 5 or 6 or so in the market and the prediction will be based on the horse out of the leading contenders which we think is the best bet. Grand National Free Bet Offers UK (2021) Compare our list of exclusive 2021 Grand National free bets & betting offers for new and existing customers in our list above. If you are here early, we recommend checking out our list of exclusive horse racing betting offers for bonuses that are valid all year round. Grand National Free Bets, Offers & Promotions. Which bookmakers will deliver the best Grand National offers this year? The Grand National is one of the biggest races of the year with horse racing fans in the United Kingdom and across the world keen to see who will win this year’s race.. As with every major horse racing event, every bookmaker in the industry will deliver a great menu of Grand Grand National Free Bets can be claimed with several operators and we recommend checking out the latest free bet offers as this will be the only time where you get something for free from the Grand National bookmakers. Some bookies will provide you with a Grand National Deposit Bonus when you sign up. This means that they will match your first deposit with a free bet of the same stake. Make Leading bookmaker – Betfred – will have plenty of Grand National Betting offers – such as Grand National free bets, non-runner no bet and best odds guaranteed, plus signing-up with Betfred for the 2021 Grand National will bring a whole host of big race offers to get stuck into. Virtual Grand National Free Bets 2020. As the Grand National was cancelled, the Virtual Grand National 2020 is quickly gathering momentum as a next best race that the nation can place a bet on. The event will be broadcast across the nation at 5pm on Saturday 4th April. The bookmakers will be donating all proceeds to NHS charities. At this stage Welcome to 'Free Bet on the Grand National' - the best resource for finding and comparing the free bets that UK bookmakers are currently offering for the 2021 Grand National. Not only do the best bookmakers offer a wide range of free bets on popular sports like football etc., they also offer free bets on large sporting events like the Grand National too. We're dedicated to finding you the very best Grand National free bets and betting promotions as well as highlighting the bookmakers Bookmakers who offer promotional deals become thin on the ground during the week of the Grand National. Those new customer offers you see advertised on TV will suddenly disappear at the beginning of April, only to resurface fifteen minutes after the Grand National is over!. However, there are a few betting firms out there who don’t leave punters high and dry on Grand National day. Grand National best betting offers and free bets for Aintree 2019. The best free bets offers for new customers at the Aintree Grand National Festival 2019 In truth, with so many people automatically placing a bet the Grand National, online sportsbooks tend to be thrifty with their Grand National offers. It means the best time to hatch a betting plan on the National is actually now. You can place free bets on the Grand National even now, several weeks away from the big race starting. Of course you

best free bets grand national top

[index] [6588] [44] [7475] [8841] [640] [2008] [1965] [3434] [3899] [282]

Grand National Best Bets - Dan Tory - YouTube

This video includes websites to watch free movies. If you’re looking for a free movie to watch, you have many choices. In this video, I’ll show you 10 of the... Ben Roe explains why Saphir Du Rheu is his 'best bet' for the 2016 Grand National meeting.To keep up-to-date with our latest content click here to subscribe:... Dan Tory explainS why Holywell is his top tip for the 2016 Crabbie's Grand National.To keep up-to-date with our latest content click here to subscribe: http:... Aintree Randox Health Grand National 2019 winner - Tiger Roll Talking Horses: Total Recall may be the best bet for open Grand National[DIE NEWS] Total Recall (5.15) can prove the answer to a fantastically competitive Gr... #assettocorsa #simracing #freemodsDownload links for the free car mods featured in this video are listed below. All of these mods are for Assetto Corsa on P... 2015 Grand National - FREE bet offer. £10 Daily Mirror VoucherCheck out http://www.amcleanbookmakers.com/horse-racing/Lord Windermere, J H CullotyMany Cloud... Timeform's Phil Turner runs through his Nap, Next Best and Long Shot ahead of Grand National Day at Aintree, including one at a big price in the main event. In the Season Finale of Big Man Bracket Busters, Big Man on Campus, Donnie Rightside, and Ian Cameron all provide their free picks and best bets for the Nati... Timeform's Senior Horse Racing Analyst Phil Turner looks at Saturday's racing at Ayr and picks out his three best bets, including one at a big price in the S...

best free bets grand national

Copyright © 2024 top100.playbestrealmoneygame.xyz